For me personally, I’m not okay with it. A recent negative experience with my OBGYN has completely changed my view on this, so I’m curious what other women think. I will personally never go see a male doctor again, not because of safety concerns personally, but I have found that male doctors lack empathy for female patients. So I want to hear feedback from other women. What do you think about this issue and what led you to this opinion?
ETA: Since everyone is bringing up really good points. My dad is a doctor and my mom is a nurse. I have always seen medical providers based on insurance, availability, schedule, knowledge, overall standard of care. I’ve never had a problem with male doctors until recently. My parents raised me to believe that any medical professional can provide a high level of care to any patient if that medical professional is knowledgeable and empathetic, and that you should not automatically decide your medical care team based on sex or gender. Recently, I have found a male gynecologist who I used to love and recommended to many other women, suddenly lacks empathy and it has shaken my faith in male doctors.
I posted about my experience here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Miscarriage/s/6o4NFZrtDR
Basically I had a miscarriage without realizing I was pregnant. Male OBGYN was cold and judgmental. I left the appointment sobbing and feeling like it was my fault. I likely got pregnant because I missed a pill while I was recovering from surgery, my male OBGYN said “you couldn’t walk but you could have sex? You’re killing me” said something about ‘you should be more careful with your dates’ or ‘you should let your dates know’ even though I told him I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months. This male gynecologist has also called me the wrong name several times (my last name looks like an anagram of a first name, it’s like calling me Shelby if my name was Elizabeth Shelly).
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I dont like going to them but I dont see anything wrong with it. Lots of women prefer men doctors.
Edit: SA history is why I dont go to them
I’ve had good experiences with male doctors. One of my best doctors was a male, he was so kind and empathic!
I have had no different experiences with male doctors than with female doctors.
I want a good doctor who listens to me like a person. I’ve had good experiences with both.
I’m fine with it. I currently have a male gyno and he is the best one I’ve ever had. Supportive and kind, thoughtful and not judgmental. He performed sterilization surgery on me in January with zero hassle.
Like everything in life, there isn’t typically a right or wrong. It comes down to personal preference and comfort.
I’ve had the reverse experience. I’ve only had positive experiences with a male OBGYN. My experiences with women obgyns have been very cold tbh
Why wouldn’t it be ok? I’ve dealt with less judgmental men doctors than women. But I go to whoever is nice and qualified. Doesn’t matter their gender. I had both amazing and shitty men and women doctors.
I would go to a male doctor for like dentistry or podiatry but not anything to do with OB/GYN or female anatomy. There is too much misogyny in medicine already.
I’ve had lots of male doctors, including my ob/gyn. I don’t really think it matters much, but if you have had a bad experience, then follow your gut. Always follow your gut!
I’ve had better experiences with male physicians than female physicians tbh. The male physicians seemed like they listened more to my concerns. However, I think the individual person matters more than their gender.
Regardless, what really matters is if YOU are comfortable with it. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a female physician if that’s what you need to feel comfortable.
ETA: I want to also say that sometimes a male physician is unavoidable (like in emergencies), but you should share your concerns with them beforehand if possible. Many physicians understand and will be able to provide you better care if they are aware of your concerns.
I don’t consider sex or gender when evaluating doctors.
They’re either a good doctor or a bad doctor. Doesn’t matter if they have a penis or vagina.
To be honest I’ve found the male doctors to be more sympathetic than the female ones!
All the female doctors, bar one, I’ve seen have had a very “well I deal with it and am fine so I don’t know what your problem is” approach when it comes to anything to do with periods.
What they fail to understand is I have PCOS and was bleeding non stop for like 3 months at a time, really really heavy with terrible cramps and it only stopped because I was forced to take double the recommended dose of Norethisterone which then made my hair fall out. It was a horrible choice to have to make.
Same thing when I was found to be infertile but didn’t know it at the time. All the women were very brusque.
The men though? They were really kind and sympathetic towards me the whole way through both and couldn’t do enough for me.
I don’t trust male doctors in ogbyn or male dentists or sungeons. Too many stories of SA while patients are under freaks me out. Sorry I just don’t trust men!
I think the personality of the person matters more than the sex. You can have super supportive male doctors and female doctors who say “That’s normal. Everyone goes through that. That’s having a period.” When you are in extreme pain and experiencing stuff that shouldn’t be considered normal.
I’ve had both. I’ve had bad experiences with both, so I judge on the person and how they treat me.
I have no feelings of male doctors treating female patients except for myself. My doctor is male and I’m more comfortable and feel less judged by him than I have some female doctors.
I personally don’t use male doctors if I can help it. This is in response to the studies showing doctors don’t acknowledge female pain to the extent that they acknowledge/treat male pain. I hope that by seeing a female doctor, she better understands that if I say I’m in pain, I’m in pain, and to not brush it aside.
I mean, if I hadn’t been OK with male doctors treating me, I’d have died on more than one occasion. So there’s that.
I do prefer to go to female medical professionals in general. That being said, my GP is a male and I really like him. Doctors are hard to find, especially a half decent one, so gender is a preference but not a deal breaker.
I’ve had poor experiences with female medical professionals as well but I just prefer them still. Doctors that are referrals, obviously I can’t change. But the people who I can choose, I try to seek out women
I’ve found that a male OB is more likely to listen and act on my concerns than a woman OB because (again, in my experience) men have deferred to me on how my body feels whereas women try to explain away my concerns.
I have a guy now and he’s awesome. I was a little skeptical at first because unlike the other male OB I had, this one is much younger. Over time I’ve realized that he’s much more progressive and proactive than the old guard.
I think it’s odd to paint an entire gender in a profession with the same brush. I have a male neurologist and a male acupuncturist and they have both been wonderful. Conversely, the only doctor who made me cry by being extremely dismissive was a woman.
Women are socialized to be more empathetic, patient and better listeners than men. Not all women are it – but in my experience as a black woman with several chronic medical conditions, my female doctors have given me the time of day in ways that male doctors have not. I know there are fantastic male doctors out there – I have worked with them and have trained alongside them and have trained them (I’m a female physician myself). But my experience at large has led me to always choose female over male and that’s not changing any time soon.
Personally, I always seek out women for similar reasons. That said, if a male doctor is the best option available, I’m okay with that. I’ve had some really positive man doctors.
Personally no problem. However that doesn’t give me the right to tell other women they should not have a problem.
One of the best doctors I ever saw who knew his stuff about GYN conditions was a male. He didn’t deal with OB and did only GYN. And had done fundamental research GYN conditions. So many OBGYNs just know more about the OB side. And really don’t know how to proper treat or diagnose GYN conditions.
A friend of mine was diagnosed with endometriosis. She never had the surgery to have an official diagnosis. When she finally had the surgery they learned she didn’t have endometriosis and she had a GI disorder. She spent years being treated for the wrong thing bc she was never properly diagnosed. Tht was a female doctor. However that doesn’t mean I think all female doctors are bad or incompetent. Just like I don’t think my experience makes it so all male doctors are great.
I have had more female doctors dismiss my concerns than male. I had one female tell me oh it isn’t that painful. I personally am still willing to see female doctors. Just won’t go back to them.
At the end of the day we all have our own personal preferences. Sometimes at the end of the day we have to do what is right for us. However that does not mean our choice is the only right choice and it is right choice for others. It might be the wrong choice for others. As long as we aren’t judging.
We all need to be comfortable and trust our doctors. And if you are more comfortable seeing a female doctors there is nothing wrong with that. Go out and find female doctors that you feel you are safe with and can trust.
My OBGYN is a woman. Two male OBGYNs completely dismissed my issues.
PCP is a woman, but I see men specialists for lots of things.
I’ve always preferred female doctors because experiences in my childhood (not SA-related) make me have issues around men and authority positions. My preference is a doctor I can relate to on more of a peer level. I have heard some women claim that they feel male doctors are more empathetic and vice versa. I feel like my OB-GYN has been empathetic to me not just from a medical and pain perspective but around more emotional stuff as well. I don’t know if I would get that from a male gyno.
For birth of my son my induction took a day and a half and labor 25 hours so I got a rotation of both male and female doctors. I didn’t feel there was a relationship between bedside and gender.
Note: Except the first male doctor shoved the prostaglandin insert excessively deep into me and the next two (female) doctors and several nurses commented that it must have been Dr. SoandSo based on that! I thought it seemed like a bit much and didn’t have a reference point until multiple professionals were commenting on it….
I had a male OBGYN for a few years. Once I was planning to have a baby and looking into who would deliver my baby and do my prenatal exams, I wanted to start seeing a midwife who are vast majority female. But overall positive experience all around. When I was pregnant I had one post anatomy scan appointment with another male OBGYN and I seriously loved him, he was amazing and I’d have felt perfectly comfortable seeing him again,
As we get farther away from the period of time when doctors were or at least prevalently male, I honestly find it very weird. Like if the doctor is under 50 I’m going to be grossed out. Why is it only when there’s opportunities to be intimately close to women’s private parts are men suddenly interested in women. HUGE pass
Most male doctors I know treated me well and respectful, and I’m totally fine with receiving treatment from them.
I personally won’t see a male PCP, OB, dermatologist, endo, or massage therapist due to previous SA. I’ve had the same experience where they write off symptoms as well.
I don’t mind seeing them for other things like dentist, eye doctor, etc. I do have a male Chiro but I went high school with him, so I feel comfortable.
Don’t care as long as they’re educated, up to date with women’s health and respectful. My Daughter’s pediatrician is a man and he’s great.
I was reluctant to see male doctors for female issues because they aren’t women so how can they truly understand? I saw a male endocrinologist who was the most amazing doctor I’ve ever been treated by. I was also hospitalized for 9 days prior to my preemie being born. I saw every single doctor including a few men and they were all wonderful.
The worst OB/GYN experiences I’ve had have all been with female doctors.
I read your other post, and to the comment about dates, I’d have assumed the doctor was talking about tracking your cycle, not your sexual activity.
I’m in the same boat in terms of not being sure if I’ll go back to a male doctor again. I do want to clarify that I’m sure there are many great doctors that are men and can show empathy to women, but I’m going off my personal experience. I find many times the men I’ve went to see have been very dismissive.
The breaking point for me though was a recent visit with a doctor that had the absolute worse bedside manner I’ve ever experienced. Of course any gender can have poor bedside manner, but it does feel like some of it was rooted in ego and lack of empathy.
I personally have had good gyn care from both male and female physicians. Do I feel more comfortable in the care of a woman? Maybe but I don’t think male doctors are less capable of empathy.
I see a lot of doctors and don’t generally see a difference in treatment by gender. Age seems to be the biggest factor in them still being interested in helping patients with younger being more empathetic but older sometimes being more knowledgeable. Some of the meanest, most dismissive doctors have been women. I always pick female OBGYNs though just because I feel I’m more likely to get embarrassed about that stuff talking to a male doc, though I’m not against seeing a male one if there was a reason to pick them instead.
I don’t care, EXCEPT for my psychiatrist. I had a “filed a complaint with the state” level bad experience with a much older male psychiatrist (not harassment or assault just EXTEMELY disrespectful and bigoted comments). I’m aware it’s irrational and the comments could theoretically be made by anyone but i just… can’t lmao.
I’ve had mixed experiences with doctors, PAs and nurses of both genders. But personally I will never see a male gynecologist, just my preference.
It really depends on the individual. I personally prefer to have a female GP and OBGYN. But I had a male pediatrician when I was a kid. The best neurologist I had was a man. The best dentists I’ve had were all men.
During my most recent visit to my GP’s office I got a different doctor. She wasn’t a good listener.
I had a bad experience with a male Gyn.. he was very inappropriate.. after that I never went to a male doctor.
I don’t go to make doctors ever if I can avoid it. I don’t think men belong in Gynecology.
My GP is male, he’s a Scottish immigrant to my country (Canada) he is phenomenal. But he admits Endo is out of his wheelhouse and referred me to an actual specialist who did my successful surgery. Problem is, it’s a year between visits with her, if not more. So she gives him extremely detailed notes from our visits with suggestions for variety of situations, so he can make educated decisions with me in between visits in any treatment options I may need.
For everything outside of Endo he’s been extremely proactive, even calling me at 10pm on a Friday night when his office couldn’t get me in, to assess whether I needed emergency care.
Believe it or not the most dismissive doctors along my journey with Endo were female gynecologists who had no education in it.
My male gynecologist provided the best care I’ve ever had in my lifetime. He agreed to sterilize me when I asked and never pushed back, told me I’d change my mind, or even asked if I was married or in a relationship. He simply affirmed my right to do whatever I want with my body.
I am a woman. Males can treat females and vice versa. Some doctors are just not as empathetic as others, some seem to have chronic foot in mouth syndrome, and it can be either sex. I’ve met some female doozies.
I ask my friends and colleagues who they like as doctors. You can go to the Reddit for your home area and ask for recommendations there, too.
>>you should have told him
He’s right. If you miss a pill, follow the instructions for what to do for at least the next week.
>>been together for 8 months
That is not nearly long enough to know if you want a permanent relationship with someone.
I’m really sorry you experienced what you did. Don’t let it deter you from seeking care from someone else whenever you need it. Some people, including some docs, are just not very good when they need to be.
I’m not okay with it, especially male gynecologists.
My best doctors ever were males. The women are so freaking dismissive. Finding a female gyno around here is just not possible either.
well its okay if you don’t want to use male doctors, but to say that the whole concept of male doctors treating female patients “isn’t okay” is a bit wild imo
My rheumatologist is the greatest doctor I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve had some exceptional care over the years. Retirement (for him) is the only thing that could keep me away from his practice. My children have a male pediatrician who is also phenomenal and brings new research to appointments all the time!
It doesn’t make a huge difference to me. I’ll evaluate medical professionals on a case by case basis. But I can absolutely understand why some other women might prefer seeing women doctors.
I typically don’t have a strong preference in either direction, but in particular scenarios, I prefer one over the other.
Anything regarding treatment of pain, injury, or illness, I’ve noticed that men tend to be very dismissive of me or feel the need to explain things to me as if I am a child. I once walked around with a MRSA infection in my ears for four months because my doctor was negligent in listening to me when I told him how much pain I was in, and did not test me after multiple rounds of antibiotics until my husband asked. I didn’t think to ask for a culture and was grateful my husband attended my last appointment. After discovering that it was MRSA, he demanded that my doctor apologize to me for not listening and threatened legal action if I had any permanent damage of hearing loss. The doctor called and apologized to me, and offered to make time for me any day I needed if I asked to be seen for any reason.
I’ll always request a female doctor if I had the choice. If not, it’s out of my hands.
I prefer to see female physicians. I don’t have a problem with male doctors treating anyone BUT my personal experiences with male doctors have involved assault, misdiagnosis, unnecessary surgery and so much condescension and attitude that I simply won’t do it anymore. Add that to study after study that shows women have a higher survival rate when treated by female physicians and I’m going to stick with my preference.
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-care/women-are-less-likely-die-treated-female-doctors-study-suggests-rcna148254
I’ve only had about 3 good experiences with male doctors — one of which was my former OBGYN. This is to say that I mostly only look to get treated by female doctors as much as I can. I’ve had more positive experiences with them overall, despite a few bad eggs who were very dismissive.
I picked my doctor because she’s a woman, and brown. I’m middle eastern myself. Been with her for years.