I (M36) have a group of good friends from my last job that I still see regularly. We’ve all moved on to other jobs but still try to hang out every few months or so, depending on everyone’s schedule. It’s nothing fancy, usually just grab a bite to eat somewhere and catch up.
The problem came at the end of last year. One of my friends became good friends with his co-worker, I’ll call “Mike”. Mike has slowly joined our friend group and has gone out to eat with us twice now. Now Mike is a great guy by all accounts except he has expensive tastes and tries the “Let’s split the bill evenly” even if he’s ordered more than anyone else.
First time it happened, whatever, it wasn’t too bad. The second time, he ordered a full $20 more than anyone else. I should’ve stood my ground but I’m too much of a people pleaser. It’s something I’m working on.
Well I recently got a raise at work and wanted to celebrate with my friends. I suggested we go to a steakhouse for lunch, that way people could order off the lunch menu without spending too much. As soon as I mentioned it, Mike loved the idea. What a shocker right?
I’ve been seeing a bunch of posts lately about this sort of thing and the overwhelming comment is tell the server ahead of time that we’ll be splitting the bill. So that is exactly what I did.
We went out for lunch and everybody ordered reasonable lunch dishes, except Mike. He got the steak and lobster. Since I was on the other corner of the table, I got to order last. Before I ordered, I asked everyone at the table if they were ok ordering separately. I wanted to splurge since I was celebrating and didn’t want to make everyone else pay for it. Everyone was on board with it except for one person. I’ll let you guess who that was.
While we were all eating and catching up, Mike barely spoke to me. I think he was upset he had to pay his full meal. Oh well, it made my prime rib taste that much better.
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Sounds like your revenge tasted juicy and delicious!
Mike just needs to split, period š
Awesome, good way to get back at that jerk.
Mikey the Moocher’s mooching days are over. Congrats on the raise and the prime revenge!
Good job!!
Way to lead by example
Split a few more bills and Mike will magically split. Dude is just there for discount food and drinks.
Mikey will not be present for the next get-together. š.Well done you! šš»
He could’ve change his order after learning the demise of his mooching plan
A moocher and someone who invites himself to the party. What a wonderful guy. Glad you put a stop to the mooching at least.
The first time I met my ex-wife we went with a big group to a super nice seafood restaurant. I had just gotten paid that day so I wanted to celebrateā¦..with a 1lb lobster tail.
When the bill come, everyone in the group insisted on splitting the bill evenlyā¦but I insisted more that I would then cover the tip, which would more than make up for the extravagant dinner I had.
She said years later thatās why she agreed to go out with me – because I was a decent upstanding person who would never make someone else pay for his meal.
Revenge is a dish best served medium-rare.
Thank you for the absolute fabulous recommendation as far as how to handle it. Itās perfect. We have a couple friends that are just like Mike. This will fix it next time.
Well done you! Perfectly handled, no muss no fuss (except for Mikey, who now knows who won’t be putting up with his mooching anymore).šš»
My friends always pay for their own dinners. Less due to moochers and more due to people paying with either cash or plastic, which creates problems. Some are single and others are couples. Separate checks for each person/duo works best.
I hate it when people just want to split the bill (not mentioning it before ordering) because I usually order less than others. And anytime we do end up splitting the bill, if I order a drink or something more expensive, I insist on putting more in.
Your friend’s “friend” is just a moocher.
I’ve never had friends try to mooch. But when it happened, they sweetly said, “oh let’s just split it!” I was too stunned to say no. It was wildly disproportionate!
We never invited them out again. And I also specify “separate checks” to the waiter.
And you framed it perfectly, not as a smite to the conman, but a courtesy to the real friends. Truly impressive!
Do that every damn time.
I cannot for the life of me understand why people split the bill evenly, rather than everyone paying for what they order. Do they think itās easier for the server? Maybe. But not by much. Itās been a hot minute since I waited tables, but I worked at a sports bar where tabs sometimes ran high, and everyone paid their own way. I rarely had to split the bill evenly. It was not a big deal to keep each person separate. The POSes are designed for that.
I’m from the south we all just argue over who’s going to pay the bill and then somebody does.
The difference is everybody’s prepared and fully intentioned on paying themselves.
It’s funny cos many years ago, we had a work friend who always got out of paying for drinks in bars, we got him back by ordering a large round and told the barman our friend would pay, and guess his actual name? Yes he’s called Mike. We are all still friends to this day.
Next time just tell him to cut the shit and pay for his own ass.
Years ago I went out with friends and ordered an appetizer as a meal. (One of those three options ones.) No one ordered any appetizers to share. When my food came out, the ārunnerā set it in the middle of the table. As I said āThatās mine. Pass it down.ā My āfriendsā started taking pieces off the plate. When it got to me it was gone. Come time to pay and we were short the price of the appetizer and someone noticed I hadnāt paid in. I gave the waiter $5 for my tea and a tip and told everyone āYou ate my dinner, you pay for itā as I got up and left. Later a few apologized but none of the ones who helped themselves to my food. Thatās when I realized which ones were crappy friends.
Thatās actually great advice in general. Put the onus on yourself from the get go, āIāll take my bill separate! Iām STARVING/want extra drinks!ā
If you donāt go all out say better fiscal sense took over.
Just curious, but why did you include your age and sex in parentheses at the beginning of this post? I see this often on Reddit and canāt understand how that information adds context to the story.
Pretty good way of handling it without directly calling him out. Nice.
FUCK MIKE
-and that’s how you do it! LOL
Iāve never seen people just split the bill. Everybody always pays for what they ordered unless we all split an appetizer.
Who the fuck does what Mike does? Do they think that no one notices how shitty this is??? EVERYONE SEES YOU MY GUY
I went to a place for lunch when my ex-BIL was in town (before he was an ex and I could barely stand him, but was trying to be nice). I was working and he was passing through and asked, so I thought āeh, why not?ā
At the end of lunch, the waitress asks how the bill is to be split. I figure it would be easier for me to pay, so I did. Instead of Jackass saying āThanks for lunchā or something like that. He goes āIf I knew you were paying I would have gotten a beer or two.ā I never went out for another meal with him again.
BRAVO! This happened to me once and I was so shocked that I didn’t say anything.Ā Still kicking myself to this day
I have the opposite issue. A very dear friend who always wants to split the bill and she isnāt drinking. Itās been a few years, but still an ongoing battle to make her pay less. LOL.
I used to work with a “Mike”. Every time a group of us went to lunch, and Mike was there, when we put in our portion of bill, somehow the total came up short. So we’d each put in a dollar or two more until it was right. And the tip for the waitress… always came up short, so we’d each throw in a few more dollars until is was right.
One day Mike wasn’t with us. We all pooled our money, one of the guys counted it up… plenty, and a good tip for the waitress. We all looked at each other knowingly. Yeah… Mike’s not here today.
You weren’t fooling anyone, Mike. We just put up with you because we had to work with you.
I don’t know how moochers get away with that even split trick… more than once? In our gang they’d get called out for being a cheapazoid.
This is why I love going to Korean BBQ or other places where you pay a set price for the meal. That way, everyone pays equally but some can eat more than others
Soo glad that here in Germany it’s very uncommon to split the bill, normally everyone pays for themselves. And you don’t need to tell the waiter either. You only need to tell if one wants to pay for everything.
Who the hell orders steak and lobster at lunch? Dude was definitely trying to screw you guys over.
I used to work at a company where we would get vendors taking us out to lunch/dinner. I had one coworker that would always order the most expensive thing on the menu and sometimes even order to go. How fucking gauche!
A friend we rarely see tries to just divide up the bill every-time we go out to eat. Always, we tell them we want separate checks (because we were burned by him if we went along with it) Hence, we rarely see him and his wife.
Some people are so cheap they squeak when they walk or talk.
ā¦. Iām confused.
Late 30s female. Major city
My friends and I always just split the bill evenly.
If one person had a little more than another, who cares? We all go out together all the time. I think we tried to track it once and in the end it wasnāt a big difference after enough time.
It felt kind of petty to count up who had what at the end of the meal.
I doubt Mike is trying to mooch. He probably just does not realize everybody else’s financial situation, or actively thinks about it. And he does not know what you all will order. Perhaps you will go all out expensive too. This was a classic Friends episode. And to add, maybe he’s trying to be considerate to the server. Multiple checks can take much more time than having one check. I know a lot of people disagree with this, but it’s true. I’ve been in the industry for 35 years.
Iāve had the opposite problem with my husband wanting to pay for everyoneās meals. Weāre certainly not wealthy, although he had a lot more money in his former life. Heās much better now, and we discuss beforehand how weāre going to handle group meals.
On the other hand, weāve also had the freeloader who held back getting their wallet out in hopes that someone else would pay. Iāve had to become more blunt with him, ācause ya know, some people have to be hit over the head with a 2×4 before they get the message.
A good way to head this off at the pass is to ask the server (before they begin taking orders) if they can keep everyoneās meals on separate checks.
If not, you turn to the moocher and say, āI am sticking to a budget so I am just going to order what I can pay for. Cool with you?ā
If they say no, they want to split the bill evenly, leave the lunch before ordering.
Well played and smart job arranging separate checks with the server up front.
Literally have a brother named Mike who does this