Buying a house in this economy is basically like winning the lottery, finding a unicorn, and getting struck by lightning all at the same time. It is a massive achievement. For one 30-year-old woman on Reddit, that dream became a reality earlier this year. She bought her own place, moved in, and set it up exactly how she wanted. Since she is child-free, that meant zero baby gates, zero outlet covers, and absolutely no plastic locks on the toilet seats. It sounds like paradise.
But owning the “big house” in a large family comes with a terrible curse. You are immediately expected to host every single holiday gathering until the end of time. The OP (Original Poster) has five siblings, and between them, they have produced a small army of children ranging from two to four kids each. That is a lot of sticky fingers and chaos to invite into a pristine new home. Despite the overwhelming logistics, the family pressured her into hosting Thanksgiving this year.
The OP agreed, but she isn’t a martyr. She laid down some very reasonable ground rules. First, it is a potluck because cooking for a battalion is too much for one person. Second, the parents need to bring entertainment for their own children because her house is not a Toys “R” Us. And third, and most importantly, nobody goes into the parrot room.
Yes, she has a parrot room. The entire top floor of her house is dedicated to her beloved birds. If you know anything about parrots, you know they are incredibly intelligent, easily stressed, and surprisingly fragile. They are not plush toys for toddlers to squeeze. The OP made it crystal clear that the bird floor was a no-go zone and would be locked for the safety of the animals.
You would think these requests were standard. Watch your kids and don’t harass the pets. But apparently, her siblings live on a different planet where entitlement is the main export. Instead of saying “thank you for hosting,” they started making demands. They are insisting that she babyproof her entire house for a single afternoon. They are terrified their kids might fall down the stairs if there isn’t a gate, which begs the question: were they planning on watching their toddlers at all?
But the demand that really sent me over the edge involves the birds. The siblings are actually angry that the OP won’t let the kids into the parrot room. Their reasoning? They want the kids to “play with them” because it will “keep the kids quiet.” I am sorry, but since when is a live animal a babysitter? Parrots have beaks that can crack nuts, and toddlers have zero impulse control. This is a recipe for a traumatized bird and a missing finger, but the parents just want a free petting zoo to distract their offspring.
The OP stood her ground. She told them she isn’t installing safety hardware for a one-day event and that the bird room is closed. Period. The family’s reaction was to resort to name-calling. They called her a “spoiled kid” (even though she is the one paying the mortgage), a “lazy bum,” and an ahole.
Calling the person who is opening their home to twenty-plus people “lazy” is a bold strategy. The OP finally snapped and threatened to cancel Thanksgiving altogether if they didn’t back off. Now, she isn’t on speaking terms with two of her sisters, and her mom is taking the siblings’ side because apparently, keeping the peace is more important than respecting the host’s boundaries.
So, is she the ahole? Absolutely not. N-T-A. It is wild that people think they can demand someone renovate their home for a dinner party. If the stairs are a danger, the parents need to stand at the bottom of them. If the kids are bored, the parents should have packed some iPads.
The OP is providing the venue and the vibe. She is not a daycare center. Her siblings seem to think that because she doesn’t have human children, her time, space, and pets are public property. They are wrong. If they want a babyproofed house with a petting zoo, they can host Thanksgiving at their own houses. But I have a feeling they won’t step up, because that would require effort, and they seem to prefer complaining. Stick to your guns, bird mom. The safety of your flock comes first.
I think the person is exaggerating. No one would expect a pet owner that has their pets, locked away kids to play. She just looking for a good excuse not to host in my opinion.