My sister and I are pretty close in age, so we grew up with the same friends and what not. We went to a church where we met two brothers and became friends with them quickly. I was actually friends with the one she ended up marrying first. But we never got romantic. He and I had a lot in common though, especially with what we both struggled with in life.
Backstory on my sister and I’s dynamic: I’m the older one, and the way I would get in trouble as a kid was when I defended myself against my younger sister. She would intentionally push my buttons, but then cry when I actually fought back. I would never start things with her, just finish them. But I always ended up in trouble instead of her. As we grew up, she was jealous of my looks and personality, so much so that my mom even recognized it. I always thought she was prettier than me, but I never got jealous. I was just trying to look out for her as we got older, and I tried to connect with her, but she didn’t like me having the same interests or friends as her.
Fast forward to today, she married the guy that I was close with growing up. We had grown apart before they even started dating, so it wasn’t even a thing for me to see her with him. I was really happy for her because they seemed good together.
Another fast forward to one night on thanksgiving. So he had addictions issues. It’s been a couple different things throughout his life, but at that time it was alcohol. I had no idea about this at the time. So one night, when everyone was staying at our parent’s house, he decided to come knock on my door and ask me where the nearest gas station was. I asked him why, and he confessed it was because he needed a drink. I said it was okay for him to come in for a second because I couldn’t hear him very well(the room was very long). He told me more about it, and I asked him if he still dealt with his p*rn addiction like he had growing up. We both had dealt with that as kids, and talked about it so much growing up, that I didn’t even think it was inappropriate to ask about. I thought the alcohol was replacing his old addiction. When I asked that, he said no, and I said well if you do start again, you should go to a sex therapist. It would be helpful. He said okay and asked me to massage his shoulders. I thought it was weird, but I naively did for a minute. Then I said okay, well that’s enough of that. He then proceeded to tell me that he was thinking of me in a “certain way”, and he said he should probably not be. I said, okay? So then you should leave. He left, and the next morning, I felt so guilty.
I told my sister a few days later, because I wanted to make sure it was out in the open instead of hidden, even though nothing happened. She said thanks for telling me, and then she asked her husband what happened. He proceeded to tell her that I had tried to seduce him by talking to him about sex and massaging his shoulders. And he called my behavior wh*rish. After she told me what he said, I was infuriated and me and him had words over the phone. I would never try to seduce him, though I was naive to let him come into my room so late at night to ask a question. Now my sister and I have zero relationship because of this scumbag, and I don’t know how to clear my name, or if it’s even worth it at this point. Thing is, he is the kind of guy that would cheat on her if given the right opportunity, and I hate that I was so nice to him. Sometimes, in my Christian, religious family, being nice and helpful is taken as being flirty or seductive. I hate it.