This Man Threatened to Stop Buying Groceries Because His Girlfriend Refused to Wash His “Soiled” Underwear, and the Hygiene Details Are Nauseating

The division of household labor is already the leading cause of arguments in cohabitating relationships. It gets infinitely worse when one partner works from home and the other assumes that means they are basically running a 24/7 laundromat and maid service. But every now and then, a story pops up on Reddit that goes beyond simple chore inequality and dives straight into the realm of biological hazards. One man recently took to the internet to complain that his girlfriend of four years has stopped washing his underwear, and let’s just say his defense rested on the fact that his mother never complained about his skid marks.

The Original Poster (OP) is a 32-year-old man living with his 28-year-old girlfriend. She works from home, so naturally, the burden of housekeeping has fallen on her shoulders. He claims he “helps out” where he can, but admits she often refuses his help because he doesn’t wash his hands well enough. That should have been the first red flag. If a grown man is being told he fails at basic handwashing, we are off to a very rocky start.

For years, she did all the laundry without complaint. But recently, she started separating his undergarments and vests from the pile. She refuses to wash them with her own clothes because she claims they “contaminate” the load. Let’s pause and think about what kind of situation needs to be happening in those boxers for a washing machine, a device literally designed to clean filth, to be considered insufficient to handle the job.

The girlfriend was blunt. She told him he needs to keep his privates cleaner, learn to wash his hands, and stop “soiling” himself. The OP’s defense is that he does shower, but then he drops a line that made every woman reading this recoil in horror. He muses that “maybe it is natural that men smell more.” No, sir. It is not natural. That is the scent of negligence and poor wiping technique.

Then comes the kicker. The line that seals his fate as the villain of the week. He complains that he feels treated like he is disgusting when he isn’t, citing the fact that he lived with his mom before this and she never said his boxers were dirty. Bringing your mother into an argument about your hygiene is a bold strategy. Mothers are legally obligated to love you, but girlfriends are not. Just because your mom silently treated your stains with Shout spray for three decades doesn’t mean your partner should have to deal with the fallout.

Instead of buying a bidet or investing in some wet wipes, the OP decided to issue an ultimatum. He told his girlfriend that if she refuses to wash his soiled underwear, he will stop buying the groceries he picks up on his commute. He is essentially threatening a grocery strike. He thinks this is a fair trade. I wash your dirty boxers, you eat dinner. It is a transactional nightmare.

He is willing to let the fridge go empty rather than throw a separate load of laundry in or, god forbid, clean himself properly. He viewed the grocery run as leverage to force his girlfriend to handle his biohazards.

So, is he the ahole? Yes. YTA. If your partner tells you that your clothes are too dirty to be washed with theirs, you don’t argue. You go to a doctor or you learn how to clean yourself. You certainly don’t threaten to cut off the food supply like a tyrant. This isn’t a chore dispute; this is a hygiene crisis masquerading as a relationship problem. Do your own laundry, OP, and maybe buy some baby wipes on your next grocery run. Your girlfriend and your washing machine will thank you.