Falling in love again after being in love once. How does it feel?

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Single 34f. I’ve been in love with one man ever, we parted ways for good. I’m single now, and sure I’ve dated but how does it feel falling in love again? How did you know? Did you marry that person?

Most importantly when did you let your guard down? I’m no where near this process but would love to hear 🥰 as I’m not sure if I’ll get around to that again in this lifetime.

Comments

  1. notaspydefnotaspy Avatar

    Just like it felt for the first time, but with more maturity. I let my guard down pretty quickly because I could tell this was different from all my other relationships before.

  2. girliep0pp Avatar

    It feels happy and exciting and hopeful. The main difference is you now have someone to compare your previous partner to. I know people tell you not to compare but it’s literally impossible not to.

    I’m unfortunately the type of person who’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop (I’m working on it lol). But this means I typically don’t let my guard down fully unless I’ve seen a LOT of consistent behavior / words and actions matching.

    I did not marry the others I fell in love with and while it’s sad, having gone through heartbreak and falling in love again, I know it’ll be okay 🙂

  3. 0l0l00l Avatar

    You know, every time I thought I loved someone, it pales in comparison to the next one. I think our experiences and what we are looking for becomes more refined, and our love deepens in ways that you can’t expect. For my husband, it’s remarkable how deep that love goes. It makes me think that as much as I thought I was in love those other times, it just wasn’t that because it wasn’t anything comparable to what I have with my husband now.

  4. mansumania Avatar

    Well, for me it was never as intense its hard to allow yourself to fall that hard for someone again each subsequent time it was less intense, exciting as the previous time maybe I am a minority here judging by the other comments? Maybe because I am a guy? who knows

  5. doyouhavehiminblonde Avatar

    I fell in love again at 36 and it felt calming and reassuring. No one in my life had ever made me feel so secure. I "knew" right away but rejected it initially because of my trauma and the timing was too soon after I left my ex (like 6 months later).

  6. DepartmentRound6413 Avatar

    Better. It feels better.

  7. whatasmallbird Avatar

    I tend to let my guard down pretty quickly because I’m a hopeless romantic.

    My last long term relationship was from age 25-28

    Started this relationship at 29. But this time, like others have said, just feels more mature and healthy. None of the obsession that youth brings. Confidence to know that he’s not running around on me. Respect to each other’s free time and boundaries. I have this level of comfort and intimacy that just warms my soul

  8. tenargoha Avatar

    I have been in love many times 🙈 I tell my husband that I know from a statistically representative sample that he is the one for me 🙈 I think it’s quite reasonable to fall in love more than once. it’s helped me build my competence to be in a relationship, which is necessary because I’m one of those people who’s not born with emotional maturity, I have to learn it. The difference between my husband and my previous relationships is that he is a unique special person who is the only person I ever wanted to marry, like a breath of fresh air.

  9. Odd-Peace2963 Avatar

    I don’t really have an answer to this. I’ve been wondering the same thing. These days, when I date, it feels like I’ll never fall in love the way I did in my early 20’s. There’s always this lingering thought what if.

  10. shittyswordsman Avatar

    It feels different every time. The great beauty and joy in it is discovering how it’s going to feel 😊

  11. saltandsassbeach Avatar

    It was scary to let my guard down but I realized that loving someone meant me accepting them as they are and wanting them to be happy with or without me. It made me at peace and less anxious. My love was not dependent on any conditions-it just was. They were also a childhood friend. They ended up being a horrific communicator and the end was painful but I don’t regret allowing myself to feel that love again. It was the first time I had said it or felt it in years and it was true and real

  12. That-Cauliflower-287 Avatar

    I had been married for most of my 20s to man I loved, but he treated me terribly. About a year after we separated, I started seeing a man I had known for about 3 years. I was 29 and he was 35.

    I wouldn’t say I fell in love with him, but it felt more like I waded in like you do when you walk into the ocean. I did it slowly because I had been hurt so deeply. But once I got in far enough, I let the waves crash over me and pull me out to sea.

    We’ve been together for 6 years and married for 3, and it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in.

  13. Hello_Hangnail Avatar

    Falling in love feels great but thinking about how it’s going to feel when it ends keeps my head from floating away entirely into the clouds

  14. Jessica_rose_gg Avatar

    I left my ex after 9 years together, we were engaged, and we were deeply in love for the first 4 years, but things went downhill after that. I was still a ride or die for him until I realized how unhappy I was receiving nothing in return. When I left him, I found someone new, it started out with a lot of romantic sparks, but I didn’t think he was the one I’d marry right out the gate. While I knew I liked him I just enjoyed our relationship for what it was in the moment and focused on myself. It took 2 years of being with him and having him steadily prove to me that he was a rock in my life before I considered him the one. I realized how much he did for me with no expectations in return, he was caring, he cooked for me daily, he paid for everything because he wanted to, he provided solutions to my problems, he was a constant in my life when I needed that. I was able to see that my first love was actually not as picture perfect as I thought it was because he set the bar so high and showed me what a healthy relationship really looked like. Finding love as an adult is very different than when you are a teenager, it’s slower and not as eventful so it could be hard to recognize if that is what you are comparing it to. While he was able to prove to me what a healthy loving relationship looked like it did take me some time to realize that and truly appreciate it because I was used to only toxic relationships. We are engaged now and expecting a daughter together.

  15. exploding_purpose Avatar

    Full disclosure: I am a man around your age. I’ve fallen in love twice. The first, although little more than puppy love, was the sweetest. It was also the silliest, but I consider it fondly. Falling in love a second time, years later, was an act of surrender, if that makes sense. Less sweet, yet so much more savory. I look back on the second far more fondly. I’m looking forward to the third, if chance permits.

    Concerning letting your guard down, I won’t speak on that, but I will say that opportunity abounds. For opportunity to be yours, you need only prepare for it and perceive it. I believe in you. Best of luck!

  16. No-Sir-2136 Avatar

    It really all depends, it always feels good in the beginning until you get those bumps in the road, i can face all the challenges that god hands us but…. It’s the person on that i chose which are always broken, I don’t want to fall in love again, I think this is my last rodeo, most people need to find themselves before looking for love, not speaking on myself, speaking on those i choose, I don’t feel like a failure i just feel that everyone deserves to be loved properly but I came to understand if a person doesn’t know what it feels like to be loved, it isn’t gonna be reciprocated properly