21M and 22F, together 4 months
My girlfriend and I recently had an argument after I caught her texting a guy she met on Hinge. She told me she had him added before she met me and that she’s just been feeling lonely lately. I’ll be gone for work in a few days, and she said she’s been looking for friends or someone to go to a party with since I can’t make it.
She mentioned that she would be going to the party in a group with her brother and some of his friends, but because I can’t go due to work, she wanted someone to tag along with them.
The way I found out was kind of by accident. We were watching TV together, and her phone was right in front of my face. I saw messages pop up from him that said “good morning,” “how was your day,” and had a bunch of smiley faces. I confronted her about it and asked if I could see the messages. She got defensive and said, “That’s how you make friends. I don’t want to be fake and boring.”
She told me she always says she loves me and calls me handsome every day, so she thought that should make me trust her. She said I don’t trust her even though she shows me love, and she called me insecure for wanting to see the messages. She also said it’s not emotional cheating — just her trying to make friends.
I told her I’m fine with her having guy friends, but it’s different when it’s someone she met on Hinge and when the messages seem flirty. To me, that crosses a line. I don’t want to control her, but I also don’t want to feel disrespected.
TL;DR: My girlfriend (20F) has been texting a guy she met on Hinge, saying things like “good morning” and “how was your day.” She says it’s just friendship and not emotional cheating, but I feel like it crosses a line. She called me insecure for not trusting her and for wanting to see the messages. How should I handle this situation without starting another argument?
Comments
Find a girl who doesn’t make you worry about other men, ever. You’ll never be there at all times to stop the other guys. She needs to have the good sense to know what is and what isn’t appropriate.
That’s pretty suspicious, I must say.
Are you guys actually a defined monogamous relationship, or you’re just typing “girlfriend” because you met her and having dates and all that?
Summarising, she felt alone so she downloaded a dating app, logic.
That’s not how you make friends. At best, she needs validation outside of you. At worst, they’re fucking already. Either way, she’s not it, friend.
Oh, and her words are projecting AF as well. Just cut bait, dude.
Ask if she’s cool with you chatting people on Hinge.
You handle it by leaving her
Bruhh!!
Runn barry runn.
My gf broke up with me 2 months ago saying I don’t treat her right and her so called “friend” does, and she got into a relationship after 3 days of breakup.
Well ofc because they were already in talking stage, and we had a huge fight because of that 3rd person.
Her exact words were ‘who is he xyz’, ‘why are you bringing xyz between us’, ‘he’s nothing but a friend and only friend I have ‘
We were in LDR, and she used to go with him everywhere, he was her office ” colleague “.
Then her audacity was saying that I deserved all this.
In her head she doesn’t even think she did something wrong LMAOO.
Remind you she was the person who used to say let’s get married, and I’ll never like any other boy in this life etc. etc all the crap and I believed her.. how stupid of me.
You need to put your foot down, my man.
Why is she still on a dating app when she has a man?
Her brother and other friends aren’t enough people to go to a party with? Bullshit, she just wants to meet the guy, maybe even fuck, who knows. She’s definitely being shady and borderline gaslighting you. A good morning message from someone on a dating app.. ask her to show you those messages or she can walk.
She’s looking for, if not already getting, some strange. Cut bait and run.
Looks like you two have different views on what you expect in a relationship. You might want to have a talk and figure out what else she thinks is ok, that you aren’t ok with. If you can’t reason with her from those approaches, it might be best to end it.
Bro, why she is on Hinge in the first place if she has a partner? That alone is sufficient for a break up. And here she wants to stay in communication with him, and wants to go to party with him when you are absent. She wants a stranger to tag along when she has got friends and relatives at the party. You know what that means, right?
The guy isn’t on Hinge to make female platonic friends and she knows that.
Kick her to the curb
She doesn’t love you. I’m sorry.
Yeah bro
She is caring.
For herself. She will just f u around for 8 years and then dump u when she wants to get married.
Omg I’m projecting. No.
She is ugly right.
And u still thought for a second u want to marry her.
Bro stop it. Go to the pub while u still have a shred of confidence.
Ur with the wrong one.
That other chick. The hotter one was the one.
When u see her again. Don’t leave without her digits.
Just say I’d love your phone number in my phone. Honest genuine
Bro screen shot this
I got u