I’ll start at the beginning. Last year, a co-worker confessed that they had fallen for me. This came as a big surprise to me, I thought that we just got along well at work. I told them I didn’t see them that way and actually that I was surprised as they had been with their partner a long time and I always assumed they were very happy. I told them not to be so silly to jeopardise their happiness doing things like this. I put the whole thing down to a midlife blip, but things were awkward. My boss offered to move me onto some different work, but I thought things would be ok. We’ve never spoken outside of a work setting.
Fast forward to this year, things seemed normal after a long time of me giving some space. We had a work function, I ended up paralytic drunk. The doctor had given me some new meds that I didn’t realise interacted with alcohol, I was out of control. I was falling over drunk, covered in bruises. After the function, this person started telling me they liked me again and apparently at some point I kissed them and invited them back to my room, things I can’t remember. A total mess. Fortunately they declined.
My coworker’s partner had us followed and the whole episode was caught on camera.
Their partner called me, I spoke with them. I told them it was a huge mistake, I didn’t ever have eyes for their partner and that I was sorry. Of course I understand why they are angry, I would be furious too. It turns out they are married. My coworker left the company. Their partner told me they had us followed because they didn’t trust me.
I’ve barely eaten or slept since it happened, I don’t know what to do. I feel like everything is too much for me now. The partner is demanding money from me, I think I’m being blackmailed. I don’t have money to pay them. I know that I shouldn’t have lost control of myself like this, it was very out of character. I don’t know how to cope or what to do. I know my behaviour was very wrong, but I can’t take it back and I can’t put it right. I can’t forgive myself for being involved in the breakdown of their relationship. I’m disgusted with myself.
How do I get through this?