It’s 2025 and I feel like the times are changing and woman are more independent than ever. Would love to hear how you ladies handled the name change after marriage 🙂
It’s 2025 and I feel like the times are changing and woman are more independent than ever. Would love to hear how you ladies handled the name change after marriage 🙂
Comments
“We” are doing whatever we feel is the best choice for our relationships. There is no one rule for all women.
Hqhahahaha absolutely not. But I also won’t get married. Most I’d ever do is like Peltz Beckham and use both. If it’s that important than he can have my name lol
Do what feels right for you but I’m never changing my name
I just added my spouse’s last name to the end of mine. I like my last name better, but wanted to have a unified name as well.
So I went from Jane Marie Doe to Jane Marie Doe Smith. I just use them interchangeably.
No
I took my husband’s last name, with no kids & no plans for kids. That’s just how I grew up imagining marriage; when I had a crush I doodled “Mrs Whoever”. But I’m the only one out of the 6 couples we’re friends with, so keeping your name is definitely the default these days. Do whatever feels / sounds right for you.
I did, but I am not in contact with my father and don’t hold any sentimentality in that name.
I wanted to, because I like my husband’s surname better than mine. But the paperwork was such a headache that I never got around to it.
Nope never did. My sisters and I never changed our last names (we all got married within the last 1-7 years).
Sisters and I are also super close to our dad and wanted to carry his name with us forever since we knew our children would have our husbands last names!
It’s totally up to you. One of my friends changed her last name and the rest of my friends didn’t.
No, I didn’t. Nor did my mother.
Back when my mother decided to keep her name and my father added her name to his, this was all new (before it wasn’t even allowed). When I was born, I only got hers.
So when I decided to marry, I was damn sure about not making a step back and giving up on that name, which is deeply rooted in local history.
My husband decided to keep his as well to avoid all the paperwork of changing it.
We’re happy, and everyone has the name they are used to.
I kept my last name. A lot of people assumed it was a feminist/anti-patriarchy decision but the truth was I just didn’t’ really like his last name. 😅 I also didn’t want to go through the paperwork hassle. Now, I’m even more glad I didn’t change my name for the reasons people originally assumed. And also because of the SAVE act, I don’t want to create any reason for my vote to get taken away.
I regretted it when I did with my first marriage. I say no, don’t do it. I changed my name with my second husband because we have two kids but ideally I wish I had never changed my name.
If any woman in the US is in this thread, please, please, look at the SAVE Act and what the ramifications are for married women whose name no longer matches what is on their birth certificate and how that will impact your right to vote. It has the potential to disenfranchise millions of people, including women who either took their husband’s name or a different name (hyphenated, combo’d, etc) upon marriage.
I am not American. If I get married, I plan to either hyphenate or move my current last name to a middle name and take my partner’s name. Personal choice, and I would have no issue keeping my name as is, either. I have heard it can be a potential issue when kids are added to the picture by having a different last name than the mother or father. Something to consider.
I wanted to hyphenate to match my kids, but then we split up and never married and now in legitimation and custody wars he got a judge to deny my request to change their name, even to a hyphenation, so now until they’re 18 I won’t match my kids on paper and even then, I only would if they chose to take on mine themselves :):):):):):)
I changed mine because I have no real connection to my father’s family. I like my husband’s family better. If I had my mom’s name I might feel differently.
Do what works for you.
Nah, not yet. When our baby is born I miiiight change my name so we all have the same last name.
But we are also considering making a new last name for our family that mu husband and I will both adopt, and give to the baby.
I took my husband’s last name because I was still young in my career and his was more marketable.
I love my husband dearly but didn’t even consider changing my surname. We are still a family even with different names.
I didn’t change my name when I got married. I didn’t like the idea of removing my identity for his.
I changed my last name after marrying.
But not to my husband’s name. I changed the spelling of mine by a letter to a more locally common spelling so I wouldn’t have my father’s name anymore.
I did and I’m happy with my decision. I didn’t like the sound of my last name, and no one could spell or pronounce it. I did keep it as a middle name. I like that we share one name as a family, especially now that we have a kid. I like the sound of my husband’s last name with my first name and it is one that everyone can easily spell. It felt like changing my name when I got married was the beginning of an exciting new chapter.
People should do whatever makes them happy and makes sense for their relationship!
No. My bloodlines end with me and I will be carrying that name till I die.
I changed mine, but was already thinking about changing it before I met my husband. I never thought my first and last name went together particularly well. I don’t really care about keeping that family name and I’m certainly not the last one with that name. When I met my husband, one of my initial thoughts was that, if things worked out….I wouldn’t mind taking his last name. My name goes better with it. Things worked out and I changed my name. Zero regrets.
I did, because it was important to me that our family unit have a single shared name. I had no pressure to do so — my husband was actually surprised when I told him what I had chosen to do!
Yes, I have but won’t do it again. I have already told my husband that in case of divorce I’m keeping it as it’s too much hassle. However I do feel that with kids it’s easier if we all have the same name.
I kept my name. I liked my name, didn’t care to change it, created less hassle for me.
I didn’t change my name. It’s my family’s name, why would drop it?
I didn’t change mine. I like my name and I just had no desire to change it. It wasn’t important to me.
I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It’s against the law in my province.
Haven’t met my husband yet but planning to
Yes, I took his name because I like traditions 🩷
Married and fuck no. I offered him my last name because it’s fewer syllables but he said no.
I think people overlook what is clearly the best option of just making up a new surname for both of you. “Hello, yes, we’re the Stormwizards”
I’m not bothering to date so it’s unlikely. Honestly I don’t know – my name is already hyphenated since my mom kept part of her maiden name, and it is a bit clunky to be honest, so I can see the appeal of having just one last name. There is appeal in a couple making their own new last name, but that also would be an issue for those already established in their career and known by their current name.
Yet with the whole possibility that women who did change their name due to marriage being unable to vote in the US, plus being a feminist, that alone is more than enough of an argument for keeping it.
Fwiw, my aunt also hyphenated, and yet she’d always get called Mrs. (Her husband’s last name), since her kids have his last name.
No
I did not. My last name is my last name. I did not change as a person when I got married.
I am curious to see what others say here. This was a huge debate with my ex bc I did not want to change my name at all…
Also my name is not Western and his is so it would not sound nice at all
I did but my husband also did a name change in solidarity. We both have his last name and my maiden name is both of our second middle name.
I won’t.
I did not change my name. I like my name. It also made it easier to get divorced when that time comes.
My mother married a man who legally adopted me, including changing my last name. Later he sexually assaulted me. So yeah, when I got married I dropped that last name like a hot potato. Too bad there’s no way to fix my birth certificate that they changed.
I didn’t change my name when I married. I was 36, had an established career and just didn’t want to. My husband didn’t care either way. My in-laws made a few comments but it’s not their business, really. We have two kids and many of their friends’ mothers kept their maiden names so no one is bothered here in my blue state.
I recommend looking at the SAVE act. It could impact as many as 69 million americans whose names don’t match their birth certificates.
No and I’m probably not getting married, I’ll be with my partner for however long, lifelong even, but yeah
I ended up taking my husband’s last name in the name of tradition and honestly b/c I like it better
I did not. I have a perfectly fine name.
Not for me
I took my husband’s last name because I wanted no association with my father. Plus it was a difficult to pronounce last name and I was made fun of for years because of it.
Over my dead body. Speaking as a married woman.
I haven’t. I even think about giving my first born my last name but we will see when that happens.
I did because I like my husband’s last name better. But, if I were getting married in the US today, I probably wouldn’t (for reasons outlined by another commenter).
I did and I couldn’t have been happier to do it. I felt proud to be his Mrs.
I’m getting married this summer and I’m changing my name but purely because his sounds better and our names combined would be awful.
I did because my maiden name is so long. It was a huge pain in the ass, and people still spell my short married name wrong.
If he wants us to have matching names so badly, he can change his.
My name belongs to me, and I will never change it.
Hell no, never wanted to even when I was a kid, my mom didn’t change it just to avoid unneeded paperwork. I didn’t change it because I earned all my degrees. It surprises me how many independent and educated woman go ahead and change it in this day and age.
Edit: also a good red flag finder when they demand it and won’t let the issue go.
I did because I wanted to-got married in 2023.
I married in 1999 and did not change my name. Didn’t see a reason to.
I was indifferent to it, so I didn’t change mine for years. When I was hired in my last position of employment (a religious institution), the bossman insisted I should change it for optics. At the time, I thought, well, I guess I should’ve done this years ago, so I guess I’ll go take care of it.
Now that I’m older, I look back at that and think that even if I didn’t care which name I had, I should’ve been furious that the bossman was telling me what to do. I haven’t regretted changing my name because of having the name itself, though. I just wish I had added my maiden name in as a second middle name, because I didn’t get married to erase any piece of who I was.
No. It’s a waste of time and money.
Thanks but no thanks!
I did and had no problems with it. I had/have zero attachment to my maiden name. I have a friend who also changed her last name when she married because she “didn’t want people from high school finding her,” but she also has a really toxic family and didn’t want to keep her maiden name.
Getting married soon and I am not by. SO supports this decision and even supports our future children taking my last name. I felt more attached to my last name than he did with his. The hyphenation of our last names sounds awful. I don’t love the patriarchal context of last names. However I support any decision, whether it’s keeping or changing names, a person makes, and don’t judge!
I did, but I was going to change it anyway since I didn’t want any ties to my father in any way, shape, or form. This is before SAVE Act was floated so I’m not sure what to do about this except my passport and accept the situation. I’m happy that I just don’t have my father’s last name/
I live in Quebec, I cannot change my last name after marriage even if it wanted to. It’s great tbh.
Nope. Mostly because everytime I look at everything I need to change after that, I get sleepy 😂 and I love my last name!
I changed my name 20 years ago when I got married. I’m never changing it again ever for anyone (hell I won’t even change it back to my maiden name… too much of a hassle)
I haven’t and probably never will lol
I did, but I had a weird relationship with my maiden name (not my bio dad’s last name) and taking my then-husband’s last name felt right for me. Now I’m divorced but have a child with my ex-husband so I kept my married name for that and because it’s how I’m known professionally. If I ever get married again, I could see myself hyphenating or just adding on a second last name to maintain that connection with my child while honoring the new union and having a connection to any children that may come of it, which is what I’d want if I ever remarry.
I plan too, I just have ADHD and haven’t gotten around to getting new IDs with my married name yet
If I married a guy with the last name, “Schauer,” I would totally take his name and change my first name to “Anita.” 😁
I suggested once to my boyfriend that if we ever get married, we should swap last names! He didn’t immediately turn my idea down… 🤔
I would absolutely change it but I am already on my third last name because it was changed by my mom when I was very young.
I haven’t been particularly attached to any of the three last names I’ve had.
I was going to, it didn’t end up happening for a number of reasons, and now I’m getting divorced so I’m glad I didn’t 🙃
I didn’t, and my daughter has my last name.
Nope lol
No
Nope. And now that I’m going to be divorced, I don’t have to change it again. My name is my name, I change it because I want to, not because I got married
I regret changing mine.. about to divorce and want to go back to my maiden name
I kept mine. My husband decided that having a shared family name was more important to him than his attachment to his name… so he took mine.
I’m changing my middle name to my maiden name for professional reasons and taking my fiancé’s last name. I’m not particularly close with my family and nobody ever spells my last name correctly even though it’s super generic and common.
I changed my name on my marriage license but never got around to changing my drivers license, social security, IRS or passport. Some documents and credit accounts have my married name, others don’t. It’s kind of a mess. I wish I’d never changed it anywhere.
I changed my name socially, but not legally. I use my legal name professionally and my married name for everything else. If/when we have a kid, I’ll change it legally
Nope! I did not change my name.
No, I’m about to have a doctorate. He ain’t earned that.
I changed mine and I regret it. I was 34 when I got married and was already established in my career with my maiden name. I am very happily married but I honestly wish I would have kept my name. Just my two cents.
I’ll be changing mine after I get married in June but it’ll be a long process lol
I did, but wouldn’t recommend it unless you intend to have kids. It’s such a huge headache. After my divorce I didn’t change it back simply because jumping through all those hoops and paperwork isn’t worth the trouble.
I didn’t change mine and it never caused any problems. I know a few women who have married and divorced multiple times and done the name change each time- the amount of time and money they wasted on that is tragic to me.
I’d be careful now, if you like being able to vote you might want to hang onto your name or make sure you have the capacity to update all your documents in case the SAVE act passes. At the end of the day it’s a personal choice and we all do what feels best. If my husband had a cooler last name I might have gone for it 😂
i plan to.
i do not want my father’s last name. i want no association with that man. im changing it for me, not for my partner. and he knows that.
i realize i can change my name at any point in time; however, im not creative or original enough for that.
Nope. Been married 10 years don’t plan on it.
Didn’t change.
I did, it was easy and I’m happy with it.
Do what you want, there’s really no advantage to changing it.
My wonderful husband said all he wanted was for us to have the same last name. I had always wanted to hyphenate (I love my maiden name) but I respected the fact that that was something deeply personal for him AND he let me choose. It wasn’t that he wanted me to have HIS last name it was that we shared one. Because of some family reasons on his side and similarities to my maiden name, I did decide to take his name. I don’t have regrets, but I do miss it.
Do what’s right for you ❤️
Yes, I did change my last name, although I waited over a year bc we did the wedding after the court ceremony, and I was kind of lazy.
I always liked the idea of sharing a name with the person you want to share your life with .
Although I’m not the biggest fan of my FIL so I’d probably appreciate it more if he was a better guy 🤣 it’s whatever, though.
I got married in my early 20s, so my married name has been me my adult life. My maiden name was on my bachelor’s degree, but after college, I was a married woman 🤷♀️
I changed my last name the first time I got married and I regretted it. My then-husband really pushed to have me take his name.
Recently got remarried and was very upfront that I would never ever change from my original last name again. Luckily my new husband is from a culture where most women keep their last names.
With the SAVE act coming up, I’m really glad I have my original name.
I’m Firstname Middlename Maidenname Marriedname.
I go by Firstname Marriedname but on all legal documents and official paperwork (and my notary stamp) Im the whole thing.
I was just shy of 29 when I got married and My dad’s last name ends with me. Im the youngest alive that was born with it. My degree is under that.
I couldn’t give it up
I did not change my last name. I love my name and it feels too integral a part of me to change.
Never ever ever. Even before all this shit with the voting laws went down… my name is my own.
Not married but if I did, no I would not.
I got married in 2016 and changed my last name to my spouse’s, and made my maiden name my middle name. Honestly, I regret it. I wish I’d just kept my name as it was.
He took my name. It’s both prettier and I have published under it.
Yes I am taking his last name and I’m excited for it but also a little bittersweet because of the change.
I see zero reason to change one’s name when married. I did not change mine when I got married. Never seemed to cause an issue. Now that I’m getting divorced from the abusive arse I’m SO thankful I don’t have his generic name.
To me it seems like a way for men to keep reminding women they are less then. Can’t take the women’s name. Has to be the man’s name. It can destroy a women’s progression in industry as people no longer know the woman with the new name. It costs decent money that typically the woman pays for (that I have seen) both when married and divorced.
It’s a big not happening for me. At this point it’s a red flag if someone insists on it.