I opened up to him about it around 2 years ago. I phrased it in the past tense, but it has never truly subsided since it first developed 5 years ago. I still count my calories and second guess everything I put in my body. I still have a scale that I use regularly. I’m not just on an “organic” kick right now to be healthy. I didn’t stop eating meat because of the animals. It’s something I can never really escape. No one even notices because I’m not underweight. Just wanted to get that out.
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You should probably tell him. This is stuff that a man’s gotta know about his lady. It’s very importantÂ
You’re very self-aware and should be proud of yourself for paying attention to how you feel. Start here.
To reach the helpline for the National Alliance for Eating Disorders, you can call the toll-free number at (866)-662-1235 from 9:00-7:00 pm EST on weekdays.
I’ve been married over 20 years to a woman that “used” to have an eating disorder when we started dating. It’s absolutely brutal being on the other side of it. You see them hurting themselves, but other than trying to avoid some triggers, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to help them until they want to actually fix it.
We went through years of continued problems. Tens of thousands in dental bills. Constant medical issues and psychological issues that resulted from it and were cyclical causes of it as well. The person she is when she’s doing well is not the same person that I initially fell for either. I’m happy when she’s healthy, but she’s also moodier and overall not as bubbly.
If I had to do it all over again, I don’t know if I would. Your boyfriend may not either. But he deserves to be able to make that choice for himself. He deserves to know the extent of the problem and what you’re doing to address it. He should read up on what it’s like being the spouse of someone with an eating disorder, because in many ways it’s like being married to an alcoholic.
If you care for him, you’ll discuss it with him, fully transparently.