Me ‘F-19and my boyfriend ‘M-20’ recently argued because he was saving a friend of mines snaps in their chat and I talked to him about it and today he tried adding another girl I knew and it js set me off and I told him not to add girls anymore and he like just went crazy and unadded all his friends on discord, unfollowed everyone on tiktok, instagram even family, and unadded almost everyone except two people on snap and I didn’t want that, I didn’t tell him to do that and I asked him why and he said better safe than sorry and I feel terrible, I didn’t want it to come to that at all, in fact all I meant by what I said was to not add girls anymore for future reference and idk I feel horrible and idk what to do. What is the reason why he’s doing this and how can I make things up?
My boyfriend unadded all his friends and family over something I said.
r/Advice
Comments
It sounds like he did it to make you feel bad by being ridiculously dramatic. Leave him to it.
Yeah nah unless yall middle aged and married no dude is talking to only you he did that to make you feel bad he’s gonna add them back lol as far as him adding females some guys it’s fine some it isn’t you just gotta know the person you’re talking to
Some people get downright childish about social media, and that’s exactly what he is doing. “”They pissed me off! So I’ll delete them off instagram! That will show ’em!”. (And, sadly, some of the folks he deleted will act like toddlers and get upset about it)
Let them make a fool of themselves. They’ll realize how ridiculous they look.
He sounds very Immature and not ready for a relationship. I would sit down with him explain your feelings and if he still acts like a kid ask for a break for a while
He needs to chill and learn how to communicate better.
lol yeah, that’s so dramatic. He’s a keeper
Martyr much? Very childish behavior instead of learning how to communicate like an adult.
Bro still uses Snapchat 😂You get a girlfriend or you get Snapchat, bro needs to pick one.
He’s being overly dramatic to try to make you feel bad. It’s immature. I would respond with “yeah, you’re right, that’s a good idea.” Don’t give him the reaction he’s looking for.
Unadded?
Do you mean removed?
Feels like there’s missing context or details.
You could stop micromanaging his social media use, I suppose.
Because he’s a narcissist, gaslighter and likely a cheater. I’ve been through that when I was younger
My ex acted like this because he was cheating on me with multiple people. He even went as far as saying “I’ll leave my phone with you during the day” too. Leave now
Y’all both sound stupid and childish.
Unadded? You mean, “removed”?
Sounds like he reacted impulsively out of frustration or guilt. You didn’t ask for that, so just reassure him that balance is okay, you just wanted boundaries, not isolation.
I bet he’s the kind of guy to dramatically cry “I can’t do ANYTHING right, can I?” when he’s criticized.
He doesn’t like you, he likes your friends. And now he’s gaslighting you, time to leave him.
Your boyfriend is an immature drama queen who intended you to feel terrible. This is an indication of how he will approach all conflicts in the future. Put it back on him. He chose to go scorched earth when it wasn’t demanded or necessary. Doing that just says that he is being resentful instead of repentful, so to speak.
He did it with the intention of making you feel bad for what was a pretty reasonable ask based on his behaviour.
It’s a tactic to prevent you from standing up for yourself in the future because you don’t want him to take it the wrong way and overreact.
He’s being pathetic. Let him continue to be immature and pathetic. Don’t back down on what you told him, even if he starts a conversation about it with you. You weren’t wrong.
My honest advice for your relationship would be to find someone more mature who actually respects you and your feelings.. but if you don’t want to break up with him just yet, then talk to him about why his behaviour isn’t ok and why what he was doing wasn’t ok.
Ask him how he thinks he’d feel if you were doing the same thing to him whilst he was being good and faithful to you.
He might just be naive/stupid/ignorant and need a little education, I guess.
It’s not going to stop here, leave while you can!
Leave.
You are 19. You need to read this book and learn NOW what controlling, manipulating, toxic, and abusive behavior look like in a guy.
Google “Why does he do that”, by Lundy Bancroft. There is the free PDF version you can read.
Acting in extreme measures can be a sign of not only emotional immaturity, but an early sign of someone who is abusive.
You are not responsible for his behavior, and not responsible to manage his emotions.
“You think you caught me doing something shitty? Let me correct you: I’m the victim here”
Toddler level tantrums
He knew perfectly well what you meant
He’s being manipulative. He wants you to feel bad. I guarantee just because he did that does not mean he is going to quit what he was doing. He’ll just be sneaky about it now. Why do you want to be with someone you don’t trust? I’ve never felt the need to look through my husband’s phone. He doesn’t look through mine either. We have each other’s passwords for emergency reasons but haven’t used them. Your guy is being shady but you’re being controlling. If you don’t trust him let him go. If you do trust him then leave him alone.
Unadded?
Sounds like my 5yr old when she has a tantrum!
Wow, so many red flags in such a short paragraph.
He is manipulating you into feeling bad so that you won’t talk to him about things like this in the future.
He was petty and dramatic.
He will probably continue to do petty and dramatic things in the future.
If you want to stay with him you guys have to figure out how to communicate better because right now it isn’t working and relationships without communication are disasters.
Hahaha, what a childish drama queen. This is him going nuclear self destruct to try and make you feel bad, don’t fall for it.