Me (18 F) and my bf (20 M) have been together for a little over 3 1/2 years. A few weeks ago he flirted with a girl from his
recently developed friend group in a bar. He just started his fall semester of college and made this friend group as of this semester. He danced with her at the bar, but that was it (that’s what he told me). He told me he was very drunk and does not know why he did it, but he deeply regrets it. I believe him and want to forgive him. He told me two days after it happened, even though his parents advised not to tell me.
He then brought up his concerns about our future and about a lost spark. I was completely unaware of all of these concerns. We talked and came to the conclusion we still want to be together and work on making our relationship better. For example, going on more dates and doing more things together. It’s been about 3 weeks now.
Unfortunately, this situation happened at a very bad time. He left for basic training for the military 4 days ago. So I am struggling with my own thoughts and unable to communicate with him. I also want to be able to figure this out for myself. Basically, what can I do to try and get over this? I keep finding myself thinking about what he did and questioning things. Like is that really all that happened? Have things like this happened before? Is he telling me the full truth?
I truly do believe him, and I want to stop having these thoughts. I just need help figuring out how to get over this. I can’t hold this against him forever, that is not fair. I want to heal because I want to be with him. He says he wants the same. I told myself if something like this happens again, that I am done. I also told him that. He says it will never happen again. I am trusting that. I told him he needs to drink less, he agreed that is something he can work on. So, what can I do to help myself get over this and forgive him completely?
TL;DR – My boyfriend cheated, I want to continue our relationship and forgive him, what can I do to help myself get over this and fully trust him again?