22F I have a problem with men. i always want to give them everything they want from me because i know they’ll like me even if it’s just for the few minutes or hours they are willing to spend with me. every male that crosses paths with me I need them to like me I need to be the most important thing to them. I’ll end up having sex with them and regret after completely disassociated during. I’ll cry after because I know they don’t care for me. I try to act like a manic pixie dream girl but it never really works…sometimes I’ll act crazy and call them a million times I’ll hit up their friends I’ll do anything really. I constantly feel lonely guilty everything. I know I need to change but I just can’t do it.
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where do you think this desire started?
This is 100% something to work through with a therapist. This is pretty extreme behavior. Milder versions of validation seeking are common enough, but the way it manifests in you is extreme and very unhealthy. I can tell you’re really hurting yourself </3 Please talk to a therapist. You don’t deserve to feel like this all the time.
I honestly don’t think you’re alone in that. Seems to be the problem with a lot of relationships these days is that need to be someone’s everything. It’s really not healthy. Question you need to ask yourself is do you love yourself? And why not?
At least u are self aware enough to see it, now u just gotta do something about it
Due to the liberal atheistic culture we live in and the feminism which is being espoused, most men suffer from this as well.
This is a clear side of mommy and daddy issues whereby we were not nurtured with healthy relationships from our parents.
I just wanted to say that you’re not alone and that myself and many of my guy friends have poor quality relationships with women as a result of the bad upbringing and nurturing.
What has helped overcome that is to completely reevaluate the other sex, and to try to understand that they are just somebody’s daughter or somebody’s son, see them as children in order to accommodate that.
If you were able to reprogram that in your own mind, you will be able to switch from responding to their sex, to responding to their virtue that goodness and their character, without drinking a psychological or emotional need to get validation back from them.
Love is not a transaction, it is a sacrificial gift.
Break free from the debt concept of love.
As a man, I’m the same exact way. I give everything to everyone because I crave validation and usefulness. And even now I’m still learning that if you give everything to everyone, you won’t have anything left. It’s best to focus on doing the best for the people who seem to give you the most, friends, family, etc.
Send me nudes or i wont like you