We all love a family vacation. But there is a time and a place. The time is “never” when it is your romantic anniversary trip that you have been saving for all year. One woman on Reddit is currently living a travel nightmare where her boyfriend’s mother decided to turn a lovers’ getaway into a three-person guided tour, and the boyfriend’s reaction is so weak it might actually be made of wet paper.
Let’s set the scene. Our narrator and her boyfriend, Henrik, live in Oslo. They have been scraping pennies together for a solid year. No new clothes. No eating out. All for two glorious weeks in Japan during cherry blossom season. We are talking private onsens, Kyoto temples, and Tokyo nightlife. It was supposed to be the romantic trip of a lifetime.
Because she was excited, the girlfriend made the fatal mistake of talking about the trip details. Liv, the boyfriend’s mother, was listening. Last week she called up Henrik and casually dropped a bomb that would level a small city. She had booked her flights. Not just any flights. Their flights. And their hotel. Without asking. Without a heads-up. Just “Surprise! I’m coming too!”
Now, any rational partner would immediately say “Mom, absolutely not.” But Henrik? Henrik crumbled. He looked uncomfortable but then told his girlfriend that since Liv already paid, they “can’t tell her not to come.” Excuse me? Yes you can. It is actually very easy. You say, “No.”
But it gets worse. When the girlfriend rightly pointed out that this was a hijacking, Henrik accused her of “making it weird.” And then he delivered the single worst defense in the history of travel. He said it might be nice to have his mom there because she can “watch our bags while we explore.”
I need a moment. You do not fly your mother halfway across the world to Japan to act as a luggage rack. You do not bring a chaperone on a romantic trip to guard your backpacks while you look at shrines. That is not a perk. That is a desperate grasp at straws from a man who is terrified of his mother.
Liv is playing the hits too. She is pulling the “I’m not getting any younger” card and the classic manipulator’s favorite line: “If you really loved Henrik, you’d want to include his family.” No, Liv. If you really loved your son, you would let him have a romantic life that doesn’t involve you sleeping down the hall.
So the girlfriend did the only thing a sane person could do. She issued an ultimatum. If Liv comes, she stays home. Henrik calls this “dramatic.” I call it “preserving your sanity.” She saved for cherry blossoms with her boyfriend, not a chaperoned field trip with his mommy.
Is she the ahole? Absolutely not. This trip is already ruined. Even if Liv stays home, the vibe is dead. But going on the trip with Liv would be a torture session that costs thousands of dollars. Cancel the trip, get your money back, and maybe use it for a deposit on an apartment that Henrik doesn’t have a key to.