We all have that one friend who is a total disaster. You know the type. They are the “free spirit” who treats paying bills like an optional hobby and thinks disappearing to Mexico without telling anyone is a fun Tuesday activity. You love them because you have known them since you were ten, but you also know that being their friend requires a certain level of patience. One woman on Reddit is currently testing the limits of that patience, not because of her chaotic best friend, but because of the friend’s absolutely unhinged boyfriend.
The OP (Original Poster) describes her thirty-four-year-old friend, Summer, as a lifelong mess. Summer is the kind of person who got sent home from school for being barefoot and occasionally forgets to pay her phone bill, making her unreachable. The OP is used to this. She accepts it. However, Summer’s boyfriend, Will, clearly didn’t get the memo that dating Summer means dealing with radio silence every now and then.
The drama started on a Friday morning while the OP was at work. Will called, panicked because he couldn’t find Summer. The OP, knowing Summer likely just forgot to pay her bill again, told him not to worry and to have Summer call her when she popped back up. A normal person would say “okay thanks” and wait. Will is not a normal person. He called back immediately, demanding to know where Summer was. The OP explained she didn’t know and offered to call Summer’s parents to help.
This is where the story goes from “worried boyfriend” to “restraining order material.” Will didn’t just call a few times. He called the OP about fifty times. Let that sink in. Fifty calls. While she was at work. He was absolutely convinced the OP was hiding Summer, despite the fact that Summer has a decades-long history of flaking out. The OP tried to ignore it, but by the fifty-first call, she risked losing her job.
She finally answered and snapped. She told him, “Bro, STOP blowing up my phone! I don’t know where Summer is, and I’ll block you if I have to. You’re going to get me fired.” She then turned her phone off, which is the only logical response to being cyber-stalked by your best friend’s partner during business hours. You would think this would be the wake-up call Will needed to get a grip.
Instead, when Summer finally resurfaced—alive and well, just as predicted—she called the OP. But it wasn’t to apologize for her boyfriend’s manic episode. She called to put Will on the phone because he wanted an apology. He was offended that the OP accused him of “blowing up her phone.” Apparently, fifty missed calls constitutes a polite inquiry in his world.
The OP, rightly, refused. She told Summer that she wouldn’t apologize to her “milquetoast boyfriend” who she described as the “human equivalent of a dry ham sandwich.” That insult alone belongs in the Smithsonian. Summer hung up, and now the OP is wondering if she should have just swallowed her pride to save the friendship.
Let’s be incredibly clear here: Will wasn’t acting out of love; he was acting out of control. Calling someone fifty times is harassment. It is terrifying behavior. If he treats her best friend like this, imagine how he treats Summer when she forgets to text back. Demanding an apology after jeopardizing someone’s employment is the height of entitlement.
Summer needs to realize that her “free spirit” energy is being suffocated by a guy who has no respect for boundaries. The OP didn’t do anything wrong. She protected her peace and her paycheck. If anyone owes anyone an apology, it is the guy who spent his Friday acting like a robo-caller with an anger problem.
So, is the OP the ahole? Absolutely not. She was dealing with a frantic man-child while trying to do her job. The “dry ham sandwich” comment might have been harsh, but honestly, it sounds like the most accurate thing anyone has said to Will in a long time.
What would you do if your friend’s partner called you fifty times in a row? Would you apologize to keep the peace, or would you block them both and never look back? Let us know in the comments if you think the OP was too harsh!