Being a parent to a teenager is a journey mostly filled with weird smells, slamming doors, and a lot of eye-rolling. Usually, you think you’re in the clear once they hit middle school and start taking care of their own basic hygiene. But one dad on Reddit just discovered that “basic hygiene” is apparently a loose suggestion for his 14-year-old son, and the resulting laundry nightmare has pushed this man to the absolute brink of his sanity.
The Original Poster (OP) is a dad who recently took over the household chores because his wife is unfortunately sick. Up until now, Mom had been handling the laundry, so Dad was blissfully unaware of the biological warfare happening in the hamper. That changed the very first day he did a load of whites. He describes nearly puking from the state of his son’s underwear, which is a sentence that should never be written about a “healthy young man” who is well past the age of potty training.
We aren’t talking about a little bit of laundry neglect here. We are talking about a teenager who has seemingly forgotten the fundamental mechanics of using toilet paper. The dad tried the gentle approach first, asking the kid to make an effort. When that failed to produce anything but more skid marks, he decided it was time for a high-tech intervention. He went to the hardware store, bought a wand bidet, and installed it in the kid’s bathroom with a very clear ultimatum: use the water or wash your own drawers.
Instead of choosing the path of cleanliness, the son decided to go rogue. He started going commando. All this did was transfer the biohazard from his underwear directly to his jeans, which is arguably worse for the washing machine and the general aroma of the household. It was a classic teenage move: a total lack of logic paired with an extreme dedication to being gross.
The dad, now desperate, decided to pull out the big guns. He threatened to take the kid to the doctor to see if there was a physical or psychological reason for his inability to wipe. Then, he went for the jugular: he threatened to ask the kid’s friends if their underwear looked the same way the next time they came over. Now, the dad admitted he would never actually humiliate his son like that, but the threat was enough to get the boy’s attention.
The son reacted by calling his sick mother to tattle on Dad’s “mean” rules. Her response? She basically said, “He’s just like that,” and told the dad to just deal with it until she felt better. This is where I have to step in and say: No, Mom. “Just like that” is a personality trait, like being messy or loud. Leaving a trail of destruction in your pants at fourteen is a hygiene crisis that needs an immediate fix.
The dad’s commentary on the situation is both savage and deeply relatable for any parent who has ever dealt with a stubborn kid. He pointed out that if this kid doesn’t learn the basics now, his future dating life is going to be nonexistent unless he finds someone with a very specific, very smelly niche interest. It’s tough love, but someone has to say it! The kid finally started using the bidet, though he complains that it’s “gross and weird.”
I’m sorry, but in what world is a blast of clean water grosser than literally crapping your pants every single day as a high schooler? The logic of a fourteen-year-old is a truly terrifying place. The dad is sticking to his guns, and honestly, we have to stan a parent who refuses to enable poor hygiene just to keep the peace.
So, is the dad the ahole for the bidet mandate and the “ask your friends” threat? Absolutely not. NTA. He is doing this kid a massive favor. One day, when this boy is an adult with a functional social life and a partner who doesn’t run away in horror, he will owe his dad a huge thank you. Until then, keep that bidet running, Dad. You are doing the Lord’s work for that washing machine.