Constant uncertainty. They don’t always know where they’ll be or what they’ll be doing next, and that unpredictability can be stressful. Not just the deployments, but daily changes that make life difficult.
Most people think the hardest part is combat, but honestly, it’s the waiting. The boredom, the constant uncertainty, the hurry up and wait culture, it messes with your head way more than you’d expect.
The High School mentality of cliques doesn’t disappear just because somebody put a uniform on. Most people serving are in their early 20s, most serve straight out of High School and go to College after, so it’s s bunch of hormonal, irresponsible morons with training.
I say this as someone who served, and was, in retrospect, a hormonal, irresponsible moron with training.
That you have no real friends in the military, especially in the Marines. It is actually a crime for an officer and an enlisted Marine to socialize. It’s called fraternization and it’s a violation of the UCMJ and you can be brought up on charges. This is the primary reason in my experience why there are very high levels of depression, loneliness and suicide on military bases.
How little consistently you have in your work life. For the most part, you could be working days one week then swap to nights the next week. Not to mention that you could be randomly picked to be sent temporarily to another location for months on end.
The infantry is full of the most homoerotic straight dudes you will ever meet. Gay chicken was a regular game, and the longer you have been deployed, the crazier the games got.
Oh, easy, the high-school style bullying, and I’m not talking about those initial few weeks at your unit as a private where people mess with you to see how you react. I’m talking about the weird 28 year old dude insistently verbally berating and belittling one person they don’t like for no other reason than he can, and no one does anything about it till the guy snaps and beats the bully within an inch of their life. It’s incredibly common across units, ranks, and jobs.
I served 22 years active army. I’ve often said that I have more in common with people in prison, than I do with civilians. Because of the way their lives are controlled.
I’ve tried to explain this, but unless you’ve lived it, you don’t understand.
Closest I’ve found is doctors on their residency and people who have experience truly desperate poverty (who, if physically capable, often join the military!).
I was a heavy equipment operator. We needed to construct a crew serve weapons position (aka fox hole) we had backhoes bull dozers and countless other forms of equipment to dig holes fast. We always dug these positions by fucking hand with etools. You know the tiny shovel that folds up. Go get a garden shovel you know the little one and go dig a 5.5′ deep hole the size to handle 2 adults a browning 50 cal m2 and ammo. I was always told that’s the way we’ve always done it.
Every day we would go to the motor pool and move equipment forward sweep the dirt then move it back and sweep where it was moved too. Every other week we would move the equipment to the wash rack in the back of the motor pool and spend all day losing just hosing them down. Didn’t matter if they were dirty or not we did it.
How they basically train you to be fine in every situation. Combat? Fine. Waiting? Fine. Bored? Fine. Tired? Fine. Wet? Fine. Waiting to wait again? Fine. Exhausted? Fine. Need motrin to move around? Fine. Hot? Fine. Cold? Fine.
Basically they just make your life miserable in every single way, which makes life really easy to accept. Its been 20 years since I got out, I’m disabled AF, but nothing at all bothers me. Nothing stresses me. Nothing is as bad as what I have already been through. The drama in a civilian’s life that gets them down is shrugged off by us vets, and that is just really valuable for long term mental health.
If you’re lucky, every three years. If you’re unlucky like me, 11 moves in 7 years. It’s impossible to meet people, form relationships (even with people you work with), get comfortable, or even know what you’re doing.
The constant of knowing you’re going to leave has fucked me up pretty good and people back home just don’t get that.
Lots of people here talking about negatives. I’ll weigh in with a positive from my service. It’s hard to describe how it feels to be part of a small unit of highly motivated and competitive people working and training with a common goal and purpose. It’s unmatched IMO in the civilian world. I’m surrounded by many who have chosen service instead of the careers they could have had and they do it with a smile on their face and determination to continually improve. It’s humbling and inspiring.
Definitely not the norm, but there’s a reason certain jobs have different experiences than others
There are a lot of directives that can dictate many facets in your life and career. Anything you can think, there’s military instruction for that. And while some of those directives are cut and dry, others are written vaguely in such a way that it can leave you at the mercy of your leadership and how they interpret them. Fingers crossed your higher ups aren’t dicks or have it out for you.
Here’s a fun fact: Adultery is a punishable offense per article 134 of the UCMJ. You can be discharged, forfeit pay and confined for up to 1 year. Extramarital sexual conduct still applies even if you’re in the process of getting a divorce. Until your divorce is finalized, it’s highly advisable to avoid seeing other folks. Why? Because in an event where you’ve got, let’s say, an extremely vindictive partner, they could report that to your chain of command. It’s shitty, but it does happen.
UK military is a 9 – 5 mon – fri job with PE on Wednesday if not deployed or training. Most jobs are non combat roles, and even if in a combat role unlikely to fire a shot in anger unless the shit really hits the fan. Basic pay is not great but it can be easily topped up to decent by taking some simple courses.
Fairly easy life if you are the army type. Unless a major war is declared ofc but nowadays you are a target as a civillian as well.
An OPLAN has numerous annexes, each devoted to a function, for example cyber, logistics, weather, maritime, SOF etc. it’s literally a book. And after it’s written it goes on a shelf and it’s opened, referenced and employed in case of a war. And it’s refreshed every few years.
The fact that once you become an NCO, you are responsible for others actions outside of work. If your troop gets a DUI, you are in trouble with them for not preventing it. If your troop fails a fitness test, you are held accountable because the kid won’t stop eating fast food.
My uncle was a gunners mate on the carrier Midway during WWII and he talked about weeks of utter boredom suddenly turning into hours of pure terror. My father was in WWII and didn’t tell his boys above it.
Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best 24/7, hurry up and wait… that the people in your unit become your family. That the exudes and families bind together in as way that no one else can relate to, even your blood relatives
Comments
The amount of swingers
Marching!
discipline
How little control you have over your own life.
Everything is scheduled down to the minute—where you go, when you go, what you wear, even when you can eat or sleep. It’s all dictated by orders.
I don’t understand the whole marrying a stripper right before deployment thing
Constant uncertainty. They don’t always know where they’ll be or what they’ll be doing next, and that unpredictability can be stressful. Not just the deployments, but daily changes that make life difficult.
Most people think the hardest part is combat, but honestly, it’s the waiting. The boredom, the constant uncertainty, the hurry up and wait culture, it messes with your head way more than you’d expect.
How they hide a lot of shit for “honor”.
It’s overwhelming boredom, sprinkled with short bursts of extreme stress.
The High School mentality of cliques doesn’t disappear just because somebody put a uniform on. Most people serving are in their early 20s, most serve straight out of High School and go to College after, so it’s s bunch of hormonal, irresponsible morons with training.
I say this as someone who served, and was, in retrospect, a hormonal, irresponsible moron with training.
That you have no real friends in the military, especially in the Marines. It is actually a crime for an officer and an enlisted Marine to socialize. It’s called fraternization and it’s a violation of the UCMJ and you can be brought up on charges. This is the primary reason in my experience why there are very high levels of depression, loneliness and suicide on military bases.
Brotherhood
How little consistently you have in your work life. For the most part, you could be working days one week then swap to nights the next week. Not to mention that you could be randomly picked to be sent temporarily to another location for months on end.
All the poops jokes.
How many hours you work including PT and commuting – not to include training exercises – well I guess you can throw those hours in too
The commitment.
They’ll never quite understand the damage it does to your knees.
The infantry is full of the most homoerotic straight dudes you will ever meet. Gay chicken was a regular game, and the longer you have been deployed, the crazier the games got.
I’m a civilian, but I embarrassingly admit it took me some time to realize how little free time my husband had during drill weekends and AT.
You’re never off. Ever. Even when you think you’re off. You’re not.
Oh, easy, the high-school style bullying, and I’m not talking about those initial few weeks at your unit as a private where people mess with you to see how you react. I’m talking about the weird 28 year old dude insistently verbally berating and belittling one person they don’t like for no other reason than he can, and no one does anything about it till the guy snaps and beats the bully within an inch of their life. It’s incredibly common across units, ranks, and jobs.
How little gets done on a day to day basis.
It’s actually really hard getting a Dodge Charger at 26% APR and having your wife fuck all your friends while you’re deployed
Getting your girl pregnant from a 3ooo Mile trip overseas.
The brotherhood. I don’t believe it to be found anywhere else.
I served 22 years active army. I’ve often said that I have more in common with people in prison, than I do with civilians. Because of the way their lives are controlled.
Why do hands never get out in pants? Yes when they’re cold.
The inability to quit.
I’ve tried to explain this, but unless you’ve lived it, you don’t understand.
Closest I’ve found is doctors on their residency and people who have experience truly desperate poverty (who, if physically capable, often join the military!).
The amount of just dumb shit you do.
I was a heavy equipment operator. We needed to construct a crew serve weapons position (aka fox hole) we had backhoes bull dozers and countless other forms of equipment to dig holes fast. We always dug these positions by fucking hand with etools. You know the tiny shovel that folds up. Go get a garden shovel you know the little one and go dig a 5.5′ deep hole the size to handle 2 adults a browning 50 cal m2 and ammo. I was always told that’s the way we’ve always done it.
Every day we would go to the motor pool and move equipment forward sweep the dirt then move it back and sweep where it was moved too. Every other week we would move the equipment to the wash rack in the back of the motor pool and spend all day losing just hosing them down. Didn’t matter if they were dirty or not we did it.
Most of their spouses don’t cheat
Motorpool Mondays
How they basically train you to be fine in every situation. Combat? Fine. Waiting? Fine. Bored? Fine. Tired? Fine. Wet? Fine. Waiting to wait again? Fine. Exhausted? Fine. Need motrin to move around? Fine. Hot? Fine. Cold? Fine.
Basically they just make your life miserable in every single way, which makes life really easy to accept. Its been 20 years since I got out, I’m disabled AF, but nothing at all bothers me. Nothing stresses me. Nothing is as bad as what I have already been through. The drama in a civilian’s life that gets them down is shrugged off by us vets, and that is just really valuable for long term mental health.
Mostly.
Moving.
If you’re lucky, every three years. If you’re unlucky like me, 11 moves in 7 years. It’s impossible to meet people, form relationships (even with people you work with), get comfortable, or even know what you’re doing.
The constant of knowing you’re going to leave has fucked me up pretty good and people back home just don’t get that.
Some vets can’t really make friends in the civilian world; we stay close to our combat buddies and everyone else is on the other side of the wire.
Lots of people here talking about negatives. I’ll weigh in with a positive from my service. It’s hard to describe how it feels to be part of a small unit of highly motivated and competitive people working and training with a common goal and purpose. It’s unmatched IMO in the civilian world. I’m surrounded by many who have chosen service instead of the careers they could have had and they do it with a smile on their face and determination to continually improve. It’s humbling and inspiring.
Definitely not the norm, but there’s a reason certain jobs have different experiences than others
sometimes, you have to push a helicopter into the ocean
There are a lot of directives that can dictate many facets in your life and career. Anything you can think, there’s military instruction for that. And while some of those directives are cut and dry, others are written vaguely in such a way that it can leave you at the mercy of your leadership and how they interpret them. Fingers crossed your higher ups aren’t dicks or have it out for you.
Here’s a fun fact: Adultery is a punishable offense per article 134 of the UCMJ. You can be discharged, forfeit pay and confined for up to 1 year. Extramarital sexual conduct still applies even if you’re in the process of getting a divorce. Until your divorce is finalized, it’s highly advisable to avoid seeing other folks. Why? Because in an event where you’ve got, let’s say, an extremely vindictive partner, they could report that to your chain of command. It’s shitty, but it does happen.
UK military is a 9 – 5 mon – fri job with PE on Wednesday if not deployed or training. Most jobs are non combat roles, and even if in a combat role unlikely to fire a shot in anger unless the shit really hits the fan. Basic pay is not great but it can be easily topped up to decent by taking some simple courses.
Fairly easy life if you are the army type. Unless a major war is declared ofc but nowadays you are a target as a civillian as well.
How low the lowest common denominator can truely be.
How much it makes you appreciate the little things.
An OPLAN has numerous annexes, each devoted to a function, for example cyber, logistics, weather, maritime, SOF etc. it’s literally a book. And after it’s written it goes on a shelf and it’s opened, referenced and employed in case of a war. And it’s refreshed every few years.
Fact that military can’t quit their “job” and that military can be ordered to take the hill regardless of consequences.
How bone weary tired you can get. So many different levels of tired.
The fact that once you become an NCO, you are responsible for others actions outside of work. If your troop gets a DUI, you are in trouble with them for not preventing it. If your troop fails a fitness test, you are held accountable because the kid won’t stop eating fast food.
My uncle was a gunners mate on the carrier Midway during WWII and he talked about weeks of utter boredom suddenly turning into hours of pure terror. My father was in WWII and didn’t tell his boys above it.
Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best 24/7, hurry up and wait… that the people in your unit become your family. That the exudes and families bind together in as way that no one else can relate to, even your blood relatives
A military person’s dependent children aren’t like other children
Constant pressure, stress, unpredictability, frustration, physical damage and it’s never ending and you have to do it with grace integrity and honor
You gotta get up, you gotta get up in the morning…
That when you are in charge of people, it also includes all aspects of their personal lives.