We have all been there: you think you are doing someone a favor by giving them a job, only to realize your expectations were way higher than their actual experience level. But for one neighborly nanny on Reddit, her attempt to “mentor” her 18-year-old sister in the art of babysitting turned into a total sh!t-show of condescension. Imagine leaving a teenager in charge of a six-year-old, providing a “page of instructions” like you’re launching a space shuttle, and then getting p!ssed when they ask clarifying questions. While the OP thinks she’s being efficient, the rest of the internet is wondering why she’s being such a haughty b!tch to her own sister.
The Original Poster (OP) is very involved with her neighbor’s kids, acting as a secondary caregiver for a single mom across the hall. Since she had a dentist appointment, she decided to hire her 18-year-old sister for a quick two-hour stint. She left a list of “simple” snacks like Kraft mac and cheese and dino nuggets, plus a structured schedule of reading and screen time. It sounds organized, but anyone who has ever babysat knows that “simple” instructions can feel like a riddle when you are in someone else’s house and don’t want to f*ck up their routine.
Ten minutes after the OP left, the sister started texting. She wanted to know which books to read and if she actually had to walk the dog to the park herself. Instead of just answering the questions or realizing that her sister was clearly nervous about overstepping, the OP basically told her to use “common sense” and figure it out. It is a b!tch move to set someone up for a job and then get annoyed when they try to ensure they are doing exactly what you asked.
When the OP returned, she found the kid watching a movie and her sister feeling totally overwhelmed. The sister pointed out that while this stuff “comes easy” to the OP, it doesn’t to everyone. Instead of having a shred of empathy for a teenager trying to navigate a strange house and a specific set of rules, the OP doubled down. She told her sister that if she needed that much “handholding,” she wouldn’t be hired again. It is a sh!t-show of a response to a sibling who was clearly just trying to do a good job.
The emotional commentary from the Reddit community was swift and brutal: the OP is definitely the ahole. Being 18 doesn’t magically grant you the instincts of a seasoned nanny. If you leave a “page of instructions,” you are basically inviting questions. To then act like those questions are a personal insult to your intelligence is just peak arrogance. You can’t k!ll someone’s confidence and then wonder why they didn’t “figure it out” your way.
Let’s be real for a second: asking “does TV count as screen time” might seem silly, but plenty of parents distinguish between “educational” iPad time and “mindless” TV time. The sister wasn’t being dumb; she was being thorough. The OP treated her like she was a burden for wanting to follow the rules correctly. It is a b!tch move to punish someone for seeking clarity, especially when you know they “need things spelled out.”
The OP claims she wants to help her sister because she “needs the money,” but then she threatens to take that opportunity away over a few text messages. That is some high-level manipulation. It’s the ultimate “main character” move to act like babysitting a six-year-old and a dog is a high-stakes performance that requires zero communication. If you want a robot, buy a robot. If you hire a human, expect a conversation.
The fact that the kid was an hour into a movie is probably because the sister was so afraid of f*cking up the “reading” or “snack” portion of the list that she went with the safest option. The OP created an environment where the sister felt she couldn’t win, so she just took the path of least resistance. You can’t demand “next to no skill” and then act like she’s a failure for not being a childcare expert.
This story is a reminder that being a “pro” at something doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk to beginners. The OP is so wrapped up in her own “flexible schedule” and “below market rate” hero complex that she forgot how to be a supportive sister. Telling an 18-year-old they are failing at “common sense” while they are literally trying to follow your written orders is a total bullsh!t move.
The internet isn’t siding with the “organized” sister on this one. They see a teenager who was trying her best and an older sister who was looking for an excuse to feel superior. If the OP doesn’t want to “handhold,” she shouldn’t hire a family member who she already knows struggles with ambiguity. You don’t get to k!ll a relationship over a box of dino nuggets and a walk in the park.
So, is she the ahole? 100% yes. She was harsh, condescending, and totally lacked perspective. Her sister didn’t need a lecture; she needed a little bit of grace and maybe a quick answer about which book to pick up.
What would you do if your sister talked to you like you were a total idiot for asking a question? Is the OP right to want an “independent” sitter, or is she just being a total ahole to her own flesh and blood? Let us know in the comments if you think the sister should get a second chance or if the OP needs to take a “common sense” class in kindness!