We need to have a serious conversation about the weird double standard in body shaming. Society has generally agreed that commenting on someone’s weight is trash behavior, yet for some reason, people think it is open season on thin people. You would never walk up to a stranger and tell them to skip a meal, but telling someone to “eat a burger” is treated like helpful advice. One woman on Reddit just proved that if you can dish it out, you better be prepared to take it, and her co-worker learned this lesson the hard way.
The OP (Original Poster) started a new job at a cupcake shop, which sounds delightful until you meet her co-worker. The OP is naturally very thin, standing at 5’9″ and 115 lbs. Instead of learning her actual name, one co-worker decided to brand her with nicknames like “slim” and “toothpick.” She even threw in the classic unsolicited medical advice that the OP “needs some meat on her bones” and “needs to eat.”
This wasn’t a one-time thing. The OP has only worked there for eight days, and the harassment has been constant. She did the professional thing and went to the owner, but he dismissed it as “high school drama” and told them to figure it out themselves. Big mistake, boss man. When you tell employees to handle harassment themselves, you are practically begging for a cage match in the break room.
The OP tried to handle it civilly. She asked the co-worker nicely to stop. The co-worker’s response was essentially “it’s my mouth and I can say what I want.” It is the classic defense of a bully who thinks they are untouchable. So, the next morning, when the co-worker greeted her with “morning slim,” the OP decided she was done playing nice. She fired back with “morning chunky.”
Naturally, the co-worker didn’t take it well. She started crying immediately. It is fascinating how the “it’s my mouth, I can say what I want” crowd suddenly loses their enthusiasm for free speech when the insults are aimed at them. The co-worker felt comfortable belittling the OP’s body for over a week, but one adjective sent her into a meltdown.
The rest of the staff (all six of them) sided with the crying co-worker. Their logic is that being called skinny is a “compliment” while being called fat is an insult. Let’s be clear here. Calling someone “toothpick” is not a compliment. It is dehumanizing. It reduces a person to their size and implies they look unhealthy. Just because society praises thinness doesn’t mean individual thin people want their bodies dissected by colleagues while they are trying to frost cupcakes.
The OP refuses to apologize unless the nicknames stop, and she is absolutely right. She matched the energy she was given. If the word “chunky” hurts, then maybe don’t go around calling people “toothpick.” It is a simple lesson in treating others how you want to be treated. The co-worker dished it out but crumbled the second it came back her way.
The real villain here is the owner who refused to mediate. He let a hostile work environment fester until his employees were trading insults like middle schoolers. He called it a high school issue, but he is the one managing the place like a chaotic playground. The OP tried to go through the proper channels and was ignored.
So, is the OP the ahole? Not even a little bit. She stood up for herself when no one else would. She held up a mirror to a bully, and her co-worker just didn’t like the reflection.
What would you do if a co-worker wouldn’t stop commenting on your body? Would you have gone to HR, or would you have dropped a “morning chunky” bomb too? Let us know in the comments if you think the OP owes anyone an apology!