I [F, 29] start to resent my bf [M,30] for not eating something that we’ve both agree with and me throwing away a lot of food.

I [F,29] love my bf [M,30], but I start to resent cooking (a hobby of mine) because of him. We have been together for about a year, living together and The start was great, but now I feel resentful that I carry the mental load. I tell him what to do, give him time to do those things, but sometimes he does them, sometimes not. It’s a gamble.

He helps me cook usually on Sundays. We go shopping together, but usually we cook what I plan. He says he is okay with what I want to cook, but usually during the week he says he is too bloated to eat anything, but demolishes the sweets at night.

I’ve told him multiple times that I can cook for myself and he can order in or do whatever he wants, but he says that he likes my cooking and the fact that we cook together. He usually eats something the day it was made and that’s it. I am sick and tired of throwing away food. If I cook pasta he will eat to the point of bursting, but that’s about it. Of we order something, again, the bloating suddenly dissapears.

I love to bake, and I’ve baked some complicated things, like Ottolenghi stuff and usually I’ve recived a lot of compliments. He usually sees that I have done something and he will taste it, then go to his Nutella biscuits. I’ve thrown away something I’ve baked out of spite and he started crying.

I want to detach myself from this situation and I want to slowly start cooking only for one. I feel trapped. If he could only say that is fine and he will order himself whatever he wants and that’s it. When I cook, I always do something that he likes. And if I don’t buy him something to eat, he won’t will stuff himself with sugar.

I’ve tried to give him options, but he tells me he loves my cooking. I am not an expert and my dishes are not restaurant level, but I am a pretty decent cook.

I feel that sometimes he feels obligated to eat what I’ve cooked if it’s in the fridge, even though I’ve made it for me. Even told me once that he dreamt that I was chasing him with my stew at a food event. He told me it was only a dream and a joke, but it didn’t make me feel right, really.

TL;DR: Bf says he loves to cook together something we’ve both agreed upon, eats the day it is made, then stuffs himself with sugar saying that he is too bloated and can’t eat anything.