First let me say that I really don’t think I am the asshole but here we go. My father died and me and him were really close so his death was supper hard on me. He also didn’t have life insurance. it was left to me really to fund everything that comes with someone passing. He did however have a few assets of which the most pricy was his fairly new bike. The bike was bought in cash and belonged only to him. The price of the bike would have paid off most of his bills and his funeral so I had planned on selling it. His best friend R had the bike in his possession because he was given the keys by my Dad’s GF M (of 4 weeks). She gave R the bike because she didn’t know how to ride. I was ok with this at first because I trusted her and him to keep it safe. As his child and the only one he spoke to it was all left to me to gather the funds to do what needed to be done. R knew this. From the beginning I told R that I had no funds my self and needed to sell the bike to pay for everything. I also want to say that his friends and R did raise money to help and my family helped but it was still not enough. I had to borrow a large sum of money in order to keep from losing the house and to pay for his services bills extra. Now I am left with a pile of my Dad’s bills, his house that is still mortgage to hell and no DAD who was my anchor really. Since the services R and M have apparently gotten together and no longer speak to me. They refuse to answer my calls or return the bike that is still in R’s possession. It appears that M told R that my Dad wanted him to have the bike and now he claims that the bike is his and I should stop harassing him. I only text him to return the bike so I could get it sold to pay for the services because the funeral home gave me a deadline. He said he was going to return it at first but never told me when and when he set a date to drop it off he never showed. This continued for months. But I only texted him 5 or 6 times in 4 months and I stopped calling after he stopped answering. I tried to reach out to his friends or family to get him to meet with me because at first I was clueless because R just stopped talking to me and never told me why. I had to borrow the money for the services but am still dealing with all the other debts. I don’t know if what M said was true as she does not speak to me or anybody in my family anymore. No will was left and R has no legal rights to the bike. AITA for wanting him to return the bike so I can sell it in order to pay my Dad’s bills and to keep my family home. Thank you
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First let me say that I really don’t think I am the asshole but here we go. My father died in March and me and him were really close so his death was supper hard on me. He also didn’t have life insurance. it was left to me and his sisters really to fund everything that comes with someone passing. He did however have a few assets of which the most pricy was his fairly new bike and his house although the house was heavily mortgage and he was behind on payments. The bike was however bought in cash and belonged only to him. The price of the bike would have paid off most of his bills and his funeral so I had planned on selling it. His best friend R had the bike in his possession because he was given the keys by my Dad’s GF M (of 4 weeks). He died after riding his bike and she was with him at the end. She gave R the keys thinking he would park it in my Dad’s garage because she didn’t know how to ride. I was ok with this at first because I trusted her and him. As his eldest child and the only one he spoke to it was all left to me plus his sisters to gather the funds to do what needed to be done. R knew this. From the beginning I told R that I had no funds my self and needed to sell the bike plus his other cars that were used and not in good condition to pay for everything. I also want to say that his friends and R did raise money to help and my mom’s family helped plus his sisters but it was still not enough. I had to borrow a large sum of money in order to keep from loosing the house and to pay for his services bills extra. All my dad’s possession were left to me as my siblings were not interested and never helped with funds or anything. Now I am left with a pile of my Dad’s bills, his house that is still mortgage to hell and no DAD who was my anchor really. Since the services R and M have apparently gotten together and no longer speak to me. They refuse to answer my calls or return the bike that is still in R’s possession. It appears that M told R that my Dad wanted him to have the bike and now he claims that the bike is his and I should stop harassing him. I only text him to return the bike so I could get it sold to pay for the services because the funeral home gave me a deadline. He said he was going to return it at first but never told me when and when he set a date to drop it off he never showed. This continued for months. But I only texted him 5 or 6 times in 4 months and I stopped calling after he stopped answering. I tried to reach out to his friends or family to get him to meet with me because at first I was clueless because R just stopped talking to me and never told me why. I had to borrow the money for the services but am still dealing with all the other debts. I don’t know if what M said was true as she does not speak to me or anybody in my family anymore. No will was left and R has no legal right to the bike. AITA for wanting him to return the bike so I can sell it in order to pay my Dad’s bills and to keep my family home. Thank you
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called R so he could return the bike, I told his friends that he wont return the bike and I called him a thief and if my dad truly truly wanted him to have the bike am i being fair to my dead father. I guess.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Dude, report it stolen and get it back.
You should probably contact an attorney. I know it might not be in your budget but something as small as a demand letter on firm letter head sent to this “friend” would do you some good. A real friend of your dads wouldn’t steal his bike and leave his kids hanging plus start dating his former girlfriend
Sounds like you need to report it stolen. You could give him a heads up and say if it isn’t returned by X date, you’ll report it stolen. Make sure you have the title.
The bike is part of the estate. That needs to be handled by an estate attorney to determine what goes where and how debts are settled.
That bike is currently stolen property, and i believe you can proceed legally. Dont bother trying to talk to him. He has shown you what he plans to do and obviously has no intention to return it. Call the police.
It’s stolen at this point, report it as such.
NTA
Have you open probate for your Dad’s estate and been named executor?
Go to the police. Provide them with a copy of your Dad’s death certificate, the bike registration in his name, and the probate papers naming you as executor or administrator of the estate. Tell it has been stolen by an acquaintance who refusing to return it.
Talk with an attorney, like you should have weeks ago. Assuming you’re the executor of your fathers estate, you should be able to go to the dmv with the letter of testementary or small estate affidavit and get the title placed either in your name or the name of your father’s estate. Do that soon, before a false mechanics lein or storage lein is placed on the bike.
Not at all. You’re absolutely not the asshole here.
That bike legally belongs to your dad’s estate meaning you, not his girlfriend or friend. R and M are completely out of line for keeping it. You’ve handled things calmly and reasonably, and it’s awful they’re taking advantage of you while you’re grieving. You should definitely look into small claims or get legal advice to get the bike back.
Call the cops and blast them on social media. Stop being nice about it when they don’t give a fuck about your problems.
Small claims court. NTA. Unfortunately the estate is too small for probate but once everything else is settled take him to small claims. Keep documentation of everything that indicates the bike is not his, belonged to your dad only, and wasn’t the girlfriends to give away. Who is the bike registered to? Do you have the title or deed to it? Hang on to that, and have it transferred to your name if you can.
Others are advising you to open probate. If the estate is worth under 184k there are speedier and more affordable options. Please look into those. Probate freezes assets and locks them up until everything is sorted which can take 6-12 months.
You need to follow the other excellent advice given here in getting the bike back. But you also need to be careful about paying the bills. Generally bills die with the person so it is not on you to pay them out of your own pocket. There are exceptions and if it impacting the family house you may need to do things differently. I’d suggest (as others have) talking with an attorney. It might actually save you money. NTA.
When you give someone a vehicle, you give them a signed over title. Anything else is a “ one of these days this will all be yours “ promise and has no meaning. It’s your bike unless there is something in writing to the contrary
NTA.
First: report it stolen. They have no right to it. Even if your father didn’t leave you bills to pay and you were 100% on board, they can’t just keep it. That’s not the way inheritance law works when it comes to vehicles or real property. (On places that I know, etc, standard disclaimer.)
Second: see if you can get a free consultation with a probate lawyer. There’s a process to these things and, in some places, a timer that starts ticking for how long the debtors have to file after death. It’s different depending on jurisdiction, but you may not be responsible for his debts beyond the mortgage and funeral (and that’s assuming you intend to keep the house for a long period of time; it may change if you plan to sell).
The fuck? Report it to police as stolen, get back the bike ASAP.
NTA
As many others have mentioned, get the title (if you can not find it, maybe you can go to the DMV/MVD to get a copy). Assuming your dad’s name is on the title, the motorcycle is then part of your dad’s estate, and in the absence of any will, that means you will inherit it.
So, again as many others have mentioned, after you verify the title is in your dad’s name, call the police and report it as stolen property.
I HAVE THE TITLE ITS IN MY DAD”S NAME . I know the legal hoops to jump through most cost money that I cant spare right now. I was really hoping I could reason with him. I just wanted to understand if I am in the wrong for not taking into account my father’s last wishes MAYBE. This person also scares me and my family wants me to drop it because they think its not worth the aggravation.
I don’t understand why you didn’t report the bike stolen when he refused to return it the first time? I have to wonder if he’s sold the bike? WHERE is the actual title to the bike?
Report it stolen.
Phone police, its not that hard.
Send a text message right now to both M and R letting them know tgat they have 24 hours to return your dad bike in good condition, no scrtach as when they took it or you will report it stolen without further notice, naming them both as suspects.
If the bike is not return after 24 hours, follow through. Go to the police and file a stolen bike complaint naming them both as suspects. Give the police all details you have about the 2 of them and the bike ownership and condition when they took the bike
NTA
NTA at all. Im so sorry for the loss of your dad! You need to follow the law according to where you live. If he wasn’t legally married at the time of his death, and you’re the only child, you’re likely the rightful owner of the bike. Call the police. If you live in the USA, you may need a copy of the death certificate and the deed to the bike, but it shouldn’t be complicated to at least get it back in your possession. I hope this all goes more smoothly for you so you can move forward with peace in your life.
NTA at all
Talk to a lawyer.
Generally though if you are the next of kin and the bike was in your Dad’s name, it’s then your bike.
If your Dad had a will an executor will be named, if no will it is next of kin.
The executor must make sure arrangements and bills are paid for first.
And, if M gave it away after your Dad passed, and she is not executor, it was theft. If she was executor, then she failed to do her obligations properly and you may be able to surle her.
The friend may be in possession of stolen property. In which case you can get it back.
How can he get insurance if its not in his name?
Rules are different depending in location, so go see a lawyer who knows about such things.
I have not open probate as yet. Lack of Funds and lack of interest from my siblings to help makes it a lengthy process. I was told at first that I couldn’t report it as stolen as the keys were given to him by the girlfriend. Also I did not know anything about him. At the time I didn’t know his name, address or anything about him. I was also going through a massive depression. Now I am out and trying to remain sane. All my focus has been on trying to keep my family home so I don’t end up on the streets. But to all the knowledgeable people can I still report it as stolen with just the title and death certificate, as I said earlier my family wants me to drop it. They think its not worth the stress.
Report the motorcycle as stolen
Where is the title to the bike? If you have the title, report it stolen. If you don’t have the title, you don’t have much legal ground to stand on
This is beyond AH territory and into the land of felony. R has stolen your bike. Presumably the title is still in your dad’s name. Time to call the sheriff.
Police, and small claims court!
You have no choice, but to report it stolen. This is not right you should not be shouldering this burden. If you wanna give his friend a heads up on what you will be doing cool but you need to report that thing stolen like yesterday.
The bike belongs to neither of them, call the police
Report the bike as stolen, but also know that you are not responsible for any of your father’s debts unless you were also on the accounts.
Message R and tell him he can buy the bike for X price within 5 days or you are going to report it stolen. Tell him he has 2 days to respond to
Your offer. If he doesn’t respond in 2 days, call the cops and report it stolen by R.
NTA, his gf had no right giving something away that didn’t belong to her.
Since you asked for it to be returned and still haven’t received it, I’d report it to the police.
YOUR DAD’s BILLS ARE NOT YOUR BILLS. You cannot inherit debt.
Creditors can go after his estate (which unfortunately includes the motorcycle, which does complicate things), but they can’t go after you.
Some good advice already in this thread. Do what you need to get the bike back, sell it, use the money to pay funeral costs and then any outstanding debts your dad had, in full or in part. Once HIS money is gone, you will not legally owe anything to anyone. (IANA lawyer. You should probably consult one to confirm or deny what I’m saying.)
You are absolutely NTA, and I’m sorry for your loss.
I dont really follow this whole thing as a GF has no claim to the deceased’s assets…period. No common law scenario in effect as only 4 weeks relationship. Children & ex-wife / mother of children and brother / sister / parents (OP’s grandparents) can all step in. Verbally saying the deceased wanted XYZ to happen is all hearsay. Lawyer up.
Wait, your dad gave his motorcycle to his girlfriend of four weeks as opposed to his own son? That’s fucked up bro. If he didn’t and his GF just took it then it’s been legally stolen since the inheritor would go to his next of kin…which is you. NOR.
Like Active and others said, file a stolen vehicle report. By law that motorcycle is part of your Dad’s property and will be used legally to pay his debts off. File a report, give the police all the information including your dad’s death, who has the bike, who gave it to him and where he lives. They know what they are doing is illegal, they’re no more than vulture like carpet baggers that flock to someone’s passing hoping to get something for nothing.
NTA, but you need to talk to a probate attorney to help you settle your father’s estate. Search around for a will. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. A simple piece of paper with his wishes and signature. If there is none, it probably makes things easier if you’re his only heir. The probate attorney can help you determine what to do with the house (I’d sell it to settle the estate) and any other property like the motorcycle.