30F here. I’m going to an event in the city on Sunday with my boyfriend and another friend. My ex best friend will most likely be there (it’s possible we won’t run into each other, but there’s a high chance we will).
This friendship ended a year and a half ago. And it was a messy end. I’ve only seen her once since then – she showed up at my work to ask to be friends again. I said no. This friendship was extremely toxic and my life is better without it.
I never got to say “my piece.” I still have quite a bit of anger towards her. And if I see her I know she’ll try to come up to me and talk to me.
I keep running through it in my head if I should ignore her and walk the other way, say I don’t want to talk, or talk. The hurt part of me wants to ignore the crap out of her but I’m genuinely not sure what the right thing to do is here.
What would you do?
Comments
Honestly, as best you can, just be civil, say hello, and then go about your day!
Just continue doing what you were doing. Enjoy the event and the company you are in.
Do what you need to do to stay civil.
Turn and walk away. Maybe after a quick nod of acknowledgement if necessary. A brief chat with a swift exit if you can manage and get stuck in such a situation.
Doll yourself up in a way that you’re unrecognizable 😂😅
I think the right thing to do is ignore. In your shoes if I see her from a distance I would try to change direction so we don’t run into each other. If you do run into each other or she seeks you out, I would be polite, say hi, and then move on quickly. If she doesn’t take the hint and tries to force a conversation, then I might openly say something like, “I’m not really interested in catching up sorry, I have to go. ” I don’t think a public confrontation so you can “say your piece” is a great idea, nor is it likely to give you closure or make you feel better
I don’t think you need to air out your grievances at an event that you’re looking to enjoy. No need to ignore her, but be civil and turn down any conversation that she tries to steer towards your past friendship.
A lot of details are missing here, but personally I’ve never found a lot of catharsis in “saying my piece” to someone who can’t or won’t hear me.
I tend to prefer a “let them, let me” approach. Let them think what they want. Let me protect my peace.
Be civil while discouraging a conversation
Pretend you don’t know each other. It’s like seeing an ex-BF in public or someone you rejected after a date or two
Treat it just like running into anyone else at an event. Say hello and that you hope she enjoys the event. Who wants to make a scene in public? Don’t be a drama llama.
I will never, ever let anyone know they got to
Me. Ever. They don’t get the satisfaction. They get a civil, “hey, how are you?!” And I will then move along. . No way will the narrative ever be given that I’m a psycho. No, living well and maintaining my composure and reputation is always going to be my focus.
Just ignore. Ignore even if she says anything. No reason to bring up the past or say your peace because it won’t solve anything or make you friends again. Just ignore her.
Let it go and live your better life. They won’t hear/understand you anyway. Say Hi and carry on, or politely stand there if they’re talking to others in your group.
I broke up with my toxic bff several times, and this one stuck. I’ve let go, we’re pleasant in group settings, and we carry on with our lives.