My bf (30) accuses me of(25) of being a liar and I constantly feel guilty

I’m going to try and make this as short as possible. We met just as I was turning 24 and he was 28-29. We met as he is best friends with my cousin, he has a history of cheating, a baby and has quite a terrible past. I was into photography and the creative scene when we met, I had guy friends, I had gone on dates but only ever kissed people and just did not think it was relevant to mention every single date or kiss as I was 24 now, I was with him and committed to him and I didnt delve into his past so I didnt think it was important.

I told him I kept to myself and minded my business, which is true. I’ve always been someone who has struggled with anxiety, and even if I went out I always felt out of place. That’s why since we have met I have felt so much happier in not having to be in spaces where I know I don’t belong. I had a TikTok account where I posted my photography work and some videos with friends, and it started this whole spiral of me being a liar, and how I hid who I was. And this has been going on for about 8 months now. I feel like every day I am being accused of lying, every day I have been forced to overshare because the guilt eats me alive. He says it’s my fault for not being honest from the start that I was a flirt or I was with guys all the time – which isn’t true. I was young, a girl in her early 20’s who had a mixture of friends, I went on dates, I had kisses, but nothing further physically ever happened with these people. He is constantly telling me I’m a liar, even if I turn around and tell him I didn’t tell you this one thing I’m sorry, I want to tell you now. He will say I lied about it – for example, me not telling him about kisses because I thought they were irrelevant turns into him saying well how many people have you kissed, why did you hide it, you were scared of what I’d think or say about you. He has said he thinks girls like me are easy, because I’ve kissed or flirted or had a date with someone. Mind you, a lot of this was 2-3 years before I even knew him. And as a young woman I had a few kisses or dates before I met him too, but I don’t know what to do anymore.

I love him a lot – maybe this does not make sense but the way I feel constantly guilty, I feel like I have been called so many names that someone who loves me should not say. I have been questioned on what ive done with every single person, he has cheated so many times on his ex but I am being made to look like the bad person… and his excuse is “well, I was honest with you about cheating from the start”. But every so often he will receive a dm or follow from a girl and I’ll hear a story that would’ve never crossed my mind. I feel like I’m constantly being gaslighted, called names, he doesn’t believe anything I say and doesn’t understand I thought some things were irrelevant to share or that I was scared of his reactions due to his temper. I feel suffocated and just want this all to stop, but I dont know how to fix any of this. please, please help.

tdlr: boyfriend accuses me of lying and is fixated on my past