The past couple weeks I’ve been forcing myself to throw up anytime I feel like I’ve ate too much. I’ve struggled with eating disorders my whole life and lately it’s been very bad. Anytime my stomach feels too full or I feel big and gross, I force myself to throw up. I can’t help it anymore. Last night, my boyfriend picked up on what I’ve been doing and told me I need to stop. He got very upset with me and then I got upset that he was upset with me about it. Ever since I got down to a certain weight, I can’t help but feel like i need to stay at that number or go lower. I’m constantly thinking about my weight and how I look. I don’t know how to stop. It’s not like I eat that much either. I have horrible eating habits, but when I do eat a lot and feel bad about it, I throw up or I’ll run until I burn as many calories as I feel that I ate. I always feel like I need to be the skinniest in the room, but why? I don’t know why I do this.