These Moms Accused Their Childfree Friend of Being “Selfish” for Not Helping With Their Kids on a Group Trip to Bali, and the Audacity is Staggering

We need to have a serious conversation about the absolute minefield that is the “group vacation.” It starts with enthusiastic group chats and grand visions of sunsets and matching swimwear, but so often ends in passive-aggressive texts, Venmo disputes, and severed ties. One woman on Reddit just lived through the ultimate nightmare version of this scenario, and honestly, I need to lie down in a dark room after reading her story. It involves Bali, best friends since university, and the kind of breath-taking entitlement that makes your blood pressure spike.

The Original Poster (OP) is a 38-year-old childfree woman who planned what was supposed to be a dream trip to Bali with her husband and her two longtime besties, “Kate” and “Mary.” The catch? Kate and Mary brought their husbands and their children, all under the age of five. Right out of the gate, the OP proved she was the bigger person. She and her husband arrived early but waited to let the moms choose the best rooms with ensuites in their shared four-bedroom villa.

She didn’t stop there. She even surprised her friends with gifted massages to give them a break from the chaos of traveling with toddlers. She sounds like an absolute dream of a travel companion, right? Someone who reads the room and tries to make things easier for her stressed-out friends. You would think they would be grateful.

Apparently gratitude wasn’t on the itinerary. The vibes started getting weird whenever the OP decided to act like an adult on vacation and order a drink. Every time she had a cocktail before dinner or a glass of wine with a meal, the mom-police came out in force with judgmental little comments like “Oh, you’re drinking again?” Keep in mind, the husbands were also drinking, but nobody said a peep to them. The OP ignored it to keep the peace because who wants drama in paradise?

The tension finally snapped after the very last night of the trip. The OP and her husband decided to go out and celebrate the end of the vacation with the other guys on the trip. Kate and Mary decided to stay in and pack, which is totally fine, but they apparently expected the OP to sit in solidarity with them instead of enjoying her final hours in Bali. OP went out, had fun, got in late, and flew home the next day in business class (another point of contention for her jealous friends, apparently).

A week later, the bomb dropped. Kate sent a long, venomous text saying she and Mary wanted to “reduce contact” because the OP had “ruined their vacation.” The list of grievances is truly unhinged. They accused her of not acting like a “girls’ girl,” booking different flights, not hanging out with them enough, and being focused on “partying and not acting her age.” The OP was devastated and cried after reading it, thinking she had just been enjoying her trip.

But the real kicker, the cherry on top of this sundae of delusion, was their accusation that she was “selfish for not helping with their kids.” And there it is. The mask slips completely. They weren’t mad she had a margarita at dinner. They were mad they brought their under-five-year-old children to Bali and realized it wasn’t actually a vacation for them.

They were mad that their childfree friend wasn’t stepping up to be unpaid auxiliary staff on her own expensive getaway. They saw her sleeping in, going on hikes with her husband, and enjoying her freedom, and it made them furious because they were stuck in a villa doing the exact same exhausting childcare they do at home, just in a more humid location.

Let’s be crystal clear here. The OP is totally and completely NTA. It is not “selfish” to enjoy the international vacation you paid for. It is not your job to parent your friends’ children just because your womb is currently unoccupied. Kate and Mary are just deeply jealous that the OP got to have an actual vacation while they endured a parenting relocation. The OP didn’t ruin their trip; their own poor planning and massive sense of entitlement did.