Paying for higher education is one of the most stressful parts of modern parenting. You scrape, you save, and you pray your kid does not decide to major in something completely unmarketable. Parents who manage to save enough to put their children through school debt-free are basically superheroes. But a college fund is exactly that: a fund for college. It is not a blank check for an eighteen year old to buy a sports car or fund a luxury lifestyle. One mom on Reddit recently found out just how entitled her son felt about his tuition money, and the resulting temper tantrum is genuinely shocking.
The OP (Original Poster) is a mother who has been doing everything right. She has an eighteen year old son who is graduating high school. Since the very day he was born, she put a little bit of money away every single week. Over the course of eighteen years, she managed to save enough for him to go to college completely debt-free. She did the exact same thing for her other children. This is a massive financial sacrifice that takes serious discipline.
Her son is a bright kid and a very hard worker. His hard work paid off in the best possible way. He ended up getting a full-ride scholarship to his absolute dream school. The OP and her husband were insanely proud of him. They hit the parenting jackpot. All was going well, and he was ready to accept the offer, until the topic of the leftover money came up.
The OP casually mentioned to her son that since his tuition was completely covered, she would be able to use the money she saved for him to fix up their home and put the rest towards his siblings’ college funds. A normal, well adjusted young adult would say “That sounds great, mom” and be thrilled about his scholarship. Her son did not do that. He was caught off guard, got incredibly upset, and began to aggressively demand the money.
Over the next week, this legally adult man proceeded to throw a series of temper tantrums. He actually threatened to withdraw from his dream school and attend somewhere else just to spite his mother. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. He was willing to go into massive student debt just to force his mom to hand over the cash. But the entitlement did not stop at idle threats. It escalated into actual violence.
One night, he came home and immediately started yelling at his little sister. He grabbed the plate of food she was actively eating and launched it across the kitchen. The terrified little girl ran to her mother crying. When the son walked into the room and saw his mom comforting the sister he just assaulted with dinnerware, he sneered at her. He said, “Yeah hold your favorite child and ignore me. You b!tch.”
Then, he stormed out of the house. The OP has not heard from him since. He is completely ignoring all of her calls and text messages. Her husband is absolutely furious, as any good father would be, and has declared that the son needs to move out immediately. Honestly, the dad has the right idea. You do not get to terrorize your family, throw plates at a child, and verbally abuse your mother while living under their roof.
Because extended family members always have the absolute worst takes in these situations, a couple of relatives chimed in to tell the OP she is at fault. They claim she “promised” him the money and is now unfairly keeping it. Let us set the record straight right now. A college fund is a designated purpose fund. If the purpose is fulfilled by a scholarship, the money defaults back to the people who actually earned it. It is not an inheritance.
The OP is sitting at home crying. She is terrified that her son will reject his full ride, attend a different school, go into massive debt, and then demand she pay for it anyway. She is shocked by his anger and the vile name he called her. She is genuinely asking if she is the ahole and if she should just cave and give him the money to keep the peace.
She is absolutely not the ahole. Giving this kid tens of thousands of dollars after he acted like a violent, entitled toddler would be the worst parenting move in history. It would teach him that throwing plates and calling women derogatory names gets him exactly what he wants. He showed his true colors the moment he realized he was not getting an unearned payday.
What would you do if your kid demanded their college fund after getting a scholarship? Would you hand over the cash, or would you be packing up their childhood bedroom like this dad wants to do? Let us know in the comments if you think this kid deserves a single dime!