hello! i’m a 17 year old girl, and i am quite confused.
so, this year my mom is finally taking my health (physical and mental) seriously!! i’ve had so many appointments lately. my hospital network has its own health portal with details about appointments and whatnot, but only my mom had the login.
i recently asked her for the login, and she was hesitant. “can’t i just have it? you’ll just be checking it every day.” she said.
“why shouldn’t i have it?” i asked. “I’m almost 18 anyway.” (for context, my birthday is literally next month.)
she gave it to me begrudgingly, which i just found kinda odd. is it not normal for teens to have access to their health information? i’m genuinely wondering. should i just let my mom handle that?
Comments
One of the problems with health portals is that they’re real time. So patients càn read their results prior to having a doctor review them.
Does your mom normally have issues with letting you make your own decisions or allowing you to be on your own? What I’m wondering is if she might have a bit of a helicopter mom syndrome, or some anxiety about you becoming an adult and becoming more independent (or, more accurately, less dependent on her). Her comment about you “checking it every day” tells me that she may feel, rightly or wrongly, that you’re a bit of a hypochondriac, supported by how she previously wasn’t taking your health needs as seriously as she should have. If you otherwise have a good relationship with her, I think it’d be worth having a serious heart-to-heart with Mom about her concerns, why she thinks you’d be obsessing over your medical records, and to reassure her that loosening the leash on you doesn’t mean you’ll bolt away from her at the first opportunity. This is especially so if you intend to move out soon, since that can be an especially difficult adjustment for both child and parent.
I don’t know your relationship with your mom though, so only you can really judge whether she’s being a controlling narcissist or an anxious mommy who isn’t ready to cut the cord yet, or something between, as well as how you’ll deal with her in that regard. What I can say is that it’s perfectly normal for a teen to have access to their own medical records, especially one on the cusp of legal adulthood.
Yes it’s odd. It’s literally your own records of your own body and I can’t think of anything that should be a secret to you or not accessible for you to see at 17.
It reads as your mom wanting to see something before you or have access to something you don’t. Is your mom generally dismissive of mental health? If you’re in therapy it reads as her wanting to keep things from you for whatever reason possibly to deny you need X or Y in the future when you bring it up. And I’m purely reaching and speculating in this last paragraph. But it’s definitely weird and I’m assuming she’s just controlling in general and is coming from a place of nosiness vs genuine care if I’m correct.
idk if it’s like a state per state thing but i thought once you turn 16 you can like start making your own medical decisions and don’t need a parent. like your doctor can’t tell your parents your medical info unless you want them too i might be wrong on something’s tho