I (35F) have this friend (38M) who I’ve known for nearly 10 years. We don’t see each other often due to distance but we speak regularly on WhatsApp.
He’s always been a bit scatterbrained and all over the place but recently over the past 4-5 months it’s become obvious that he just doesn’t give a shit.
He’ll ask me the same questions day in and day out “what did you have for your tea last night?” “what’s the weather like there?” but there’s absolutely zero follow-up or conversation about it. In fact, he has a bad habit of asking a question then disappearing for 6 or 7 hours then doesn’t even acknowledge my reply when he’s back online again.
He’ll ask questions he already knows the answer to- “you like historical dramas, don’t you?” when we’ve talked about the subject dozens of times before.
I have an elderly relative whose health is badly deteriorating. I’ve told my friend all about it, at length. But whenever we talk about said relative, he says “I hope they get better soon”. Like ???? They’re not going to get better. I’ve told you this a thousand times.
I’ve raised my frustrations with him before and he just doesn’t get it. He just says “oh okay”, and changes the subject.
I lost my rag today when he asked about my poorly relative again, and I explained how he took a funny turn and I’m so worried for him etc, my friend completely ignored my response and said “it’s your birthday next week, what have you got planned?” No empathy whatsoever for what I just said AND I’ve already told him what my birthday plans are.
I feel he just doesn’t listen or care about anything I have to say.
Do I try and get the message through again or is someone like this just a lost cause?
TL;DR My friend has stopped giving a shit. Should I block him?
Comments
I think this person is bored, so he writes. That’s why he doesn’t care about the answers, it’s just to pass the time.
I think you should leave this friendship in whatever way brings you the most peace. You are no one’s entertainment. And it’s such a one way street because I bet when they have a crisis you put a lot of emotional labor there that just never gets back to you when it’s your turn to go through something.
Yeah, you’ve said your piece and he’s shown he doesn’t care. You don’t owe him another explanation. Just block and move on. peace is better than forcing effort that’s never matched.