We all have that one family member who spends a little too much time on the internet. You know exactly who I am talking about. It is the guy who turns every single holiday dinner into a heated political debate and cannot stop complaining about how everything is suddenly ruined by modern culture. But one guy on Reddit recently found the absolute perfect way to mess with his overly political relative and the results are completely hilarious.
The Original Poster has a cousin who is absolutely famous for making incredible chili. The guy does not just open a can of store bought ingredients. He makes his own chili flakes from a secret combination of dried chilies to get the perfect kick. He also always adds kidney beans to the mix. These are not cheap canned beans either. He takes his chili crafting very seriously.
But over the past two or three years, this cousin developed a highly annoying new personality trait. He became completely obsessed with all this bullsh!t about what is or is not considered woke. He constantly complains that woke things are bringing about the end of the world. He was always a good dude before this bizarre transition, so his family has no idea what his deal is, but the obsession is incredibly grating.
While hanging out at the cousin’s place recently, the Original Poster watched him cook his famous chili and got a brilliant idea for a prank. He casually looked at his cousin and mentioned he was surprised the guy still put beans in his chili. When the confused cousin asked why, the Original Poster completely deadpanned that beans in chili are incredibly woke and everyone is talking about it.
The cousin was genuinely concerned and asked for an explanation. The Original Poster spun an absolute masterpiece of a lie. He claimed that original conservative Texans only used meat and chili peppers. He then boldly stated that San Francisco liberals started adding beans in the sixties because of vegetarian hippies, and now woke scientists are pushing beans as a better protein source. It was a flawless fake history lesson.
The Original Poster fully assumed his cousin would realize he was just f*cking with him. They have a long history of pranking each other and joking around. But the cousin was suspiciously quiet for the rest of the dinner. The true impact of the prank was not revealed until the very next weekend when the cousin invited everyone over for another batch of chili.
The Original Poster looked in the pot and realized it was a totally different recipe. The guy had been making his signature dish with beans for fifteen years, but this time the pot was completely bean free. When asked about the missing ingredient, the cousin looked him dead in the eye and proudly stated that he does not f*ck with that woke sh!t.
The entire room was completely baffled. The Original Poster immediately broke character and admitted he was just f*cking with him the previous week. Instead of laughing at the harmless prank, the cousin completely lost his mind. He got absolutely furious, dumped the entire pot of chili straight down the kitchen sink, and kicked everyone out of his house.
The aftermath is even more unhinged. The cousin later texted to say he actually researched the topic online and was devastated to discover that beans are in fact not woke. He accused his relative of going too far and claimed the prank made him question his chili. The Original Poster tried to point out how ridiculous it is to care this much about internet buzzwords, but the cousin just demanded a formal apology.
The internet is collectively wheezing at this entire saga. You are definitely not an ahole for exposing how ridiculous this culture war nonsense has become. If you are willing to ruin your own signature recipe and dump a whole pot of dinner down the drain just to avoid a liberal legume, you need to log off the internet immediately. What is the most ridiculous thing your family members have argued about? Let us know in the comments below!