Working from home changed the landscape of corporate life forever. For a lot of families, it meant converting kitchen tables into makeshift desks and learning how to mute audio when the dog starts barking. It requires a massive amount of patience and flexibility from everyone living under the same roof. Unfortunately, one father on Reddit completely missed the memo on flexibility and decided to treat his tiny apartment like a heavily guarded public library.
The Original Poster is a husband and father who recently transitioned to a work from home schedule. He lives in a relatively small apartment with his wife and their two toddler aged children. Toddlers are notoriously chaotic creatures. Multiply that chaos by two, trap everyone in a small living space, and you have a recipe for constant background noise. That is just the reality of raising twins in tight quarters.
But this dad refuses to accept reality. Because they do not have a dedicated home office, he is working out in the open. Instead of buying a high quality pair of noise canceling headphones like a rational adult, he decided to place an impossible demand on his family. He expects one hundred percent absolute silence while he is on the clock.
He complained that the normal sounds of human existence are slowly p!ssing him off. What exactly are these highly offensive noises? He listed his wife talking, watching television, and the kids simply playing in the other room. He even admitted that his family is actively trying to be quiet, but he still gets mad when he hears them walking around, cleaning, or making food. He literally expects his wife and children to stop eating and walking just so he can send emails in total peace.
The situation eventually hit a boiling point. The dad got completely fed up with hearing his family exist and decided to tell his wife off. He proudly pulled out the ultimate toxic provider card, loudly declaring that he is the one working and paying for everything in the family. He told her the absolute least they could do is give him peace and quiet while he does his job.
His views on his wife’s role in the household are straight out of a different century. He stated that because she is a stay at home mom, it is her literal job to be silent and shut the kids up. He completely ignores the fact that her workplace is also that exact same small apartment. Keeping two toddlers quiet all day is a physically impossible task, but he insists that if he loses his job, it will be entirely her fault for not silencing the twins.
If you thought his remote work demands were bad, wait until you hear about his after hours parenting philosophy. He took a massive detour to complain about how his wife treated him before the remote work era began. He whined that when he used to commute, she would ask him to do chores and take care of his own children after he clocked out. He felt this was deeply unfair because he was obviously tired and needed to wind down and relax for the night.
The weaponized incompetence bleeds right into the weekends too. He complained that even on his days off, he is still expected to help out around the house. Whenever she asks for a break, he quickly reminds her that taking care of the kids is her job as a stay at home mom. He genuinely believes his financial contribution completely exempts him from changing diapers, doing dishes, or acting like a present father.
His wife is absolutely not backing down from this fight. She correctly pointed out that these are his kids and his home too. She expects him to act like a partner. But the dad feels incredibly hurt by her perfectly reasonable expectations. He claims she does not appreciate how hard he works or consider his feelings at all, constantly reminding her that he puts the roof over their heads and food on the table.
He actually had the nerve to say it hurts that she disturbs his work and expects him to do more work afterwards. Being a parent is a full time job that does not end at five in the evening. You do not get to punch out of fatherhood just because you pay the electric bill.
The internet did not hold back and universally crowned this guy a massive a**hole. If you need total silence to function, you need to go rent a coworking space or put on some heavy duty headphones. You cannot demand that a mother and two toddlers sit like statues in a small apartment all day long. Earning a paycheck is important, but it does not buy you the right to treat your family like a nuisance. This dad needs a massive reality check before his wife decides her job description no longer includes being married to him.
I think both adults need to actually grow up and start thinking of each other…..
The wife is correct and doesn’t need to grow up. After work he should be helping out with the kids and the house and also on the weekends. He expects the wife to work 24/7 while he only works 40 hours a week. I am sure the wife is trying to keep the kids quiet while he works in the other room but even that is impossible.