Ok, to make one thing clear, these are NOT my best friends at my old school. They have many other friends who they are much closer with, so me leaving does not make them friendless.
So, in my city there is a very, very prestigious and selective school that goes from 7-12. You have to take a challenging test, and I was originally put on the waitlist for the school. Anyways, when school started, after my first day at my old school, I was accepted off the waitlist. I was overjoyed, and I knew my friends would be somewhat mad/sad, but I thought that maybe they would be partially happy for me, and for the most part I was right. Most of my friends were actually really nice, but two of them were the exact opposite. When I told them, they said that I was super mean for leaving them, that I didn’t deserve my acceptance, and that I was going to hate it. I understand why they would be mad, but they were just so furious at me. They were confused why I liked the other school more (I was being bullied at my old school, which they apparently didn’t know) and I was slightly confused from the difference of my other friends reactions.
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Ok, to make one thing clear, these are NOT my best friends at my old school. They have many other friends who they are much closer with, so me leaving does not make them friendless.
So, in my city there is a very, very prestigious and selective school that goes from 7-12. You have to take a challenging test, and I was originally put on the waitlist for the school. Anyways, when school started, after my first day at my old school, I was accepted off the waitlist. I was overjoyed, and I knew my friends would be somewhat mad/sad, but I thought that maybe they would be partially happy for me, and for the most part I was right. Most of my friends were actually really nice, but two of them were the exact opposite. When I told them, they said that I was super mean for leaving them, that I didn’t deserve my acceptance, and that I was going to hate it. I understand why they would be mad, but they were just so furious at me. They were confused why I liked the other school more (I was being bullied at my old school, which they apparently didn’t know) and I was slightly confused from the difference of my other friends reactions.
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> I left some friends at my old school to go to a much more rigorous, academic school. That might make me the asshole because I left that school.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You don’t need those kind of friends in your life. Forget about them and go enjoy yourself at the school you like. NTA.
ETA: Read up on crab mentality, you are sure to recognize those “friends” in it…
You’re totally fine for going. They’re mad because they’re losing someone familiar, not because you did something wrong. You got into a great school, that’s a huge win. Real friends would be proud, not guilt-tripping you. Go chase that opportunity and let them be salty in peace.
NTA! Those friends saying you don’t deserve it are probably way down the wait list or failed the entrance exam. You will find this as you excel in studies. They are just jealous of you. Go get your best education and change the world.
NTA. Real friends will want what’s best for you. It’s selfish to try to hold you back and guilt you into passing up a great opportunity. Don’t let their negativity influence your decision.
True friends will be happy for you. Losers want you to stay with them at their level. Do what is best for you.
NTA.
NTA I think you now know which of the people at your old school are actually your friends. Don’t give those two people a second thought and move on.
nta go to the new school you worked hard to get into that school…your friends will just miss you that is all
Way to go, you! By no means are you an AH. Go make more friends who celebrate all of you!
I don’t know what’s going on with your “mean” friends but you have to think of what’s good for your future. You don’t really leave true friends behind. If they are really your friends they’ll be there in the future. I know. I have had some of my friends for up to 70 yrs! NTA.
You’re not the asshole. You have every right to choose the school that’s best for you, especially if it’s safer and a better fit.
True friends will eventually understand and support your decision, even if they’re upset at first. Your future and well-being come first.
NTA, if those were really your friends they would be happy and support you in your decision. Go to the school you want to!
The people who aren’t happy for you aren’t really your friends anyway.
Definitely NTA! Onwards and upwards. Real ones will stay in touch.
Enjoy your new school and new friends!
They’re jealous. You’re good. NTA
Translation: “Hey, we’re REALLY insecure and SUPER jealous, so we’re gonna be mean!”
True friends would be happy for you.
Pay them no mind – you earned this.
Good luck at your new school.
NTA.
NTA. And find and watch “American Graffiti”.
NTA. Friends can be disappointed you won’t be around as much but should ultimately be pleased for you that you got this opportunity you wanted. They are not too real friends. Luckily others have reacted properly! And you are about to meet a whole school of potential new friends so you won’t miss the 2 that are not able to be happy for you.
Them being mean is a sign that your leaving is the right decision. I wouldn’t want to spend any more time with these friends/enemies. Go forth and be selective with your future friends, and stay in touch with only the good ones.
I have some loose wire where any tiny change in my life triggers my brain telling me dumb things like “my friend is choosing over me. Maybe they don’t even like and it’s just an excuse to get away from me because I’m secretly so terrible they have to escape and lie about it. Oh no oh no boo hoo.” Happens for everything from visiting their parents for a weekend when we could have hung out, to moving six extra subway stops away from me.
Now that I am a grown up, I know that people don’t have to prove their love by reassuring me every single second with their presence at my whims, and my second thought is always “STFU brain, you’ll be fine,” but this did take some training.
I didn’t lash out because I’ve always been pretty insecure about being “too much”, but I think a lot of people with this loose wire do. You don’t say how old you are but I assume pretty young. I don’t explain this potential cause to let them off the hook, just to explain a potential (stupid) perspective of why they feel betrayed. You do not have to work around their loose wires, they do. They are being entitled and not owning their insecurity. NTA.
NTA. Sweetie, you go to the school you want to. Those friends aren’t true friends if they’re taking your happiness away & making the situation about them. They should be happy for you, just like your other friends. I’m sorry they couldn’t be happy for you, hun, this is such a big accomplishment. Congratulations!
Jealousy is always an unattractive trait in people. You do what’s best for you.
NTA. Real friends are happy for you about getting opportunities in life. Take the opportunity and don’t worry about it.
NTA. Do whats best for you and your future.
But, you asked why, and I would say… they’re probably interpreting it as you thinking you are “better” than them, which is why you’re leaving. Especially since, as you said, they didn’t know you were being bullied and were confused about why you like the other school more. To them, they’re probably thinking “why is our school not good enough?”
But this is admittedly a generous interpretation. Unfortunately, kids will be kids, and kids act out childishly. If you have social media, I would suggest you post more frequently on it if you want a chance to stay friends with these people. More mundane things, so they don’t feel like they were dropped like a hot potato.
But, if not… then this is just the way things go, sometimes. Friendships come, friendships go. And you’ll make new friends at your new school if it doesn’t work out with them. Don’t let it get you down.
Edit: but you WOULD be the asshole if you start acting like you’re better than them because of this. The language you’re using makes me think you don’t believe that, or at least that you are considerate of it (old school, other/new school, not once did you say it was “better” except when you explained it was more selective and prestigious) but these comments make me nervous.
NTA. Leave them behind.
NTA. Go to your new school and make new friends. These people who are so upset at you are not likely to be instrumental in your life after school, but this school might open doors for you that you would not ordinarily have. Worry about your own future and stay friends with those who are happy for you, and don’t worry about the others.
They are not real friends if they aren’t happy for you.
Sounds like they’re jealous.
Something similar happened with me – got accepted to a more prestigious school and lost those friends, but I made new ones in school. NTA.