In an argument, we can often panic and cling to one or two key themes that you then try and force yourself to say when you can eventually respond. When it is your turn to speak, you’ll find that rarely is the exact response you thought of even applicable anymore, and so you’re even more panicked when you can’t think of the new response that is required. You’re also likely to miss key ideas or insights that the respondent is saying.
If you dedicate your focus to actively listening to the other person, you’ll be better equipped to respond to any changes in the direction of the argument. You may even be able to use their words/logic against them and better convince them of your position or ideas.
A good analogy is like playing a game of chess. You will never win if you’ve already decided the moves you’re going to make. In reality, you need to focus on what you’re opponent is doing, and what moves they’re then likely to make, that you’ll need to counter.
The best case scenario, is you realise you were both somewhat confused, or have previously miscommunicated, and a mutual resolution is easily
achievable.
Comments
Introducing LPT REQUEST FRIDAYS
We determine “Friday” as beginning at 12am Eastern Time (EST: UTC/GMT -5, EDT: UTC/GMT -4)
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This post has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by upvoting or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn’t help you in any way, please downvote. If you don’t care, leave it for the others to decide.
Listen to understand, not to respond. Many people will immediately find something to say and not wait until you have finished your point.
And you have the right to take a moment to think of your response. Easier when negotiating, but at least sometimes more important in arguments.
Excellent. We all need these tips. Thank you.
I think it actually helps to know the best lines in chess
Does this hold up in crisis negotiations?
I force myself to say “I understand “ even when I’m listening to something I know is nonsense because it actually makes me listen more to what they’re saying