We need to talk about a very specific type of guy. You know the one. He served in the military and made it his entire personality. He has the bumper stickers, the t-shirts, and the unwavering belief that he is the ultimate authority on what a “real warrior” looks like. And apparently, according to one former Marine Captain on Reddit, a real warrior cannot possibly be a quiet, unassuming woman.
Our narrator, a 34-year-old MBA student and former Marine, decided to grace his classmate, “J,” with stories of his glory days. He was opening up about his service and the lessons he learned from the Corps because obviously everyone in a business school group project wants to hear that. To his surprise, J, who is 31, mentioned that she also served as a Surface Warfare Officer in the Navy.
Instead of bonding over shared experiences or, I don’t know, treating her with basic respect, OP immediately went into suspicion mode. Why? Because J is “very gentle, very soft-spoken and unassuming.” Apparently, she lacked the required “bravado” that OP thinks is necessary to exist in a military environment. Because as we all know, you can’t drive a ship if you aren’t loud.
So, he decided to interrogate her. He started drilling her on deployments, courses, and ships. J, perhaps because she didn’t feel like reliving trauma for a classmate’s amusement or maybe just because she realized this guy was being an insufferable tool, got tight-lipped. She said it wasn’t a good period of her life and she didn’t want to talk about it. A normal person takes the hint. OP took it as proof of deception.
He actually looked this woman in the face, accused her of “bullsh!tting,” and called her a “phony.” The absolute unmitigated gall of this man. He essentially decided that because she didn’t fit his narrow, stereotypical view of a veteran, she must be committing stolen valor.
Feeling mighty pleased with his detective work, OP went to gossip at his school’s veterans organization. He warned his friend “M” to be wary of J. And this is where the karma train pulls into the station. M looked at OP and basically said, “Uh, yeah dude, she served.” M had seen her paperwork, her ID, and oh yeah, one of her MBA recommendation letters was written by a retired Rear Admiral who thinks she walks on water.
Whoops indeed. OP had just aggressively insulted a highly regarded female officer because she was too “demure” for his taste. You would think he would crawl into a hole, but no. The next time he saw her, he tried to act “chummy” to “make up for” accusing her of federal crimes. He thought he could just smile it away.
J was not having it. She laughed in his face and delivered one of the most savage, niche insults I have ever heard. She told this former Marine Captain to “pound sand, poolee.”
For those not up on military slang, a “poolee” is someone who has signed up but hasn’t even gone to boot camp yet. It is the ultimate dismissal, reducing his entire identity and ego to that of a know-nothing beginner. She is my hero.
So, is he the ahole? Do we even have to ask? Yes, YTA times a million. He tried to gatekeep military service based on misogynistic vibes and got rightfully put in his place by someone with actual credentials. Next time, maybe he will remember that warriors come in all personality types, and some of them bite back hard.