I whisper “thank you” to my herbs before I use them, talk to my cat like she’s my familiar (because she is), and occasionally leave a cup of moon water out “just in case.” I’d be toast in the 1600s.
When I know someone really well, I can figure out what they’re about to do or say before they do it. I also have a very accurate intuition of when I’m about to get a text message.
Probably my vocabulary and the way I pronounce things and structure my sentences. Nobody in the 1600s spoke like this, and a lot of the words and phrases I use just won’t make any sense. They would say I’m talking in tongues or using devil speak.
I enjoy making hearty soups and stews in a large pot over an open campfire using locally sourced niche ingredients like bat wings, frog legs, eye of newt, etc.
I speak with animals all the time. They don’t talk back and I don’t think I make myself understood, but I don’t think the witch hunters would appreciate the nuances there
Not sure if it’s a tiny habit, but my last nose bleed lasted for hours and I started bleeding from my eye. Turns out I have an anatomical defect in the valve that drains the tear ducts down your nose. I’m certain if I was alive in the 1600’s, I’d be tied up in town square, in danger, for sure.
Owning cats, not having erectile disfunction, and not having the plague is enough by Maleus Maleficarum 1500s standards.
But for the 1600s the witch hunts were about people in positions of power committing real estate theft/fraud by seizing the property and wealth of “witches” so owning a house and a 401k would do it.
I’m a chemist for a living, which feels like modern witchcraft/alchemy anyway. I also probably get bonus points for being a woman with unruly curly hair and a black cat.
I talk to myself, every animal I come across, listen to blasphemous music, communicate with people instantly over long distances, wear a lot of black, float in water, and I’m a wrestler so far to aggressive for a regular woman, not to mention math, reading and writing.
I have a neurological disorder that causes me to have random twitches and movements. I’m a shoe in for the burning pyre, maybe not as a witch but as a possessed person for sure.
Comments
Basic math or floating on a river
Probably all the spell casting.
Not getting sick when people around you get sick
My phone
I whisper “thank you” to my herbs before I use them, talk to my cat like she’s my familiar (because she is), and occasionally leave a cup of moon water out “just in case.” I’d be toast in the 1600s.
I wouldn’t last a day in the 1600s
I’m a woman that can do math
Having any sort of opinion
I’m educated.
Reading.
I read ONE sign and suddenly “hoW diD yoU knOw tO tuRn riGht At tHis Path?”
when im alone i usually end up talking to myself
Burping and farting at the same time.
Probably the ability to read and do math. Might even just randomly make a history related comment and be labelled as the next Nostradamus.
Probably how quick I can read someone. How they think and how predictable they are.
Having a car
Being a loner
Staring into space.
Having knowledge
Wearing various stone pendants on my necklaces and various jewelry with snakes on them
I float around the house 6 inches off the floor.
Algebra, Calculus, Functions. Math solves all the problems.
I have a really friendly cat
When I know someone really well, I can figure out what they’re about to do or say before they do it. I also have a very accurate intuition of when I’m about to get a text message.
singing to myself and making silly made-up songs
During large storms I collect rain to make war water.
Arson
Dancing and moonbathing.
Owning property (as a woman)
Flying to work on my broom
Im a woman in medicine
Tap dancing
Literally anything as a woman.
I stop on walks to touch trees and speak to them
Crossing myself with 5 points.
I like to use essential oils
Using my phone
Turning my TV on with a remote control.
I’m a woman. Period.
I know things before they happen
Lmao…we are far beyond that homes.
Being Pagan now.
Having strong opinions and telling people to f*ck off.
I read tarot and natal/synastry astrology charts so…
I am a woman whose hobby is… cultivating psychedelic mushrooms. Really really good psychedelic mushrooms.
Drawing of a weird monsters
Cursing much
Tying a carrot nose to your face or weighing less than a duck.
Probably the witchcraft.
I talk to animals
I’m not really a people person, and I talk to a feral black cat who lives in my back yard.
Probably my vocabulary and the way I pronounce things and structure my sentences. Nobody in the 1600s spoke like this, and a lot of the words and phrases I use just won’t make any sense. They would say I’m talking in tongues or using devil speak.
sending energy thru runes made of precious metals and minerals to produce illusions and farseeings.
know, using phones etc
I am always just talking shit, they don’t take me too serious, only dumb
I pray on my own, directly to God, without going through a (male) religious leader.
Edit: plus, no matter how old I get, my hair never ever turns gray. Witchcraft!
Letting people know they’re wrong when they’re wrong. I dunno know why but people don’t like it, I appreciate it when people correct me. It’s weird
I weigh the same as a duck which means that I’m made of wood. Witches burn because they are made of wood. Thus, I must be a witch.
I enjoy making hearty soups and stews in a large pot over an open campfire using locally sourced niche ingredients like bat wings, frog legs, eye of newt, etc.
You sounds like that OTHER guy!!! You stole his soul!!!!
Worshipping Wotan and practicing magic
Singing to my black cat
Buoyancy 👍
Meditation
Wearing socks and sandals
That i do witchcraft
I do this weird thing where I trace my fingers, or sometimes just my finger tips, with my thumb in patterns. It probably looks like sorcery.
That’s a misconception.
All the naturopathic remedies I use
In true Reddit form: being an atheist and not going to church.
Continually cracking my knuckles
Being a feminist. 💋
I have boobs and occasionally show my shoulders.
I speak with animals all the time. They don’t talk back and I don’t think I make myself understood, but I don’t think the witch hunters would appreciate the nuances there
Magic
Painting my nails, makeup, math… the list goes on
I own my own house.
I can read, write, and sometimes do math as a woman. Also, I like women.
I can’t befriend any irl or online human but I can bond with any pet or stray cat. Pure witch life.
breathing while being a woman
Not sure if it’s a tiny habit, but my last nose bleed lasted for hours and I started bleeding from my eye. Turns out I have an anatomical defect in the valve that drains the tear ducts down your nose. I’m certain if I was alive in the 1600’s, I’d be tied up in town square, in danger, for sure.
I wash myself daily.
I have a black cat who sleeps with me.
Left handed Redditors:
Eating tomatoes
Owning cats, not having erectile disfunction, and not having the plague is enough by Maleus Maleficarum 1500s standards.
But for the 1600s the witch hunts were about people in positions of power committing real estate theft/fraud by seizing the property and wealth of “witches” so owning a house and a 401k would do it.
My cat and I have long, thoughtful conversations.
idk, probably the witchcraft
I’m a chemist for a living, which feels like modern witchcraft/alchemy anyway. I also probably get bonus points for being a woman with unruly curly hair and a black cat.
Cursing
I float like a duck.
Finding out what the weather will be for the next few days.
I talk to myself, every animal I come across, listen to blasphemous music, communicate with people instantly over long distances, wear a lot of black, float in water, and I’m a wrestler so far to aggressive for a regular woman, not to mention math, reading and writing.
I have a neurological disorder that causes me to have random twitches and movements. I’m a shoe in for the burning pyre, maybe not as a witch but as a possessed person for sure.
I’m left-handed.