This Woman Told Her Cousin to Give Up on IVF Because She Was “Wasting Money” and the Family Fallout is Absolutely Nuclear

We all have that one relative who thinks their “unsolicited advice” is actually a gift from the gods, but one woman on Reddit just took it to a level that is making everyone’s skin crawl. Imagine sitting down at your mother’s birthday dinner, listening to your cousin talk about the heartbreaking and expensive journey of IVF, and deciding that the best thing to contribute to the conversation is telling her to stop “wasting money” and give up on her dreams of being a mother. If you have ever wanted to see someone completely misread the room and then act like the victim, this story of the “world’s most awkward dinner party” is for you.

The Original Poster (OP) is twenty-eight and her thirty-five-year-old cousin, Lauren, has been going through hell trying to conceive. Lauren and her husband have health issues, and they have already been through several rounds of IVF with no luck. For anyone who hasn’t been through it, IVF is an emotional, physical, and financial rollercoaster that requires a level of hope most of us can’t even imagine. So, when the topic came up at dinner, most family members did the normal thing: they said a prayer and wished the couple luck.

But the OP decided that was far too supportive. Instead, she piped up and told Lauren that after spending so much money and failing so many times, she should really consider just calling it quits. She didn’t stop there, though. She actually suggested that they should save their money and maybe “financially help some struggling family with kids” instead. It is a level of haughty b!tch energy to tell an infertile woman that her desire for a child is a waste of resources that should be donated to someone else’s children.

Naturally, Lauren and her husband were offended. Lauren tried to be polite by saying they weren’t struggling with money, but the OP doubled down like she was their personal financial advisor. She told them they would be struggling in the future and reiterated that the money was being used for “no benefits.” Lauren went quiet—probably from the sheer shock of being insulted so casually—and her husband finally told the OP to mind her own business and keep her opinions to herself.

Instead of realizing she had just been a massive ahole, the OP started an argument, claiming the husband was being “disrespectful” for talking back to her. It is truly mind-blowing to insult someone’s reproductive choices and then get mad when they aren’t nice to you about it. Lauren and her husband ended up leaving the party, and honestly, we don’t blame them. Who wants to eat birthday cake while someone tells you your future child isn’t worth the investment?

The emotional commentary here is a total sh!t-storm. The OP’s mother was rightfully fuming, pointing out that the OP had zero say in anyone’s reproductive choices and should have just kept her mouth shut. But the OP is still defending herself, saying they were “just talking” and that Lauren blew it out of proportion. It is a classic case of someone being “brutally honest” and forgetting that the emphasis is usually on the “brutal” part.

What makes this even weirder is that the OP’s sister and husband are actually siding with her. Her husband even told her to “give it a few days” and Lauren will be the one to call. In what universe is the person who was attacked going to call the attacker to apologize? It is a level of delusion that suggests this entire branch of the family tree might be a little bit toxic. You don’t get to tell someone their infertility struggle is a “waste” and then wait for them to thank you for the advice.

Let’s be real for a second: IVF is a deeply personal medical journey. Suggesting that someone should stop trying to have a baby so they can give that money to people who already have kids is pure bullsh!t. It’s a k!ller blow to a woman who is already struggling with the grief of failed cycles. The OP claims she sees Lauren as a “sister,” but if this is how she treats her siblings, we’d hate to see how she treats her enemies.

The OP’s “opinion” wasn’t asked for, and it certainly wasn’t helpful. Telling someone who is about to undergo another round of treatment that they are wasting their time and money is an ahole move of the highest order. It ignores the emotional stakes and treats a human life like a bad stock market investment. It is a haughty move to think you have the right to manage someone else’s bank account and their uterus at the same time.

This story is a vital reminder that “I was just being honest” is usually just code for “I have no empathy.” The OP ruined her mother’s birthday and potentially her relationship with her cousin because she couldn’t resist the urge to be the smartest person in the room. She didn’t cause a scene; she caused a trauma. And the fact that she’s waiting for a phone call from Lauren shows she has zero understanding of the damage she’s done.

So, is she the ahole? Yes. 100% yes. She overstepped every boundary in the book and then had the audacity to act like she was the one being disrespected. We hope Lauren and her husband find success in their next round of IVF and that they keep the OP as far away from the baby shower as humanly possible.

What would you do if a relative told you to stop “wasting money” on your medical treatments? Is the OP just “practical,” or is she a total ahole for bringing this up at a birthday dinner? Let us know in the comments if you’d ever forgive a cousin for a sh!t-show comment like this!