TLDR; We barely talk on call, because he’s either watching a video or playing games, and we haven’t hung out for a while and I feel like he doesn’t put in the effort to see me.
some background: I’m a trans man who’s doing everything he can to pass in a transphobic family so I still look somewhat feminine. Before me he was straight and now he’s in denial about being gay for me. We’ve been dating for ~9 months and he took my virginity so i have the subconscious feeling of having to stay with him. His entire family loves me and accepts me as trans.
Throughout us dating he’s said a lot of things that I’ve had to laugh off or just pretend I was fine with. Often I’ll ask him why he loves me and he’ll respond with “I don’t know, you’re a great person. I think you’re amazing” which I guess is better than the answer he gave before which was just “I don’t know, I just do.” I’m extremely insecure in relationships so this doesn’t help whatsoever. Yesterday I asked him if he wanted to call and he said sure. The actual call lasted for 2hrs before we started sleeping on call, and for the 2 hours we only talked for a minute before he started watching a video. So I waited for him to stop watching the video so I could talk with him, but he didn’t tell me he was done and just started playing games. He knew I’ve been having a terrible past 2 months because of how depressed I’ve been, and I just felt ignored. He said “I hope you feel better,” instead of actively trying to help me feel better. In the past he said he loves me because I’m cute but then called some other character ‘cuter than me’ in this photo and it hurt, a lot. He once even said that he doesn’t see me as a guy, just as pronouns. I felt so indifferent about that because I don’t see myself as an actual guy either. We usually hang out every weekend, but last weekend we didn’t and I’m leaving to go somewhere tomorrow morning, we planned on meeting today, but we can’t now. I also don’t feel like he’s trying to make time for me anymore. I don’t want to leave him because I’ll feel terrible, but this entire relationship just makes me feel terrible. I used to be so happy to talk to him and beg to call him all the time, but now I don’t feel like that anymore, but I still want to be with him.
Comments
It’s not really on him to help you with your depression symptoms. You need to have some coping skills and not rely on other people to make you happy or feel better.