I39m have an 18 year old daughter and a 14 year old from my previous marriage. I remarried 7 years ago to my wife31, and she’s pregnant with our first child together (her first child.)
My 18 year old was pregnant and ended up delivering the same day as my wife unexpectedly. I ultimately decided to be in the room with my wife, it is her first time doing this, I wanted to be there for support and witness my child being born. My daughter already had her fiancé and mother in the room, and I wouldn’t be in the delivery room anyways.
I thought this would be an easy enough decision, til after my child was born and I had several spam messages from my ex wife how I am a horrible father, and chose my wife over my children, how a woman my wife’s age could do this alone, but our daughter is young and scared. I went to see my grandchild a little later on that day, and my daughter was upset at me too making remarks like “oh now you want to see her?”
My wife now feels guilty and says maybe I should have been there for my daughter, but I feel like the choice was clear. AITA?
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I39m have an 18 year old daughter and a 14 year old from my previous marriage. I remarried 7 years ago to my wife31, and she’s pregnant with our first child together (her first child.)
My 18 year old was pregnant and ended up delivering the same day as my wife unexpectedly. I ultimately decided to be in the room with my wife, it is her first time doing this, I wanted to be there for support and witness my child being born. My daughter already had her fiancé and mother in the room, and I wouldn’t be in the delivery room anyways.
I thought this would be an easy enough decision, til after my child was born and I had several spam messages from my ex wife how I am a horrible father, and chose my wife over my children, how a woman my wife’s age could do this alone, but our daughter is young and scared. I went to see my grandchild a little later on that day, and my daughter was upset at me too making remarks like “oh now you want to see her?”
My wife now feels guilty and says maybe I should have been there for my daughter, but I feel like the choice was clear. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I missed the birth of my grandchild for the birth of my own child. My ex wife was furious at me, and my daughter was angry too. I may be the ah because it is my grandchild and my daughter is my daughter.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I feel like this is a no brainer. Her baby’s father was there to support her, you went to support the mother of your child who was giving birth. They’re all just nuts if they’re actually mad about this. Did they want you to split yourself into 2??
NTA can’t be in two places at once, you wasn’t going to be in the delivery room anyway with your daughter and you absolutely should have been with your wife. Sounds kinda like mom told daughter to be upset, how would she even have known how long you were or were not in the waiting room?
There is no true answer here, dammed if you do dammed if you don’t. And you can’t change the past anyways so you should spend as much time with your daughter and granddaughter now and apologize non stop to try and fix it
No, no, no. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. You were there for your wife. You ex-wife is giving you unnecessary grief. NTA.
You are not the AH. Your responsibility should go to your partner first. She has a support system, the father of her child & her mom. What’s her relationship like with your new wife? This just feels manipulative. Congratulations on your baby & grand baby.
NTA
NTA for choosing your wife under these circumstances.
I wonder what the circumstances of your divorce were that they are behaving like this. Let’s say if you cheated with your current wife that might explain unreasonable behaviour of your ex, and the daughter. B/c yeah, they are being super unreasonable.
Congrats on the baby and grandbaby.
NTA
Hopefully your daughter will understand how absurd it is to leave someone who has no one there when they give birth. Your daughter had her mum and fiance, your wife only had you.
This is absurd treatment and your wife should know that is insane for them to expect u to leave your wife alone.
NTA sounds like there’s a reason your ex is your ex. She is proving that with the guilt trip.
You’re not the asshole.
You were exactly where you needed to be supporting your wife during childbirth. Your daughter was safe, supported, and not alone. It’s understandable she felt hurt in the moment, but that doesn’t make your choice wrong. Both births mattered, you just couldn’t be in two places at once.
Nah man, you made the right call. Your wife was literally giving birth to your kid for the first time of course you had to be there. Your daughter had support already. She’s emotional and hurt right now, but she’ll get it later. You’re not the villain here, just caught in the world’s worst timing.
NTA
NTA. You should be there for your child’s birth. You would have been in the waiting room anyway. Ask your daughter if her boyfriend was in the same position, would she prefer he would have not been there for her? Try and fix the relationship with your daughter the best you can so she doesn’t hold resentment from her new sibling. Congrats.
NTA ignore your ex wife and talk to your daughter when she isn’t freshly postpartum
NAH
You were in an impossible situation and no matter what choice you made, someone was going to be upset. All you can do now is show up for both of them.
Nah you’re not the asshole. You were where you needed to be. Your daughter had support, and your wife was literally giving birth to your kid for the first time. It’s just bad timing, not bad parenting.
Sooo does anyone actually have their father in the room? Minus like if that’s your only parent?
Or is it usually mom/mom figure
And father of new child?
At what age are you supposed to be okay to birth on your own? Your wife was birthing your child, she was your absolute most priority. Your ex sucks and your daughter sounds way too immature to be birthing and raising people. NTA, congratulations anyway.
what is it with the audience at childbirth? Nobody does this here afaik, it’s just the mother and father and the midwife and doctor (if needed). If the mother wants she can of course ask somebody else to be present but I’ve never heard of anybody do that. And NTA of course! You would have been TA if you left your now wife alone with the birth of your youngest.
NTA. Sorry, not sorry, but the birth of your child trumps anyone else’s. Period. Even if it’s your first grandchild.
Your new child > grandchild
You can very easily do both in around the same time period. I wouldn’t get too caught up in a day or two.
Perhaps there are some underlying issues between you and your daughter that you need to work through?
NTA – your daughter had her husband and her mother. Your wife needed you.
Tell your daughter to grow the hell up and be a mother unless she wants to end up like hers
Real big for your ex to say you chose your wife over your child. Your wife, who was, actively giving birth to your CHILD. I’m sure your ex would’ve been just delighted had you left her to give birth alone if she was in this position.
NTA.
You’re not the bad guy here. Your wife needed you during her first birth, and your daughter already had people with her. It’s just bad timing, not bad parenting. She’s hurt right now, but once the emotions cool off she’ll get why you made that call.
You did chose your child. The very tiny one. You know, the newborn. Your ex and daughter are wrong here and they know it. Also 99% of all places only allow two people in the room.
NTA
NTA.
Difficult choice, but correct one. Your daughter had already two people in the delivery room, you probably wouldn’t have been allowed there.
Double congratulations.
I tip my hat to you sir. If I’m fortunate to live to 139 I hope I find a 31 yr old wife as well.
NTA.
Of course you were with your wife.
Your ex is using some… complicated mental gymnastics to get where she was.
Just message her back and say “so if it’d been you in labour, you’d have still said I should be in the other room?”
Talk to your daughter away from your ex. Ask her seriously (not angrily, even though I get how easy it would be to lean that way) how she’d have felt if her fiancé had been in a different delivery room, and if she really wanted you to leave your wife alone when you knew she had her fiancé and mother with her.
Answering this without further context on your relationship with your daughter is a bit difficult. It’s easy to throw out a NTA verdict, but I have a hard time believing both ex wife and daughter would be upset at this if there wasn’t something else going on.
I don’t think you’re the asshole necessarily but I do wonder if there’s more at play here then what’s been shared.
NTA. You would be if it was the other way around. Your daughter and the ex are being very unreasonable.
You did the right thing. Maybe I am the AH, but I hate it when waiting rooms at hospitals are full of family members, two or three is fair, but when you have a family reunion with 10 plus people, it is unfair to other families in the hospital who can’t find a seat.
Your wife had only you and your daughter had her mom and fiance… so where is the problem? NTA !!
Why trying to ruin your day and wife’s birth? Don’t fall for the manipulation and fake narratives.. you did what any husband should do, be there for the wife! Congratulations!!
Lol wut
>My daughter already had her fiancé and mother in the room, and I wouldn’t be in the delivery room anyways.
NTA
Would it been ideal if you had been there? Yes, a 40ish year old man will have far more weight to advocate for someone. Yet, that was also the case for your wife, and at her age? Complications would be more likely.
It was a shit situation, but you picked the person that needed you the most.
Is it just me that didn’t want any person other than my partner any where near the delivery room? Having said that I have given birth alone at 30 (they sent my partner home thinking I wasn’t in active labour, I was, and within an hour I’d given birth, not his fault!) and it was a lonely experience (still wouldn’t want my parents in the room!), if my partner had missed it due to supporting some one else, I would have been very upset. Daughter had plenty of support with her, it was the right thing not to leave your wife alone. NTA
NTA who wants own dad in the room while giving birth? You are not a dad of her child.
NTA and no way in hell I would have wanted my father in the delivery room when I gave birth. So awkward.
NTA. It’s actually ridiculous that your daughter and ex don’t see the irony that someone giving birth would need a support person when your daughter apparently needed three of them. And you saw her the same day, that’s a lot given you helped your wife through labor and had a new baby of your own. Honestly it’s a bummer it couldn’t have been a Father of the Bride Part 2 situation where the births were in the same hospital.
If I had to guess I would say your ex took advantage of your daughter’s post-birth emotions (and she) and pushed her feelings for you into her to cause issues.
Congratulations on your new baby and grand baby and I hope things smooth over.
WTF? Why would you want to see your daughter give birth? NTA!
You might point out to your ex that your child was not alone while giving birth. She had her mother and her fiancé there. NTA
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NTA. You didn’t choose your wife over your daughter. You chose your new child. And then you went to be there for your daughter also the same day when most men wouldn’t have gone the same day as their new child was born. Sounds like your ex-wife got into your daughter’s ear. You wouldn’t have been in the delivery room anyway.
Jealous ex-wife, ruining her own daughter’s happiness to make a shot at yours. Sad.
NTA
NTA. The irony of your ex saying you should be there for your child. That’s exactly what you did! Parents should be at the birth of their children, but often see grandkids once they have arrived.
Your daughter had her fiance and her mom there. Your wife only had you there and would have been alone if you weren’t there. NTA
NTA, also OP I would look into hospital policy or at least call labor and delivery and ask. Most hospitals will only allow two delivery persons onto the delivery unit and they need to be the same two people. If this is the case it seems to me your ex-wife is just looking for any excuse to make you out to be the bad parent when in reality it would not have been possible anyway. I’m only suggesting this because when I did my hospital tours this was a pretty common rule for patient safety.
Your ex was pulling a power trip.
NTA, no f’ing way did I want or need my Dad in the delivery room.
NTA since your wife needed you.
Problem is now you will forever have to choose between both your children that’s what happens when you have an 18 age gap
NTA, you weren’t going to be in the room. You were in the room where your child was born. I get it’s your first grandchild but your wife needed you.
NTA, the obvious choice is to be there for your wife. Your wife shouldn’t feel guilty but I would give your daughter grace, she’s 18 and just given birth so ofc her hormones are going to be all over the place. She’s not wrong for wanting her dad there, it’s just really unfortunate that you couldn’t for obvious reasons. Let her come around.
Absolutely NTA. Whatever drama happened in your split from the mother of your first 2 kids, I doubt it warrants abandoning your wife during childbirth. Your ex is using this to drive a wedge between you and your daughter. I really don’t know if your daughter is selfish or just easily manipulated. Maybe both.
She probably has valid fears that you will forget about her now that you started a new family. It’s a tale as old as time. There’s clearly a lot more going on, and this just compounded it.
If I were you, I would be a bit offended. You can’t be in two places at once, and you shouldn’t be judged because you chose not to miss the birth of your child. They’re playing with you over this. Try to stay rational and not defensive when they act snide. I hope your daughter comes around.
NTA.
Where I am from is not even common for a father to be at the hospital when his own daughter gives birth to a grandchild. Maybe if the father were the only supporting person, but in this case he was not.
I suppose daughter and ex-wife are just mighty jealous of the new family OP started.
NTA you were there for your child, the one being born.
Why would you even be at the birth of your grandchild? Unless your daughter (the birthing mother) asked you to be there you have no reason to be.
Honestly I find this view of Labour being a spectator sport very strange
Your wife is giving birth to your baby no? So you’re also putting your child first.
Your daughter wasn’t on her own so your ex wife needs to cut her shit and stop her nonsense because your daughter is behaving the exact same way as her mother.
NTA You did the right thing.
NTA your daughter didn’t even want you in the delivery room. She had her partner to support her as well as her mum. Your wife had you.
She is far too immature to be a mother but here we are.
NTA — you’re generally only allowed 1-2 people in the delivery room anyways. You saw him after he was delivered. What would be the point of missing the birthing of your child to sit in a waiting room?
Which one of you let your 17 year old get knocked up? Because that one is the parent of the year! 🏆
NTA. This may be the first Reddit post where someone is upset about someone who had no role in the baby’s conception being absent for childbirth. (Obligatory “it’s not a spectator sport” goes here.)
You made the best decision under unusual circumstances. Everyone had support when they needed it the most.
At some point when life is less chaotic, your oldest daughter will hopefully realize you were where you needed to be.
It doesn’t help that it sounds like your ex is trying to intentionally create a new divide between you and your daughter when she could be a voice of reason having had children herself.
NTA I highly doubt your daughter would have wanted you there in the room whilst she was giving birth and, as you say yourself you would have only been able to stay in the waiting room. Meanwhile you absolutely would have been the AH to have left your new wife alone whilst she was in labour as, I am sure, she would have very much wanted and needed you there.
Your ex-wife is venting because, and I am afraid I am going to be a little controversial here because you have both massively let your 18 y/o daughter down by not counselling her well enough to not have unprotected sex and become a parent at such a young age and because your ex will probably now be landed with doing the bulk of the parenting for your new grandchild at a time when she should have been getting her own life back from the rigmaroles of parenting young children. You made a choice to start a new family but she’s had it forced on her by your daughter and her young partner.
NTA. This is your ex wife’s problem, not yours
NTA. You were there for your wife and your other new child. I don’t understand why they expect you to choose one child over another
NTA
Have a heartfelt talk with your ex wife, not anywhere near your daughter.
Ask her why she feels it’s in your daughter’s best interest to start drama, during her delivery.
Ask her why she, and the father of your grandchild for some reason could not comfort and support your daughter?
Why does her need to to make you the bad guy have priority over your daughter’s feelings?
There were 2 ppl in the delivery room with your daughter, along with the medical staff. What would you have possibly done, IF you had even been allowed inside the delivery room?
Of course you were right where you should have been.
Your wife expecting you to ‘choose your daughter over your wife’ is nuts, considering your wife would’ve been alone, while there wasn’t even room for you to support your daughter.
But it does make me wonder why this is the dynamic?
Did you choose your wife over your family, before you and your ex were divorced?
That would be the only explanation for why your ex wife would expect it.
Your screwed no matter what you chose, so ultimately in my mind NTA your 18 year old irresponsible choices a are on her , it’s in her
And we know why she’s an ex! You’re supposed to pick your wife! 😒 WTH is she thinking 😬.
I cannot get over how weird it is for sister Aunt LoL 😆. Tell the ex wife I said shut it up 😠! Disconnect and block the ex for a few weeks.
Congratulations for both new babies. Since ex bent her ear against you she can do most of the $ helping $ with the new baby And since you also have a new baby.
Same bday?!?! Good luck with that. Hopefully the ex gets her shit together. Those double birthdays are going to be a doozy if your daughter doesn’t stop listening to her rotten mother.
Your ex wife sounds toxic
Ntah. That is wild.
I’m so sure . . .
NTA – the gaslighting from your ex is real
Nta. You were of zero value in the waiting room of your daughter’s hospital. You couldn’t do anything if something happened. Your wife though…you were the support system and if anything happened you were the decision maker. I wanted to say “you have to put your child first” but one child is being born and one is giving birth. In this instance you pick the one that is the need more. Your wife giving birth to your new baby is the place you were needed more.
This is your ex trying to make you look bad. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Y’all need to get together and watch Father of the Bride Part 2
Also NTA
Yea you are the asshole like you screwed her up enough she is having a kid at 18 then you don’t even show up to support her. Starting to make sense
INFO: What happened before that OP?
I love my father to death and he was a single father for most of my life, and I would never ask my mom to be in the delivery room with me. Like never ever. But I am not sure I would ask my dad either (just if there are no other reasonable options like the baby’s father, a female best friend who also already had a baby). And honestly if my situation would be like that and we talked calmly about it, I totally would get that. The daughter has 2 supporting people and your wife 1 supporting person in the delivery room. I think there is more to it.
NTA
Considering your daughter was not alone, and had a parent, and hopefully her partner there, she was cared for. I think you made the right choice.
Your ex hates your wife and now has the perfect argument. NTA
Lose lose situation. Be there for your wife, sounds like you older kids have some feelings about the divorce and remarriage to work through
Your ex is stirring up drama. Your daughter was not alone she had her mom and her fiancé. You were where you should have been with your wife. You have nothing to feel guilty about and neither does your wife. Congratulations on baby and grand baby.
What in the father of the bride part 2 did I just read?
NTA. I’ve NEVER heard of a woman wanting her DAD to be in the room while she gave birth. That’s really weird.
NTA
Your daughter had her mom and fiancé with her- and your wife should have been alone? Bah! That’s ridiculous.
NTA! Congratulations on the new baby and grandbaby
You’re NTA but I think where you went wrong was not discussing it with your daughter before she gave birth. For such a major life event, why wouldn’t you have a conversation with your daughter about her needs? Perhaps if you had explained your side of things, she wouldn’t feel so abandoned and rejected. I realize your situation was unexpected. But did you call your daughter on the day and try to explain? I think you ex is absolutely wrong that you should have abandoned your new wife. But I think the missing piece here is COMMUNICATION.
NTA but I do think once the hormones and emotions calm down you need to talk to your daughter (alone) cause I think if you were to frame it to her in the way that she can relate to (ie have her put herself in your wife’s shoes) she will understand….assuming your ex hasn’t fully gotten to her
so much NTA. I’m sorry your daughter is hurt, but she now needs to be an adult and understand that you were where you were supposed to be.
Your ex is very much TA and a hypocrite. 1. No woman should have to go through childbirth alone. Your daughter had her fiance and her mother. She was supported, even by you. You still showed up for her, you still came to love your grandchild. The fact that your ex even suggested your wife give birth alone is disgusting af. 2. Your ex says your horrible for choosing your wife and not your child, but unless I’m misunderstanding anything, you were there for your child, just not the one she wanted.
Again, you are NTA, and your wife should not feel bad at all.
Parents are for the spouses not for their child, take care of your spouse first. NTA.
You were there for your child.
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Well, you’re not the asshole for this situation alone, but you’re the asshole for all of the poor choices you made before this. When you decided to start another family there is bound to be drama, this should have been foreseen. Someone always feels hurt in these mixed family relationships, usually the kids when they should come first. The ex wife is out of line, she should stay out of it. She’s probably disappointed that you routinely choose your new wife over your children you have together. This has been a series of disappointments from you, and this was the event that triggered a response.
there is simply no way this happened irl
Who wants their Dad in the delivery room? That would be odd.
Go by and drop off a gift and congratulate her of course, but seriously…..ex can blow it right out her backend.
You’re NTA op. I hope with time you feel this.
Birth is not a spectator sport. Who is in the birth room is who needs to be there for the mother’s medical care or emotional support. Your daughter had 2 emotional supports, her partner and her mother, the max allowed in most hospitals. Your wife had no one but you and was having your child. This was a no brainer.
The problem is that your ex wife used the opportunity to have a go, casting a normal decision to be at the birth of your own child as a parental failing. She clearly still feels competition and wishes for your wife to experience abandonment and struggle alone. That’s projection of her own hurts. Perhaps there’s some healing to be sorted there, an apology or acknowledgment.
And that your daughter harbours enough anger that she slipped right into it. Again, anger is the bodyguard, there is hurt and sadness behind and that should, if possible, be addressed.
NTA for this decision but it savours strongly of prior assholery.
Ask your daughter to put herself in your wife’s shoes. She had her fiance and mother in law with her. Who would have been with your wife if you had gone to be with your daughter who already had the right support?
Tell her to think about that independent of her mother.
I just gave birth to my third child at 35. Unless someone was dying (and maybe not even then) there is no good enough reason for my husband to not have been there. Chosing someone else over me and this new child would have been ground for divorce.
Your ex-wife and oldest are so unhinged too: is your new child not also your kid? And this one is underage if anything, so should be higher priority than any adult child.
NTA.
What? NTA! Choosing between age gaps can be difficult. Mine have an 8 year gap and we’ve had to do some maneuvering but I’d say being there when a child is born is a no brainer. I agree with previous posts suggesting you lay out some clear rules going forward. And I’d anticipate more drama from your ex and daughter.
Account age: 45 minutes
I’m sorry you’re stuck in this position, which may never fully resolve itself. I feel like it’s your bitter ex-wife fueling the fire. You absolutely did the right thing. Congratulations on the birth of your child.
NTA
NTA. Your ex is out of line. She is the reason your daughter is so upset. As long as your ex is beating that drum, I don’t think your daughter is going to “come around.” You need to have a serious sit-down with your ex and get her straight.
NTA
I will sound like a asshole for saying this. But I’m willing to bet your daughter will be having another child in less than 5 years
NTA sounds like the ex n d have some issues
“I was there when you and 14-year-old were born. Of course I would be there for the birth of baby. That is what a husband and father does, as your fiance did. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, but I can’t be in two places at once.”
NTA.
NTA
NTA. There’s only so many people per room anyway. You were with your child. Your other child is grown and has fiancé there among others.
It doesn’t matter what else is going on with your relationship with your daughter or ex. Your wife was giving birth and you were there as her husband and as the father of the baby being born. Your daughter was giving birth and guess what! Her husband was there for her. That’s the way it should go. NTA at all.
NTA
And who would have been with your wife who could make medical decisions in the event of an emergency?
Not every pregnancy and delivery has a happy ending.
What if your wife had become unconscious or unresponsive? What if there were issues with the baby and decisions had to be made?
Your daughter had people with her there who could do that for her, your wife and other child did not.
Reality isnt perfect. Life is hard and difficult and messy and inconvenient at times.
Side note: given the age gaps between these siblings do not expect them to wont. Not because of the birthing situation but because they are too far apart in age and your daughter has a child. It is just how it is.
However you have to be an active grandparent. Which is going to be hard because you have a newborn yourself. But you have to do it, if you dont want your daughter to resent you. Seriously do not let her down on this, you have to be a doting and fawning and attentive grandparent.
Absolutely NTA , the birth of your own child and being there for your wife / mother of such child in labour yakes precedence. Age of labouring mother has nothing to do with it, and for you to be very involved in your daughter’s delivery session seems a bit weird to me tbh, is that something that would be normal and expected in your culture? Def not where I’m from.
I have given birth myself several times, (with and without Father of Baby present), I have ex husbands as well as daughters who hopefully one day will have children of their own. What a wacky accusation to throw at you. Nah, you were where you were supposed to be, your ex wife sounds jealous and spiteful that you have another family without her.
NTA
Your daughter had support people with her. Your wife deserved the same.
This is not an age issue. It’s a divorce/ remarriage thing that obviously some of your family hasn’t dealt with. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do to change that.
Congrats on the births of your child and grandchild!
You need to have a conversation with your daughter, without your ex-wife in the house. Part of the 18yr. old daughter’s comments may come from feeling like she’s being replaced by your newborn, but I’m betting most is from whatever poison ex is spewing. You haven’t told us how your first marriage ended, and I’m guessing that may also have something to do with the drama you’re dealing with now.
NTA your wife needed you and your daughter was well taken care of. Also as you state you wouldn’t be in the delivery room anyway.
NTA – your ex was just taking the opportunity to give you crap. Is it possible your daughter’s attitude was influenced by your ex?
NTA but it seems like this is going to be an ongoing thing with them be prepared for future fights. How did they get along before this?
INFO: What does your daughter say?
That’s all that matters. She had her mom and baby daddy with her, I doubt she wanted her dad in there with her.
This is an ex wife problem, not a daughter problem. I’d honestly be amazed if any woman wanted her dad looking up her business end while she grunted out his first grandchild. Your ex is having trouble processing her own jealousy, that’s all.
NTA. Your daughter had support from her fiance and mom. It would be ridiculous to skip the birth of your child for this. And you weren’t even going to be in the delivery room? Your ex is just bitter, I’d ignore.
Fake
NTA, Your daughter needs to grow the heck up. FAST.
imo NTA, what does your daughter say?
your ex is biased and not one of the two people (your daughter and your wife) whose opinion and feelings are relevant. impossible decision but this way neither was alone. you wouldn’t have been in the room with your daughter anyway
Ask this to your daughter (no need to communicate at all with your jealous ex) “Would i have been in the delivery room with you?” When she says no, ask her “So you wanted me to miss the birth of one of my children to wait in the waiting room? How exactly would that have helped you?”
NAH here. Are your trailers next to each other, or do ya’ll still live with your parents?
NTA
Birth of child takes precedence
NTA. First, your daughter had her partner and mother with her. Second, usually you are only allowed to have 2 support people with you. What were you supposed to do? Sit outside and wait, while your wife is giving birth somewhere else on her own? Third, if I were the one giving birth, I’d find it very strange and weird, if my father was in the same room as me. And fourth, I’d also be very upset, indeed, is my husband were anywhere else than by my side.
NTA- she had plenty of support. You ex is just using this moment to get up on her mom high horse. Would you have been there otherwise? Yes, of course. The truth is, you are remarried, your daughter is an adult. She chose an adult action( having a baby), there are consequences. If that means you are not the kid here, it is what it is. I know you would have loved to split yourself. Unfortunately she is not first in your needs, for that moment. Your ex can suck it 🤷♀️
NTA. You were in a tough spot and you made a tough call.
Your daughter had a support system around her, but it sounds like your wife did not. I think you made the right call, but your daughter is still allowed to be upset
Just apologize, and hope that it blows over given some time.
Sounds like they all need to sit down and watch Father of the Bride part 2
So let me get this straight- they wanted you to sit in the waiting room and wait while your daughter gave birth, and you said no, I’m going to be IN THE ROOM with my wife while she has our baby, and they have a problem with that? That is so dumb. Of course you did the right thing. You wouldn’t have been in the room supporting your daughter even if you’d been at the hospital for her. It sounds like they just want something to be mad about. You did the right thing. NTA
Wait so your daughter had 2 people in the room with her, ok and your wife just had YOU. I would be super petty and point that out to them, and call them out on their BS. Remember two can play that game. It’s a big NTA for you, YTAH for your ex and daughter.
your wife would be a lot more upset than your daughter will be
is there some other context missing or…?
Your daughter had other loved ones with her, your wife didn’t. You were where you should have been. NTA.
NTA!!! I hope you can celebrate your grandchild with your daughter and have a deep relationship with them. But not being with your wife at delivery — not even an option.
Congrats on both births
Not even a second thought NTA. Sounds like ex wife and daughter are jealous you moved on. You would not have even been in the same room and your daughter had her partner and mum AND you visited that day. Your wife needed you. Your daughter is grown now and having her own babies. Your wife and newborn needed you. If anything had happened you would have has decisions to make. Ignore your ex and enjoy your time with wife and new baby.
NTA. You were exactly where you were supposed to be. The irresponsible 18 year old had her mom there. Your wife needed you. The 18 year only wanted you and probably just to spite your wife
NTA not only your daughter was careless enough to get pregnant as a teen but she had both her fiance and her mom during the delivery. Your wife was owed having her husband attend the birth of her first child. Insane reaction from your ex and daughter.
I see why your ex is your ex.
NTA. You were there for your newborn child. If something were to happen to your wife, and medical decisions needed to be made, she needed someone there. It’s not that you left your daughter without anyone, she had her fiance and mom and you couldn’t have even been in the room. I am sure that your plan was to be there for each of them, and if they would have been on different days you would have.
Definitely NTA. This is nobody’s fault that they delivered the same day, and I hope soon it will be a cute family story to tell your close ones. The end.
NTA. However your ex wife is a huge one. Jesus, your WIFE was giving birth to y’all’s first child together. Not only that but I’m guessing your wife just had you there. While your daughter had not only her fiance but her mother. Even more so NTA seeing how you wouldn’t even have been in the room while she was giving birth. This was your wife’s first child. She deserved to have you in there with her. Neither one of y’all have anything to be sorry for. You even made sure to be there to see your granddaughter the same day she was born. I would bet anything your ex wife is the only reason your daughter knows or is upset about you not being there. You can either call them out on it or you can just ignore it until they quit being/acting ridiculous. Congratulations on yall’s new baby! & of course your new granddaughter.
NTA your ex-wife is most likely making you the bad guy. Just remember your daughter just went through a lot and will be hormonal after having a child, she will forgive you. Your wife should not feel guilty. Your daughter was not alone.
I think the ex wife whispered in your daughter’s ear about this to weaponize it against you. You’re NTA, but your ex is.
Nta