I’m kind of at a loss here, so I’m hoping you all can help me out. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 10, and we have 4 beautiful daughters – ages 8, 5, 3, and 1.
My husband is what you’d call a “guy’s guy” and he’s into all of the stereotypical guy things – cars, heavy metal, football, the outdoors, and all the power tools you could imagine. But here’s the thing: he’s never once been disappointed to have all girls. Not once. He’s a great dad – super involved, patient, and loves spending time with them. I mean, he has long hair and lets them style it and put pink sparkly bows in it. They have him wrapped around their little fingers. And when people ask him if he wishes he had a son, he always says girls can do anything boys can do. Just because he has daughters doesn’t mean he won’t take them fishing or teach them how to use a wrench. And they love him so much, he’s like the sun in their sky.
So here’s where I’m at – he’s taking our two oldest girls camping in May. Just the three of them. They’ll be camping for 2 nights at a state park, only about 45 minutes away. He’s an expert camper, but we haven’t been in years, and our oldest only vaguely remembers our last trip. He usually goes camping with friends a few times a year, and he’s actually gone on his annual spring trip right now. It’s something the girls have been begging to do, and they were so sad when he left this week so to make them feel better he said he’d take them next month. So he decided to take them in late May.
I’m staying home for a few reasons. I’m not a huge fan of camping, and we just found out I’m pregnant again (not exactly planned), so sleeping on the ground doesn’t sound like fun to me right now. Plus, I’d have to find a sitter for our two youngest for two nights, and I’d rather not. I don’t want to tell my mom that this is the big reason I’m not going – she’s been judgmental each time I’ve announced a pregnancy other than my first one.
My 8-year-old is SO excited about the trip. She’s been telling everyone she knows, but when she told my mom, she immediately reacted negatively. My mom basically told her it was “inappropriate” for her to go camping with her dad. My daughter was so upset that she cried, and I was honestly shocked. I asked my mom what the big deal was, and she said it was wrong for a man to go camping with two girls – that they’d be sharing a tent, and it wasn’t “right” for them to be sleeping in the same area as him. She even said people would think he’s a kidnapper or something.
Now, I get that my mom can be conservative about some things, but this? It feels a little extreme, even for her. She’s disgusted by the whole idea and can’t believe I’m “allowing” it. So now I’m apparently a bad mom, and my husband is a pervert.
I’m honestly fine with it. I trust him completely, and I don’t think there’s anything inappropriate about a dad camping with his daughters. Heck, one of our daughters sleeps between us every night, and that’s totally normal. The only concern I’ve voiced to my husband is that he’ll end up doing all the work setting up the campsite – because, let’s be real, our girls aren’t exactly helping with that!
But now I’m starting to wonder… do other people think this is weird or inappropriate? If you saw a dad camping with two young girls, would you think something strange was going on, or would you just assume he’s their dad taking them on a fun trip?
I’m really curious what others think.
Comments
wtf is wrong with her??
Don’t listen to your Mom. She’s being ridiculous
I think your mom watches too much true crime. This is pretty normal thing to do for outdoorsy parents. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten the girls involved with scouts too
Sounds like good family time, I wouldn’t think anything’s weird.
Your mom is an insane person. As a girl dad myself, I’m offended so deeply on his behalf
No don’t let your mom put her nasty thoughts in your head. And I thinks I time to make your mom stay away and not talk about that in front of the kids.
Unfortunately your mothers wisdom is incorrect in this situation. Borderline toxic. Do not take her advice I repeat do not take her advice. Your husband deserves to spend quality time with HIS daughters.
You’re mom is wrong and projecting something onto your husband that has nothing to do with him.
Ignore her and tell her she can either be a supportive person in your life or she’ll find herself far from your inner circle.
Your mom is wildly wrong here. Like wow. Your husband should be deeply offended. This is totally normal and so freaking cool
Your mother sounds like she’s projecting. Your husband sounds like a dope father who wants to create memories, don’t let it get ruined by your mom.
I’m sorry your mom is being weird and sexualizing her grandkids and son in law.
your husband sounds like a great father!
would it be any different had the kids been male?
uuuuf, maybe granny should stop projecting past things or hard situations in her life.
Dad sounds amazing. You sound amazing. Granny sounds kinda,… problematic about it.
Ask her if its ok for dad to bathe with the little ones. watch hard her physical and words and everything as a response.
Good luck.
Yeah thats a wild assumption for her to make, but maybe she knew a lot of fathers who were perverts in her day, It still happens now, and was known but not talked about in the past. Her fucked up ideas don’t mean your kids shouldn’t go camping though. Take a step back from her though because her thoughts on this are harmful to your children. They don’t need to be taught to fear their father because grandma is clutching pearls. She needs therapy.
Nope, all good in my opinion, he hasn’t given you or your girls any reason to doubt him.
When I was little my sister and I would go alone with our dad to other countries. He had business trips and we’d be left alone at the hotel when he had meetings, but he used to add days to the trip so we could do things. My mom almost never came with because she hates planes, but my sister and I have so many fond and beautiful memories from those trips. Your husband seems to be a great dad, spending 1:1 time doing fun activities they can enjoy together will only strengthen their bond.
Your mother is way out of line. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a Dad taking his daughters camping. There’s a huge need for parents to do stuff like this with their kids, get them out in nature and camping. It’s so sad that your mother doesn’t recognise the wonderful bonding opportunity this will be for them.
So, is it inappropriate to take my son camping as a mom?
i always grew up going camping with my dad. he was gone majority of my childhood for work so whenever we did get to spend time together it was doing stuff like this and a real treat. they will cherish these memories.
Dad of girls here, your mom is a fucking jerk to even imply this.
Even worse is how she chose to do this.
is your mom even contributing anything positive in your life right now?
I would be watching her like a hawk from now on when she is with the kids. This is super crazy stuff and a good warning about what she might try to say to them in the future. They don’t need hangups or anxiety from grandma.
Ask your mom what she knows about a male family members sexually assaulting a younger female family member.
So the biggest issue here for me is that your mom is basically calling your husband a potential molester of your children. She’s already attempted to instill this thought in your daughter which is why she was sad and brought it to you. That is his daughter!!!! What if something happened to you, could be never comfort his daughters, could he never take his OWN DAUGHTERS on vacation where they shared a room because he’s a responsible adult looking after his own kids???
This would be a HUGE issue for me. More than you’re making it honestly. My husband’s family went through horrific incidents surrounding issues like this (due to their mom’s neglect and bringing strange men over) and if anyone accused him of this, we wouldn’t be around them anymore. That’s a huge violation for us.
What is her problem? Why is she assuming the worst of your husband?
that is their father. your mom is weird af
Dump mom and tell her she’s done as part of your family. She can be just another hag in the bar complaining nobody like her
That’s pretty awful of your mum. Perhaps she knew someone who was a predator or was a victim of over herself but that doesn’t make the father of your daughters one!
A statement like that would have some background to it, unless she’s just nuts.
It only matters how you feel. You obviously trust him enough to have had four kids, and another on the way. The only time you need to worry is if your daughters start showing signs of grooming/SA around him, which I highly doubt is the case. I wouldn’t worry, you married him because you trust and love him. He’s their father, of course he wants to bond with his daughters in a way he knows best.
I wonder if your mother has seen some scary stories or experienced first/second hand what some dads have done. But rest assured, it’s not all of them, and it’s probably how she was raised up to think. I’m sorry she even said something that would insinuate the worst outcome from the very father of your children.
Honestly. Feel sorry for the ones to think there is something wrong with this. They don’t have a good, healthy relationship with their parents.
Your mother is using the world views she grew up on in a new world. Girls can camp. Dads can be involved parents. Spouses can make decisions together instead of the wife being the family manager. This entire scenario is what your mom was taught was the wrong way to be a wife/parent/girl. Give her some grace.
I think you need to have a conversation with your mom about boundaries. What she can and can not say to your kids.
Your mom is being wildly inappropriate.
Your husband taking your kids camping is awesome. Girls sleeping in a tent with their dad is not controversial.
Did something traumatic happen to her to make her think that family watching their kids is weird (not that that justifies it at all)
That’s some wild work by your mom. It isn’t weird or inappropriate.
Your mom is being absolutely ridiculously insane. If I was camping and saw your husband with your two girls, I’d probably walk in over and tell them all, “How great! I love that you’re out here with your kiddos! Have a great time!” and then walk away.
Please don’t listen to your mom. She’s a little off her rocker on this one.
This world needs more dads like this.
Bless your family.
This is such a great offense that I’d consider cutting your mom off. She basically accused your husband of assaulting his own daughters. My husband would be raging.
Your mom can stuff it. We love involved fathers.
Ummmm where did she get that thinking from I wonder. She’s absolutely being ridiculous, now Dads can’t spend time with their daughters, this is stupid.
Did she have these concerns about your father?
She’s projecting her own issues and insecurities. Tell your mom to stay in her own lane and not to talk to your kids like that.
Feeding into other people’s negative judgment when they don’t know Jack shit about your relationship will ruin you. Are you married to your mom or husband? You know him. She don’t. Either you correct her or tell her to stfu and stop projecting her insecurities on to you.
I’m a “boy mom” (not the crazy type, I just have 4 boys) Married to their dad, yadda yadda…this would be like saying it was weird for me to take them camping, but I’m the one that does that kind of stuff. Not their dad, he has a different style.
Does that make it weird? Hell no.
My best friend is a “girl mom” her husband/their daddy is outdoorsy and takes them camping and hunting all the time.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
It is YOUR child, not hers. It is YOUR husband, not hers. It is YOUR decision, NOT hers.
She thinks this because she has heard stories. Those stories are not your life. She needs to apologize to your husband at minimum and I’d tell her she should examine her intentions in breaking a little girl’s heart and shattering her joy.
Your mother is using another way to say, “Girls should not spend time with their fathers because they’ll end up having sex.”
That’s the meaning behind her words. Anyone who says it’s inappropriate for a father to do something fun with his daughter is a person who believes it will lead to incest.
Your mother has no business being anywhere near your family. Keep her away before she does some serious damage.
There will come a day when she’ll start throwing accusations out and then your lives will be destroyed forever.
Don’t let her get in your head. There is NOTHING wrong with a father camping with his daughters.
TBF, back in the day, rape by men known to the family was not that “uncommon”. And many families just shrug it off or put it under the rug. And not just family “friends”, but also direct relatives, even uncles or fathers.
So yeah, while you may trust completly your husband, probably you’d think otherwise if you were abused as a kid or know someone close that did.
I’m not saying to believe her and doubt your husband, just understand what her train of thought may be.
I’m more shocked that you allow your mom around your children then their daddy taking them camping. Your mom sounds like she has issues and is not safe to have around your children.
Your mom is insane.
Let your husband make some great memories with his children. They will look back at these moments and be thankful that he spent so much time with them.
There is something psychologically wrong with your mom for saying your husband spending time with his kids is in any way sexual or inappropriate. Does this apply to living in the same home as well?
She’s nuts. Do not let her paint your husband in a bad light. This needs consequences for her.
The only weird and strange is your Mum.
Does she even realise what she’s insinuating?
Tell her to pull her mind out of the gutter.
I can’t imagine the hurt your husband would feel is she dares to bring it up.
He sounds like a wonderful father.
Send them on their way with your blessing.
Don’t allow your weird mom to drive a wedge between your husband and your daughters.
Your Husband sounds a lot like my Dad. He had four girls he raised like boys. We would go camping with him. Our Mother didn’t always go. This created very fond memories with my father and siblings. Not inappropriate at all.
Time to take a step back from your mom. It’s one thing to make a private comment to you, another adult (however wrong she may be). It’s COMPLETELY inappropriate for her say that to your daughter and try to plant the seed that her dad isn’t a safe person! Both you and your husband should be offended by her implication. She sounds like she’s very judgmental (given your comment on how she reacts to your pregnancies).
I do activities with just my 10 year old daughter all the time – we go for walks, we go for bike rides, we climb.
If anything people assume I’m a single dad, but I’ve never had any idea that people think it’s inappropriate to do this these things. He’s their parent after all
I wonder what gave her this crazy idea.
Don’t let your mom get into your head. She’s sexualizing a fun father daughter trip and it’s out of line. She is projecting a fear or something
This isn’t just some man taking your oldest daughters camping……ITS YOUR HUSBAND THEIR DAD! What the actual🦆🦆🦆🦆is wrong with your mother?! Is it really that inappropriate that a man can’t spend time with his daughters? When they were babies was it inappropriate for him to change their diapers and give them baths? It’s time to go LC with mom I’m sorry but she made your daughter cry and pretty much labeled your husband as a predator.
Yeah, this is a huge concern.
And I’m not referring to your husband. Your whack-job mother is creating drama where there isn’t any. And has the potential to ruin your husband’s life.
You know there’s a chance she won’t keep her mouth shut. And if a rumor starts, then your husband’s life is fucked.
And what happens when your husband finds out that his MIL thinks he’s a pervert? He will be devastated. Do you think he is going to allow his children around such a wretched person?
I used to take my two daughters camping, and no one ever thought twice about it. They’re now adults, and we still go camping.
You need to tell your mom that if she ever mentions this again, or breathes a peep of her sick and twisted idea to anyone, you will cut her out of your life permanently. And not just yours, but your daughter’s as well.
Being prepared to use the nuclear option is the only to keep her from royally fucking your husband over.
That’s wild. I feel like your husband should be the one man you feel your kids are totally safe with. Also my dad took me on my first camping trip when I was 5 and aside from making him move our tent to the truck bed because I found a stink bug in our tent, we had a great time. Your girls will remember this trip fondly for the rest of their lives.
I honestly think you’re a borderline AH for even entertaining the idea. I would’ve shut that shit down immediately.
No!! It is a wonderful idea to take his girls camping and they will love it.
My grandfather used to work long hours away from home when his daughters (my mum and aunts) were growing up. For summer holidays every year he would take them on a big camping trip. It was both great time with his girls and also, let’s face it, a nice holiday for my grandmother as well who would stay home. My grandmother loved the two weeks when they were away and the girls (now well into their late 60s and 70s) still talk about their adventures.
If a father can take his daughters on a camping trip in the 1950s and 1960s, then a father can definitely take them on a trip in 2025.
I hate to say it too, but if a parent was to abuse their child, it wouldn’t take going on a camping trip to do so.
I hate that she said that in front of your daughter- she’s definitely projecting
The only pervert here is your mom tbh for thinking it and even saying these kinds of things to you and your daughters.
What is she trying to teach them? That their dad shouldn’t want to spend time with them, teach them about what he loves to do, he can’t be affectionate and care for them without you to supervise? Wtf
Op, you know you have a good man and your daughters have a good father, that’s what matters. And honestly that’s something a lot of us wished for and never got to experience.
That’s crazy. What a great bonding experience. Ignore her.
Wtf is wrong with your mom?
Disrespectfully to your mom but what the fuck is wrong with her. Don’t let your mom’s sick ass way of thinking change the way you trust your husband.
Sounds like she is 1. sexist(because girls and boys can go camping.) and 2. Needs fucking therapy. Honestly, if someone said that to me, I would not let them around my kids and I would cut contact for a while. She could have kept her thoughts and opinions to herself.