So, short into. I live with 3 guys (not including me obviously) that are all quite good friends of mine and we are all at the same uni and met in the same university society (hereafter referred to as unisoc) last year. This year two of them – Jake and Bob were elected to the unisoc’s committee, as the social secretary and treasurer respectively.
Now the actual situation. Yesterday first unisoc’s event of the year took place and the unisoc’s president was introducing the committee. After every introduction everyone clapped. When he got to Jake he said – “Jake is our social secretary and he is responsible for organising all our social events.” Here he made a pause before everyone started clapping and I managed to quickly joke: “He’s barely able to organise a cleaning day at our house.” A lot of people laughed, Jake including, but not everyone and then everyone clapped and I shouted something like “We love you Jake!” whilst clapping.
The next one was Bob, and the president went “This is Bob, he is out treasurer, responsible for financial matters of the society.” Same thing here, before people started clapping I said: “All unisoc money have been invested in our house.” People laughed again and started clapping and here again, whilst clapping I shouted “Bob I am your fan!”
The following day whilst sitting in the kitchen both Bob and Jake started telling me off for my inappropriate behaviour at the event, for interrupting during the president’s speech, and generally behaving like a an asshole and clown. I argued that they knew how I am, that I made those comments whilst the president made a pause in the speech, and that people laughed and everyone understood that it was a joke, that I am always sort of cheeky and cheerful, it’s not like I’ve been wearing a mask last year and now took it off, they always knew I am like that and that I am not really going to change. Nevertheless, they kept pushing saying that it was offensive making such comments during introductions in front of everyone, cutting off the speech and stuff like that. I eventually just agreed and said something like “Okay, it’s whatever you guys think” and apparently this phrase made them think that I got offended, and started saying “C’mon, you gonna get offended because of this?” whilst I wasn’t offended, I was just surprised. It really annoyed me that they told me off and when I explained myself and eventually just agreed with them they kept pushing me trying to make me feel guilty.
Also I want to add that I could anticipate Bob telling me off as he’s told me off before for calling him Bobby rather than Bob or Robert and giving him a bro hug in public, but Jake telling me off came to quite a surprise. I sort of understand where they’re coming from but I still feel like they have unreasonably labelled me an asshole for what I did. What do you guys think?
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So, short into. I live with 3 guys (not including me obviously) that are all quite good friends of mine and we are all at the same uni and met in the same university society (hereafter referred to as unisoc) last year. This year two of them – Jake and Bob were elected to the unisoc’s committee, as the social secretary and treasurer respectively.
Now the actual situation. Yesterday first unisoc’s event of the year took place and the unisoc’s president was introducing the committee. After every introduction everyone clapped. When he got to Jake he said – “Jake is our social secretary and he is responsible for organising all our social events.” Here he made a pause before everyone started clapping and I managed to quickly joke: “He’s barely able to organise a cleaning day at our house.” A lot of people laughed, Jake including, but not everyone and then everyone clapped and I shouted something like “We love you Jake!” whilst clapping.
The next one was Bob, and the president went “This is Bob, he is out treasurer, responsible for financial matters of the society.” Same thing here, before people started clapping I said: “All unisoc money have been invested in our house.” People laughed again and started clapping and here again, whilst clapping I shouted “Bob I am your fan!”
The following day whilst sitting in the kitchen both Bob and Jake started telling me off for my inappropriate behaviour at the event, for interrupting during the president’s speech, and generally behaving like a an asshole and clown. I argued that they knew how I am, that I made those comments whilst the president made a pause in the speech, and that people laughed and everyone understood that it was a joke, that I am always sort of cheeky and cheerful, it’s not like I’ve been wearing a mask last year and now took it off, they always knew I am like that and that I am not really going to change. Nevertheless, they kept pushing saying that it was offensive making such comments during introductions in front of everyone, cutting off the speech and stuff like that. I eventually just agreed and said something like “Okay, it’s whatever you guys think” and apparently this phrase made them think that I got offended, and started saying “C’mon, you gonna get offended because of this?” whilst I wasn’t offended, I was just surprised. It really annoyed me that they told me off and when I explained myself and eventually just agreed with them they kept pushing me trying to make me feel guilty.
Also I want to add that I could anticipate Bob telling me off as he’s told me off before for calling him Bobby rather than Bob or Robert and giving him a bro hug in public, but Jake telling me off came to quite a surprise. I sort of understand where they’re coming from but I still feel like they have unreasonably labelled me an asshole for what I did. What do you guys think?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 – I basically made 2 cheeky jokes, loudly, in public, during committee introductions, one of them quite mocking (at least one of them) and I generally was loud and cheeky. 2 – They argued that I interrupted the unisoc president’s speech whilst I said that I made the jokes during clear pauses in the speech right before people started clapping, their most important points were that I interrupted the speech and that the jokes were mocking them, and that’s why I am an asshole. Meanwhile I said that those were jokes that made people present there laugh, including the president, and that I have always acted like this and they seemed to be surprised and shocked by my behaviour.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA – don’t mask your attention seeking behaviour as being ‘cheeky’; you were a nuisance.
YTA
Just because „This is how you are” is not an excuse to make jokes at your friends expense during a formal meeting in front of strangers.
Why did you feel the need to put them down in a moment where their hard work was being recognized and acknowledged?
BOTH of them told you this was inappropriate and instead of apologizing you doubled down.
„Whatever you think” is not acknowledging of what you did, but rather reads as you sulking because your friends did not find your behaviour funny or appropriate.
Apologize. And don’t do it again
YTA. Interrupting the speech was rude, the fact that some people laughed doesn’t change that. And he made a pause in the speech to let people clap, not for comments
>that I am always sort of cheeky and cheerful, it’s not like I’ve been wearing a mask last year and now took it off, they always knew I am like that and that I am not really going to change.
If with “that I am not really going to change” you mean that you will continue to act like this at events that are important to the people you are heckling, you will face more cases of being told off in future, be it by friends, family, colleagues or future employers.
YTA. Grow up, listen to your friends when they call out your bad behavior. “That’s just the way I am” is not a defense. In case you need some language, you could have just said, “oh wow I am sorry that I upset you. I won’t do that again.” And then don’t.
You sound like an exhausting attention hog. YTA
Completely inappropriate behaviour. This event wasn’t about you, and it certainly wasn’t an opportunity for you to insert your stand-up comedy routine.
You say this is just who you are, and your friends know what to expect – that’s no excuse. Do you expect everyone else to tolerate your rudeness – the other committee members? The rest of the society?
At your age, you should have figured out that there’s a time and a place for certain behaviour and this wasn’t it.
YTA.
YTA – you dont have to lasso the spotlight from others. What worse is that you had a feeling this might bother one of your friends and your response to their feelings is to double down and say it’s who you are – never a valid response when you mess up…
YTA. Sounds like you’re the person who’s a lot less funny than you think you are. Those weren’t even funny jokes. That’s just being obnoxious.
YTA. Good job on undermining their new positions.
I mean, I laughed, but I can see why he’s pissed. Not ah level imo, but not the best move.
Stop acting like a dumbcunt and grow up. You aint cute
YTA You undermined them in front of university staff and implied they embezzled money. That could get them investigated and suspended pending the investigation. “That’s just how I am” is a childish response. You’re in university to learn how to be a mature adult. Start acting like it