AITA for requesting my mother ask before taking my child(21months) off the property?
For context, I am a single mom who lives with my mother, her boyfriend, and my child. Because my daughter and I live in their house, they seem to think they have free reign to take off with my child without at the very least informing me.
Today, after they took my child for a drive around the neighborhood, I had requested my mother ask me before taking my child anywhere, and she blew up. I didn’t raise my voice, or curse. Nor was I disrespectful.
She started yelling about how she feels like a prisoner in her own house and that she shouldn’t have to ask for anything, including taking off with my child. (She no longer has a car because her boyfriend gave it to his son (the car was in the boyfriends name) after I bought my car, so she has to ask to use a vehicle now)
Her boyfriend put his two cents in saying that I have no say in anything because this isn’t my house so I will just have to deal with it. He said there is nothing I can do. (Technically, I can call the cops for kidnapping) I made the mistake of implying that by saying there was something I could do, to which my mother replied that she should call CPS on me for being “neglectful,” abusive,” and an all around “bad mother.”
She claims I am neglectful because I have a hard time waking up in the morning (I have 6+ alarms on any given day), which means my child is in the crib awake until I wake up (max of 1hr). There is a water cup in the crib, along with a couple stuffies, so my child has something to drink, and something for entertainment. I make sure to make breakfast as soon as I wake up so my child isn’t starving.
I also dont play with my child the entire time they are awake. I let my child play on their own a couple hours a day. During that time, I am reading or doing my own thing (while keeping an eye on her).
She claims I am abusive because of a few mistakes I made when my child was less than a year. I gave my child 1ml instead of the .5ml prescribed a couple of times before I realized my mistake and NEVER did it again. And there have been times where I have raised my voice because of frustration, but I have NEVER hurt my child.
My mother made me feel that requesting this was just me on a “powertrip” and that im trying to control everything. So AITA?
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AITA for requesting my mother ask before taking my child(21months) off the property?
For context, I am a single mom who lives with my mother, her boyfriend, and my child. Because my daughter and I live in their house, they seem to think they have free reign to take off with my child without at the very least informing me.
Today, after they took my child for a drive around the neighborhood, I had requested my mother ask me before taking my child anywhere, and she blew up. I didn’t raise my voice, or curse. Nor was I disrespectful.
She started yelling about how she feels like a prisoner in her own house and that she shouldn’t have to ask for anything, including taking off with my child. (She no longer has a car because her boyfriend gave it to his son (the car was in the boyfriends name) after I bought my car, so she has to ask to use a vehicle now)
Her boyfriend put his two cents in saying that I have no say in anything because this isn’t my house so I will just have to deal with it. He said there is nothing I can do. (Technically, I can call the cops for kidnapping) I made the mistake of implying that by saying there was something I could do, to which my mother replied that she should call CPS on me for being “neglectful,” abusive,” and an all around “bad mother.”
She claims I am neglectful because I have a hard time waking up in the morning (I have 6+ alarms on any given day), which means my child is in the crib awake until I wake up (max of 1hr). There is a water cup in the crib, along with a couple stuffies, so my child has something to drink, and something for entertainment. I make sure to make breakfast as soon as I wake up so my child isn’t starving.
I also dont play with my child the entire time they are awake. I let my child play on their own a couple hours a day. During that time, I am reading or doing my own thing (while keeping an eye on her).
She claims I am abusive because of a few mistakes I made when my child was less than a year. I gave my child 1ml instead of the .5ml prescribed a couple of times before I realized my mistake and NEVER did it again. And there have been times where I have raised my voice because of frustration, but I have NEVER hurt my child.
My mother made me feel that requesting this was just me on a “powertrip” and that im trying to control everything. So AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole in this situation because I believe I made my mother feel like she couldn’t do anything with my child without asking.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO: How did your mother leave without your child without you seeing it as it was happening? With a child that young, that’s really concerning,
Move out, it won’t get better.
NTA but your mama is power tripping because of her loss of control (no car, and I bet her boyfriend is “the man” in the house) Was she always like this while you were growing up?
You need to find someplace else to live.
NTA but you need to move out with your daughter ASAP. This is not a healthy living situation.
NTA – Its your child. That trumps everything. Let her know if you ever find the your child gone from the home you will now call 911 and report a kidnapping.
And we all make mistakes as parents. Kids don’t come with a manual. You mother made mistakes too. If she claim she didn’t, she is a liar. Just think back to stuff in your life new through the eyes of a parent.
You need to get out of that house as quickly as you possibly can. Your mother is threatening to have a false CPS case brought agaisnt you which could cost you your child. My mother would never dream of taking my son without informing me. She probably wouldn’t ask if it was something small and simple, but she would definitely let me know. And I have a great relationship with my mother and she knows she’s allowed to take him. Still gonna tell me. You have every right to be informed of everything involving your child. Your mother is way out of line here. Do not the cps threats lightly, there are very serious threats. Document everything you can in case you have to go down that road.
Both her and her bf are treating you as a second class citizen as well which is also unacceptable. Very bold for people who im assuming cant afford to live without your contribution.
Start working on your exit plan mama, its time to go.
No one should take your child without telling you. It also sounds like continuing to live with your mother and BF is a very toxic situation. I’m not sure what is going on with being unable to wake up but you should get yourself and your child out of that situation as soon as possible. They are not respecting your boundaries as a parent and who knows where that will take them or what they will feel entitled to do with your child.
NTA. She is wrong. Your child should be under your supervision or approved others at all times. You have the right to approve who takes her and where and when. They both have to ask you first.
Please try to move out. They are not logical if considerate and could endanger your child.
Info:
Is your mom babysitting? Or how does she even manage to take the kid off the property without you noticing?
NTA. It doesn’t matter whose house it is, the child is YOURS. That being said, you probably should set up your own babysitter and not expect mom to watch your kid if she can’t play by your rules.
NTA
Your mother is TA, 100%. She and her boyfriend are awful. If you have any way out of there, please take it. Otherwise, you are that child’s parent, not her, and have the final say and responsibility for her.
Well, it depends on how much childcare your mother does for you.
If she’s taking care of the child while you’re doing other things in the home and I’ll see a problem why she shouldn’t be able to take the kid when she sees fit .
However, if you’re doing all the childcare and she just waltzes in and takes the kid , no NTA
Why would you be an AH for demanding people who are not legal guardians ask permission before taking your legal child. Lay down the boundaries with mom and that boyfriend of hers is a risk for your baby.
NTA…your mother is rude and manipulative. The boyfriend can mind his own business. Hopefully you can move out soon.
Your mom is a raving narcissist blaming you for all of her problems. Text book manipulation to maintain control over you. And that boyfriend doesn’t own the house either so tell him to suck a d.
NTA. Move! Get housing vouchers, get a roommate, etc ..MOVE!!!
I would move ASAP. This situation will not improve and the fact your mother threatened you with CPS over bs means she will LIE to authorities to get her way. You don’t need that stress I your life.
If I was you I would also change your nighttime routine and get a full check up. Go to bed earlier. Cut out caffeine whatever you have to do to get up after 1 or 2 alarms. 6 alarms is a bit excessive and could be a symptom of underlying medical conditions.