This is such a specific feeling but I moved countries away from everything I know 7 years ago but I’m still struggling to put my foot down and feel confident in myself.
I have a boyfriend and I have borderline disorder and whenever my boyfriend shares something amazing I struggle to feel happy for him and instead get reminded how far behind in life, he earns alot of money and I’m struggling to get a job in my field….. I just got a short consultancy job for 4 months that pays decently but I don’t know why I did a masters?!!? he just got a 600 euros raise and I’m still living in a room in a shared house whilst he has his own studio and has the money to buy his own house….. I feel like I’m so behind in life and I wonder if he thinks lowly of me and I don’t have family and I’m all alone and he has such a big community and I don’t have anything and he just found out and he didn’t invite me to celebrate the occasion with him, he just asked his friends who are a couple to celebrate with him….. (they are his bestfriend) and he knows I’m free this evening as well too 😭😭😭😭 what does this mean?
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You are feeling insecure. I’d feel the same way in your shoes.
But what do you mean he just found out?
If he just found out about your borderline and just excluded you? It means he’s cruel.
You need to tell him you felt left out. Don’t say anything else unless he asks why. Keep the answers simple and universally understood.
Honestly, you might not be in a place in your life where you can have a relationship.
You need to develop a relationship with yourself. Focus on working on understanding and dealing with your diagnosis. Work on finding a path that makes you feel good, finding work that makes you feel good, and finding out who you are. Spend time alone with a purpose.
Don’t compare where you are in life with other people’s experiences! It’s not a race. It’s not a competition. Nobody is watching, or keeping score. You are here to challenge and develop YOU from where and who you are. Other people’s journeys are their own.