I’ve been with my partner (male 32) for 2 years before getting pregnant. Unplanned pregnancy but we were happy.
Our baby is now 18 month old, he is the honestly the best dad, super involved in everything, he cooks, he cleans and is just very good for the baby and me.
This is where I am having issues, I’ve been back to work for 6 month and I have been starting to feel like my real self again. In my body, in my mind and in my life. And Right now I do not feel like having a relationship, I don’t know if it make sense.
I want to work, take care of my baby, take care of me and sleep. That’s it. Let’s be clear I love him, but I don’t feel like making time for anyone because my time outside work is so small. I don’t feel like taking care of a relationship right now, I know we are in one, we have a baby, a house etc.
I do not feel like being in a relationship with him or anyone. I just feel like being alone and only caring for me and my
Baby. I dont want sexual relation, I don’t want to go on dates, I just dont want anything.
I want my spare time to be about me, reading, working out etc. I don’t feel like sharing my feelings, talking, taking care of
is feelings. Right now I feel like being alone. I’ve always LOVED being alone, I have many friends but I really love and value my alone time.
Is this a phase? Is this a sign I should separate? Have you even been trough something like this?
Comments
Thank you u/Effective-Abroad-158 for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.
Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.
Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
If you don’t want to a relationship split and just coparent. Let him be able to move on and date ans have a relationship with someone
I think it’s normal to have ebbs and flows in any relationship, especially when your kids are very little. It doesn’t sound like you’re married so I guess there isn’t really a commitment to making it work. I mean, you can do what you want, it’s your choice. I personally would stick it out and maybe do some counseling. He doesn’t sound like a bad guy.
Never, ever make a BIG decision, within the first 2 – 2.5 years of giving birth. Please just wait a few more months. You are both new parents. You need time for your body and mind to recover. You don’t want to jump into splitting up, sharing custody, dealing with future stepmoms, that will have authority over your child.
Please just wait a little while.
This sounds like a form of the roommate phase. You’ve said you still love him so I wouldn’t separate.
I have a 21 month old and I completely feel you. It’s sooo exhausting to take care of work, a child, a home and yourself that yes my partner is indeed at the very bottom of this list.
I’ve been working with a therapist who said my emotional and physical needs ( hugs / cuddles / kisses not sex) are being satisfied by my baby so I’m not feeling the need to get it from my partner. Maybe it’s similar for you?
I certainly think it’s a phase you can slowly work out of. And if you’re not ready to make the effort just yet, it’s ok. They say it takes a full 2 years for moms to recover from a pregnancy physically and emotionally.