I Lied About Having a Miscarriage to Get Out of a Relationship

This is probably the worst thing I’ve ever done and I honestly don’t know if I regret it or not.

A couple years ago I was dating this guy who was, on paper, perfect. Kind, stable, had a good job, treated me well. But something always felt off for me. There was no spark. I tried to force it for months because everyone kept telling me how lucky I was to find someone like him. My mom literally cried when she met him, she loved him that much.

Anyway, I found out I was pregnant. And I freaked out. I didn’t want to be tied to this man forever, not because he was bad but because it felt like I was living someone else’s life. I didn’t tell anyone at first, not even him. A couple weeks later I started spotting and thought I was miscarrying. Went to the doctor, turns out it was just some early complications but everything was fine.

That night I looked at him while he was sleeping next to me and I decided I couldn’t do it. I told him the next morning I’d lost the baby. He cried, held me, was the sweetest human imaginable. And I felt nothing. Just numb.

I broke up with him a week later. I told everyone I was grieving and needed space. No one questioned me, I took a pill and it was over. I still think about it sometimes. He deserved better, he still does. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth.

Part of me thinks I did him a favor. The other part says I’m a lying witch. I know I fucked up.