Has anyone here ever dealt with limerence? I think I’m about 70% of the way there, but not in a creepy or obsessive way. More of like a ‘not in control of my feelings’ way.
How did you cope? I read it is typically one-sided, maybe just a me hormonal problem. Did you bring it up to the other individual or nah? Distancing myself isn’t an option. I’ve never had this happen to me before.
Side note – I specifically talked about this subreddit with the individual I am experiencing this about today who mentioned the countersub to this one, askmenover30, so if you’re reading this and feel the same, reach out. Otherwise please totally ignore so I can go bury my embarrassment in a hole somewhere and I promise I’m a non threat 🙃 just let me live in peace while I sort myself out…Had to put this somewhere so I don’t explode so thanks for reading. We’re 30 and hit that new fuck it mentality, right?
I don’t think I’m making it up….the eyes I get from them. Woofdah. But who frickin knows.
kbyeeee
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I have. It’s awful. You have to remind yourself that what you imagine is poorly informed. It’s based on incomplete information. Distancing was the only thing that helped me. Broke the distance, it slipped right back in. For what it’s worth, I totally hope you get a response. 🙂 Anyway, be gentle with yourself.
The r/adhdwomen sub has had many discussions on this. Even if you don’t have ADHD it might help to know you are definitely not alone.
I have. Shit sucks. I found the book “Love and Limerence” helpful. Something about having it explained in a detached and clinical way helped me keep one foot in reality.
Yes I’ve experienced limerence several times and it’s intoxicating and devastating. It’s often one sided but not always. For me, the only way to end it was to go no contact (or cut down contact as much as humanly possible), or for them to do something so heinous or offputting it broke the spell
First off – well done for catching yourself early enough.
Unfortunately it’s only ever happened to me once and i had no idea it was even a thing. Genuinely felt like my brain went out the window.
In hindsight, I do wish I had stepped on the breaks but clearly said I’m interested but would like to take time to get to know him, not sleep with him at the start and see if we could form an actual friendship and mutual respect first.
I would also schedule in regular therapy sessions to be able to work through the intensity of my feelings and know I have an outlet to unpack it rather than fly off the wheels with anxious thoughts and seek that dopamine hits from texting with my limerant object all the time.
Good luck!
Going through it right now. I’m dying.
For some reason it helped me a lot to learn that it is an emotional addiction. Ie, not about them, not about love, not about me in the context of them; more like some equivalent of compulsively reaching for a drink.