This was when I was 17. She was 16 and she was friends with my sister.
I was up late drinking in my room (parents were hardly present). I was just in my bed watching a show. This was late at night.
She came into my room and sat next to me on my bed. Her elbow was touching me and it felt amazing. I grabbed her into a hug. I could feel her trying to get out of the hug but I did not let go. Then she said she wanted to go back to bed. I still did not let go right away but after a minute I did.
So she got up and was standing in my doorway. I asked her what she was doing and she called me a creep.
In the morning I woke up horribly embarrassed. I was also paranoid that she would tell people about me.
To this day, these thoughts keep me up at night. I have sudden intense anxiety when it comes up in my mind. I keep wondering about a lot of things. I never trust myself and I have thoughts that I’m ashamed of.
Comments
Was it sexual? Was it just being intensely lonely? Did you ever apologize?
😕
You’ve seen her since?
This is definitely something to bring up to a therapist to unpack. I suggest talking to them about this story and the “I never trust myself and I have thoughts that I’m ashamed of”
“Her elbow was touching me and it felt amazing”
Perhaps the most teenage sentence I’ve ever read lol
It’s SO tough. These memories… they linger. Confronting the past, especially when actions have caused pain, it’s something I can only imagine how difficult it must be. I’m not a therapist, obviously, but it sounds like you’re genuinely struggling and I see how much you’re wrestling with it. Seeking help, from a professional, of course, would offer a space to process those feelings and develop ways to cope with anxiety and shame. Seriously, it’s brave of you to acknowledge the pain. Just… please remember you’re not alone, and there’s strength in reaching out, it’s not a sign of weakness, but a testament to your willingness to heal
I mean a cuddle with a struggle for a half a minute isn’t worth losing your mind about, use better judgment next time, and don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Just don’t do it again.
You didn’t hurt her. You had a weak”being human” moment.
Life can be so desolate sometimes. It’s ok , no harm done. Move on. Good luck
We I first read the title I thought you had kidnapped her and kept her locked up for two days.
If you haven’t done anything like this since I honestly don’t think you need to be beating yourself up. It’s good that you recognise that this is anti social behaviour.
You wanted to toss her on the bed and hump her leg, but you knew you would get in trouble.
Yeah you shouldn’t have done that. Is there any way you can apologise to her?
Idk why there are comments saying it wasn’t a big deal, because that’s the type of teenage memory that would, at the time and later on, make me feel I almost got sexually assaulted. But it is something that you remember as an inappropriate situation you put her in and that you don’t seem to want to do again, so it’s one of those things where we fuck up but it doesn’t make us a horrible person or something
Meh.
Next time say, “Do what you came to do, or get out.”
all these comments saying it’s not a big deal jesus christ. a teenage girl held by a drunken almost-man (teenage boys can be very strong) who WOULDN’T LET HER GO. jeeesus. and no talking no apology no explanation. she had NO idea what was going through his head.
You creep!!! Lol just kidding of course. I think tell her. It’ll take this weight off your shoulder.
You’re dangerous.
That’s not weird at all
EDIT: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC 😭😭😭😭
17 is old enough to no better by a large margin. You are absolutely a creep.
Move on.
You were a kid and hugged someone too long. It’s weird , but just forgive yourself and move past it . I doubt you did any damage at all.
You live and learn. If you hurt her my response would be different. I’m glad you felt embarrassed and realized you crossed a line the next day.
Perks of becoming a hermit, no awkward social situations.
Wtf was her deal with wandering into your room uninvited and unannounced? And ya, shame on you for not catching the hint(not really a hint since you knew) and letting her go. But women can be weird.
I’ve had them tell me “no” and then when I stop flirting/giving them attention they get all pissed off and ask what my problem is. Uhhh you acted like the attention was making you uncomfortable so I backed off. “You’re supposed to make me want you” is the response I’ve gotten. NOPE, I’m out.
Both of you acted strange that night.
I think we need to stop confessing to things like this on reddit and try to make amends with that person or talk to a therapist.. it will just make you feel worse if everyone starts calling you those names yet again.
Hey man, you’re not a creep. You experienced a defining fork in your path, and ultimately chose to go in the right direction.