There’s “helpful,” and then there’s “helpful in a way that accidentally leads to grand theft auto.” This is a story about the second kind, and it’s a cautionary tale about good intentions meeting truly, spectacularly bad luck.
Our narrator has a little sister (21) who is a professional item-loser. We all have one in our lives. But this sister isn’t just misplacing her phone; she is constantly losing her keys. And not just around the house. She’s lost them in public “at least 50 times,” and a “few of the times have been very scary” because she’s gotten herself stranded.
Some time ago, this habit cost her “a ton of money” to reprogram her remote lock. Then, more recently, she lost them again at a grocery store, but luckily, a cashier found her and gave them back before she went full frantic.
So, our narrator, being a genuinely well-meaning sibling, had an idea. She got a little tag made up. A tag that had her sister’s name, phone number, and address. The idea was simple: if someone found the keys, they could easily return them, saving her sister from future “stranded and reprogramming” nightmares. The sister knew about the tag, and even “thought it was a good idea.”
This is where the story takes a hard, dark turn into “oh, f*ck no.”
After that, the sister went to Six Flags Great Adventure with some friends. And there, in the magical land of rollercoasters and funnel cakes, she “truly, truly lost her keys.” Again.
When she got home, her car was gone.
Let that sink in. Her car was gone. And then, yesterday, the police found her car. But it was “completely chopped.” And, just to add the final, gut-wrenching detail: the key was still in the ignition. But her house and work keys? Gone.
It’s “obvious what the police think happened.” Some opportunistic thief found the keys with the handy-dandy “name and address” tag, drove to her house, and then, presumably, drove off with her car, leaving her house vulnerable.
The sister is, understandably, “furious” with our narrator. Her parents are “mad as well,” telling her she “should have minded my own business.”
So, is she the ahole? This is a tough one, because her intentions were genuinely good. She was trying to help her perpetually losing sister. And the sister approved of the tag.
But here’s the cold, hard truth: While her sister’s carelessness is the root cause, putting all that identifying information on a key tag is, unfortunately, a massive security risk. It turns a lost key into a roadmap for a thief.
N-T-A for trying to help, but YTA for the execution. It was a good idea with terrible implications. You’re not an ahole for caring, but the “helpful” idea was, objectively, a terrible one in hindsight. This is a painful lesson for everyone involved.