My (26 F) husband (25 M) and I are finally looking to buy our first home after years of living with our parents. It’s a huge milestone for us—we’ve been through so much, not just in our relationship but in life in general. Things have been tough for a variety of reasons outside of us, and we’re more than ready to close that chapter and start fresh together. The idea of finally having a place that’s ours feels amazing.
We recently found a beautiful 2-bed with a balcony, and it honestly feels like a dream home. My husband is so excited, and I am too—but there’s a catch. The apartment is in the same building where, years ago, I had a brief fling with someone before I even met my husband. Later, during a rough patch early in my relationship, I made the biggest mistake of my life and sexted that same guy. My husband and I have worked through it completely, and our trust is fully rebuilt—his words, not just mine. He only knows this guy’s name, nothing more, and I don’t want to dredge up old wounds.
That being said, I can’t shake the guilt of knowing he’d be investing in a place with that history. Even though it’s not the same apartment, the connection to my past makes me feel sick. He deserves a home where we can start fresh, without anything hanging over us. But I also don’t want to ruin the excitement or make him question things that don’t need to be questioned.
How can I steer us toward another place without telling him the real reason?
TL;DR: Found our dream apartment, but it’s in the same building where I had a brief fling and later sexted the same guy while with my now-husband (a mistake we’ve fully moved past). Husband doesn’t know the full history, and I don’t want to hurt him, but I also feel guilty letting him invest in this place. How can I subtly steer us toward a different home?
Comments
Why don’t you let him tell you if it bothers him instead of preemptively feeling guilty about it?