I (22F) received AirPods as a birthday gift when I was in a previous relationship with my ex, over 5 years ago.
I was discussing with my current partner today (22M) about what types of earphones he prefers, when he had asked who got me my AirPods.
I was honest about it being a birthday gift from my ex partner, but expressed the earphones having no sentimental value or emotional connection to my previous relationship whatsoever, I simply kept them because they’re a practical, every day use item.
I told him how any personalised jewellery/gifts, lovey-type items, photos etc from my previous relationship were deleted and thrown out.
This all turned into an argument. He’s said “you keep gifts from your ex, I don’t.” I again reiterated that I have no emotional connection or sentiment to them, they’re just a pair of earphones. He said “yeah right”. We’re in a stalemate. His whole demeanour has now changed and he hasn’t talked to me for a few hours since.
I feel like he’s being unfair about this and also hypocritical, as he has actually done some things during our relationship that involve emotional connections with his past relationship.
AITA?
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I (22F) received AirPods as a birthday gift when I was in a previous relationship with my ex, over 5 years ago.
I was discussing with my current partner today (22M) about what types of earphones he prefers, when he had asked who got me my AirPods.
I was honest about it being a birthday gift from my ex partner, but expressed the earphones having no sentimental value or emotional connection to my previous relationship whatsoever, I simply kept them because they’re a practical, every day use item.
I told him how any personalised jewellery/gifts, lovey-type items, photos etc from my previous relationship were deleted and thrown out.
This all turned into an argument. He’s said “you keep gifts from your ex, I don’t.” I again reiterated that I have no emotional connection or sentiment to them, they’re just a pair of earphones. He said “yeah right”.
I feel like he’s being unfair about this and also hypocritical, as he has done some things behind my back during our relationship that involve his past relationship.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I have kept AirPods that were gifted to me from a previous relationship
Maybe I am the asshole for still using them?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your (should really be soon to be ex) boyfriend is being a little immature here in my opinion. This is a nothing burger of an argument.
I’ll say NTA here. If it’s that big a deal to him then he can buy you a new set of AirPods and problem solved.
He can buy a pair to replace them.
Then you can dump him, have two sets of AirPods and no asshole boyfriends.
NTA.
NTA he’s acting like a child
NTA. Even if was jewellery it would be fine. But AirPods are nothing at all.
NTA your hopefully new ex-bf is insecure and manipulative. Not speaking after an argument is not healthy. It is a major red flag 🚩
It is not wrong to keep gifts from past relationships.
NTA, your bf is truly immature. And this controlling/jealousy/anger/silent treatment is a bouquet of red flags.
NTA- Your guy sounds so immature , bitter, jealous , insecure. Basically everything sounds annoying about him. And being all that at ONLY 22 is wild.
Nah you’re fine. It’s been 5 years, they’re just AirPods not a love letter. He’s reaching hard if he’s mad over tech that’s probably been through multiple software updates since the breakup.
NTA
I mean I have a child from an ex, should I throw her out?? Your bf is jealous and immature. The fact hat you had to explain that there was no sentimental attachment to airpods is lunacy. Hid refusal to speak to you is emotional manipulation and that’s abusive. Dump him and move on.
He’s very childish NTA
Is he jealous or manipulative and controlling in other ways that you might not recognize? Because that’s totally what this is. 🚩 And totally unfounded.
Edited: forgot NTA
NTA they’re just Airpods. It’s been five years, they’re useful, and you clearly don’t attach any meaning to them. Throwing them out to sooth your partner’s insecurity isn’t reasonable.
If he can’t tell the difference between a practical item and a sentimental item, that’s a him problem. Not your fault.
Nta how expensive they are, no reason to throw them out. I wouldn’t be surprised though if they “disappear”
Your boy ITA. Your gift your item. Boys trying to control you that’s a huge red flag!
NTA Who in their right mind would get rid of a perfectly working pair of AirPods!!! Is he going to buy you a new pair???
NTA – even in the slightest. Your current boyfriend genuinely sounds like a pipsqueak. There’s zero emotional sentiment with earphones. The fact he’s giving you silent treatment over functional earphones while he’s done things involving emotional connections to his ex is pure hypocrisy. I don’t usually say this to couples but I’d genuinely consider leaving him, it’ll only get worse from here.
Your partner is just being petty in this, it is totally within reason to keep AirPods; why throw away expensive electronics that is fully functional? And as you say yourself, you have gotten rid of any personalised gifts and such.
NTA
NTA but your SO is insecure.
NTA. Even if you did keep other gifts from your ex, the fact that he hasn’t would be irrelevant. It’s just a ploy to manipulate you into feeling like you did something wrong (which you haven’t). You’re allowed to have your own possessions, and your own history. He does not get to dictate that. He does not get to be moody or start fights over something that is literally none of his business. This is a red flag, girl. 🚩 He’s telling you right now that he plans on being controlling. You should listen the first time. Dump him before he makes your life hell. (Also, make sure he doesn’t get a chance to break or “lose” your AirPods)
NTA
If he considers a set of airpods as “unclean” cause you got them from an ex, what other issues do he have?
A solution would be for him to buy you a new pair and not cry about it
NTA he’s being a dumb ass and needs to grow up
Unless the gift is intimate in nature or he is offering to pay to replace it, there is no reason not to continue to use useful gifts no matter who they’re from.
This is a major red flag for your current BF.
NTA
Time to dump the bf, NTA. I still have a Bose Wave radio my ex-wife bought me 25 years ago.
Nta, you’re dealing with a child
NTA and he should buy you a new pair if he can’t stand the idea of you wearing it, problem solved
🚩
NTA
This is 5 year old technology and not worth anything. I would say. A new version just came out and you can buy them for me as a replacement.
Add once they break I would throw them away.
NTA. People aren’t usually in the position to just go out and buy new AirPods. Your new boyfriend sounds like a dick.
NTA. Don’t allow him to emotionally manipulate you into giving up anything you have from previous relationships. It’s ok to have a different opinions in a couple if you are able to talk about it and hear eachother out. The fact he is ignoring you jow shows how immature he is. You should demand better from your partner.
This level of insecurity belongs in kindergarten
NTA. I have some very expensive gifts from my ex and I still wear/use them because I like them, not him.
This guy is insecure and should probably become your ex-boyfriend if he’s this bent out of shape about 5 year old AirPods.
NTA. I still have earrings the my ex-husband gave me for Christmas one year. We divorced in ’94. My current husband has absolutely no issue with it.
I’ve still got a clock that was given to me by a boyfriend in my teens, married and divorced now twice and I still have the clock
NTA I would end it if he’s this insecure and controlling, but if you are going to stay with him then tell him you have no problem getting rid of the headphones once he buys you a new pair
NTA
Tell him you’d gladly throw your current ones out once he gets you new ones.
NTA- He can buy you new ones if he feels this way.
NTA if true but incredibly similar story to this one.
Be glad you had the opportunity to see these red flags. Consider one last kind thing your ex provided haha.
Some things are simply practical AND expensive. I still have an ergonomic desk chair left behind by an ex because for a very long time that was an expense I didn’t want to pay to replace a perfectly good (after some staging) chair.
Your boyfriend has some issues. You also hinted that bf has been emotionally unfaithful. Think about if this is the life you want. NTA.
Edit for formatting because reddit on mobile does weird things with numbered lists.
It may be time to end that relationship.
NTA honestly it’s impressive that you’ve kept them without losing one for that long.
NTA. His level of insecurity and pouting would have me walking out the door.
NTA. It’s a pair of headphones, oh lord… This man is really a grown baby, ’cause what?