I have always been sickly since I was a child. I had 4 siblings, one year apart, so you could imagine the stress my parents had to go to when raising us. But is it really normal to be hit for being sick? My earliest memories was being grabbed by the hair by my mom from vomiting on the floor when I was 3-4 years old, you can imagine how long that stuck with me. That became one of my core memories. I’m 17 now and recently opened this up to my friends, they said it wasn’t really normal for parents to do that. I’m genuinely confused.
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No, it’s not normal at all to feel scared to tell your parents that you’re ill – nor is it normal to be hit for actually being sick. Hitting your child is abuse. Full stop. Hitting your sick child is even worse.
I’m so sorry, OP, you deserve better parents that are safe and caring – none of their lack of caring or kindness is your fault. You are not hard to love – I hope you’ll keep that in mind until you can leave them behind for good.
No, it’s not normal to be hit for being sick. Parents hitting kids in general, is not okay. It’s abuse.
Not at all normal, but it becomes normal in a narc household. I’ve said it before here that I used to get horrible ear infections growing up, and I was ignored a lot of the time to the point that I had to get surgery as an adult and lost 20% hearing permanently in the left ear. I also had mild scoliosis that was ignored that I had addressed as an adult on my own. I would be crying for my mom at night from ear pain and my flying monkey father would tell me to leave my mother alone and go to sleep. I was sent to school sick a lot of the time because she didn’t want to deal with me being sick at home.
Anyway, I think now that it’s because a sick child attracts attention or needs attention and they don’t like that. As I got older, I noticed that if I had a cold, she would have flu. If I stubbed my toe, she sprained her ankle. The need for attention was always more than caring for her child.
My 3yo told me his stomach hurt and I walked him quickly to the bathroom, saying if you need to just throw up it’s fine. We made it to the toilet door and he threw up against the door. I said it’s fine it’s fine, and I saw he wanted to throw up so I said try in the toilet – big mistake lol because it went everywhere ON and AROUND instead of in. Would have been better on the floor lol. He was crying and I was like Oh my goodness it’s fine, asking does he feel better, saying let’s go rinse your mouth etc. Stuff like that has happened before, and I realised that how my mother would react was insane. Screaming, blaming, that didn’t help anyone. She would make us clean our own vomit as if we had done it on purpose.
I know all of us here are so intent on not being our parents, and small things like not hitting or screaming at your kid for being sick is one way. To others it seems like normal parenting to comfort a sick child, but to us it was abnormal.
Every time I got sick, it was somehow my fault and ndad demanded that I figure out who made me sick…all because he didn’t want to get sick.
It isn’t normal, loving parents don’t do this to their children. I’m sorry you were horribly abused.
Loving parents comfort and find ways to help their children feel more comfortable when they’re sick. You deserve so much better.
No but it is with parents that we have. I’m almost 40 now. I was living on my own, working and traveling the world. Very happy. 5 years ago I got sick and started to lose my ability to walk along with many other things like drive. I didn’t say a word. Actively avoided my mother. It was my sister and niece who mentioned to her that I wasn’t feeling good. She showed up to my apartment and I tried to act like nothing was wrong. Long story short she was upset that I didn’t trust her enough to tell her I was sick but more so that I was willing to die in peace in my apartment than ask/tell her. No she hasn’t fully changed for the better but she knows how overbearing she is. Crazy part is that if she didn’t step in, I would have died of a rare cancer that would have taken me out within a year. Oh well. It’s the chance I was willing to take to have peace .
Not at all normal, my parents were like yours. Now as an adult I discovered I have some health problems that could’ve been fixed during childhood.
It’s not normal. They’ve convinced you that anything you need you don’t deserve and it flows that you don’t deserve to get medical care. I went through this with my ndad and to this day I have so many problems investing in myself and my body.
I’m terrified to tell mine, but I don’t know exactly why outside of my parents being terrible. But I don’t know why I’m worried to be sick specifically
I once was hit by a car and broke part of my foot as a child in a hit and run. I kept it secret from them for 3 weeks because I knew they would just yell at me and get mad. And they did
The mother in me wants to steal you from these monsters and fuss over you. You deserve love, gentleness, comfort, consolation, and medical attention. Good parents would never do otherwise.
Also, all the comments here are right that hitting a child is abuse. Period.
I can’t wait for you to get out of there and find a support system. Hang in there, it gets better.
I have the same problem which has stayed with me for life. Parents didn’t “allow” me to be sick or injured. I hid all of my injuries and sickness from them. Some times, I was even punished for being sick. I think it’s because they can’t stand having any attention taken away from them.