So I (19f) haven’t really been talking to my cousin (18f) lately. I’ll give you guys some backstory to this now my cousin has always been a bit of a me me I have it worse sort of person and a few months ago around July up to September my brother (19m) was in the hospital for his epilepsy and then all I see on her tiktok is like oh woe is me fnd is horrific which she has but has never talked about it before until someone else has something worse going on and then she needs attention. Anyways when something goes on with her when something bad is happening everyone always checks up on her and makes sure she is ok but she didn’t come to the hospital or even send him a text until I sent her a little hey have you checked up on him yet and she was like no but I’m going to have to and in my head I was like sure you will. She did text him but only because I told her to, she’s just been pissing me off lately and I honestly don’t want to talk to her anymore so WIBTA if I told her she’s a bad person and cousin?
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So I (19f) haven’t really been talking to my cousin (18f) lately. I’ll give you guys some backstory to this now my cousin has always been a bit of a me me I have it worse sort of person and a few months ago around July up to September my brother (19m) was in the hospital for his epilepsy and then all I see on her tiktok is like oh woe is me fnd is horrific which she has but has never talked about it before until someone else has something worse going on and then she needs attention. Anyways when something goes on with her when something bad is happening everyone always checks up on her and makes sure she is ok but she didn’t come to the hospital or even send him a text until I sent her a little hey have you checked up on him yet and she was like no but I’m going to have to and in my head I was like sure you will. She did text him but only because I told her to, she’s just been pissing me off lately and I honestly don’t want to talk to her anymore so WIBTA if I told her she’s a bad person and cousin?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I might be the asshole if I tell her she’s a bad person and cousin 2. She might take it as if I’m attacking her
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YWBTA. If you don’t like how she’s acting then just leave her alone. Do you really think it’s helpful to tell her she’s a bad person especially when that’s just your opinion. You don’t have to share everything with people just don’t interact with her until you have to. Let her live her life good or bad. It’s not your place to provide her correction.
Is it worth the family backlash and future hassles?
Just distance yourself. Delete on tiktok and move on with your life.
If you attack her she’ll just post on tiktok about cruel and toxic family members
YWBTA. You might not like how she is acting but calling anyone “a bad person” is too much. If you do not want to talk to her, just… don’t?
YWBTA. You can have your opinions on her behavior, but it’s not your place to tell her how to act, or that she’s a “bad person.”
If you don’t like the way she acts, minimize contact with her.
Ghost her. Reply in the family group chat/email/fb and if she emails/texts you directly reply to the group “Hey, cousin just asked about thing and I forgot to update everyone. So, anyway …”
Ywbta.
Just stay away from her.
You’re valid for feeling upset, but calling her a bad cousin might just cause more drama. Either talk it out calmly or quietly distance yourself.
YWBTA if you call her a bad person. I honestly believe that no one is ever completely bad or completely good. We’re all human beings just trying to get on in the world as best we can and even the best of us do silly things sometimes and the worst of us can do good things. You really can’t call someone a bad person and expect anything helpful to come from it. Don’t do it.
I can barely read this, feels like im having a stroke
YWBTA. Why not just continue to ignore her instead of using a hammer to kill a fly (so to speak)? Since she likes attention so much ignoring her would be the way to go. You don’t want anything to do with her anyway. If she notices and asks why, tell her, but telling her she is a bad person is not the way. She needs help to learn how to handle her condition, find a therapist that can help her with her it.
I get this is a stressful time for you and your family, but do you really think your brother wants you calling his cousin, who also has a neurological disorder, a bad person on his behalf?
We all sometimes have strong feelings and thoughts about family, usually it’s best to just keep those things to ourselves.
It depends how you tell her, it sounds like she takes any opportunity to play victim so I wouldn’t go in too hard. My advice is you distance yourself, she does not sound like someone you want or need in your life, causing drama would only backfire and would paint you as the bad person.
YWBTA if you said it like that. I get why you’re hurt and frustrated, she sounds self centered and dismissive when your family needed support. But calling her a bad person won’t fix anything, it’ll just make things worse. It might be better to tell her how her actions made you feel instead of attacking her character.
Are you having a stroke i cant read this at all
Don’t call her a bad person. Do have an honest and respectful conversation with her about her egocentrism.